What are Near-Death Experiences?

Near-death experiences (NDEs) happen when a person is either clinically dead, near death, or in a situation where death is likely or expected. Today’s medical treatments can save many individuals who might have otherwise died. As a result, people return from these traumatic events with remarkable stories and insights.

Lee Witting

Could having a near-death experience reduce fear of death and of funeral planning? Lee Witting, representing the International Association for Near-Death Studies (IANDS), joins host Gail Rubin on The Doyenne of Death Podcast to discuss a range of near-death experience issues.

Lee Witting’s interest in NDEs began as a child, when he drowned in a lake near Branchville, NJ. He serves as a chaplain at a major Maine hospital and pastors the Union Street Brick Church in Bangor, Maine. He is publications director for the International Association for Near-Death Studies. Check out his weekly exploration of Near-Death Experiences on NDE Radio with Lee Witting.

This interview is being shared in two parts, approximately 30 minutes each. Topics discussed include:

• What a near-death experience is and how they are perceived
• The hallmarks of both pleasurable and distressing NDEs
• How NDEs change those who experience them
• Who has near-death experiences
• What NDEs can teach us about the body, mind and spirit.

The Doyenne of Death® podcast covers a wide range of critical information most people don’t consider until there’s a death in the family. Host Gail Rubin brings a light touch to a serious subject and presents expert interviews on funeral planning issues with practical insights into the party no one wants to plan. By planning ahead and having a conversation, families can reduce stress at a time of grief, minimize family conflict, save money and create a meaningful, memorable “good goodbye.” Sign up for a free planning form and get more information at www.AGoodGoodbye.com.

ABOUT GAIL RUBIN

Gail Rubin, Certified Thanatologist and The Doyenne of Death^®, is an award-winning author, speaker, and pioneering death educator. She is also a Certified Funeral Celebrant, funeral planning consultant, and insurance agent. She uses humor, film clips and outside-the-box activities to get the funeral planning conversation started. She has held Before I Die Festivals in New Mexico for five years in a row. Rubin is a member of the Association for Death Education and Counseling and the International Cemetery, Cremation and Funeral Association.

The post New on The Doyenne of Death Podcast: Near-Death Experiences first appeared on A Good Goodbye.

It’s Caskets Week at AGoodGoodbye.com! With Create a Great Funeral Day (Oct. 30), Visit a Cemetery Day (the last Sunday in October), Halloween/Dia de los Muertos (Oct. 31), All Saints Day (Nov. 1) and All Souls Day (Nov. 2), take a look at these casket videos recorded at the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) expo. The event took place in Baltimore October 10-12, 2022. These three videos focus on different types of caskets, from eco-friendly to something that will not biodegrade, plus a vintage casket truck!

Passages International Bamboo Caskets for Cremation

In this video, Gail Rubin visits with Darren Crouch, president of Passages International. The company specializes in eco-friendly and biodegradable caskets and urns. At this convention, the company was emphasizing its bamboo casket for cremation. Many funeral homes use a cardboard box for cremation. Listen as Darren Crouch talks about the benefits: beautiful, affordable, clean and fast burning, low carbon footprint, and fair trade created. The bamboo casket is made in Bangladesh, creating jobs and skills for their workers there. Learn more at www.PassagesInternational.com or www.AGreenerFuneral.org.

Thacker Caskets and Vintage Casket Truck

Danielle Thacker, Executive VP of Sales & Marketing for Thacker Caskets, shows a classic casket truck the company recently restored. The truck was purchased by her grandparents in the 1960s. Found abandoned in a forest with a tree growing through the truck, it took them three years to restore this unique vehicle. Thacker Caskets is the third-largest casket company in America, and the third-generation family-owned company is based in Maryland. Their metal caskets are made in Alabama, and their wooden caskets are made with a family owned company in Canada. Learn more at their website: www.ThackerCaskets.com.

Clear View Caskets

In this video, Gail visits with Rangel & Andrea Fernandez, Owners and Co-Founders of Clear View Caskets. Gail does a “test rest” in their new GOLD COLLECTION CASKET, popularly known by families as “The Snow White Casket” due to its round top design.

Clear View Caskets was founded by this couple in their home garage. Their state-of-the-art manufacturing facility is now based out of Miami Florida, employing USA workers who build the caskets by hand. They export their luxury and unique casket collections nationally and internationally.

Their intention was to offer a revolutionary way to truly VIEW the passing of a loved one. What they never anticipated was the social and psychological benefits thousands of families all across America are reporting. “We all fear what we cannot see, therefore, this exceptional product provides much more than luxury,” explained Andrea Fernandez. Their slogan states; “HEALING BEGINS WITH A CLEAR VIEW CASKET!” Clear View Caskets® owns the patent to this concept of the transparent casket, as well as all design variations and functionality in America and other countries. Their website is www.ClearViewCaskets.com and you can follow them on Instagram @clearviewcaskets.

For more videos about products and services exhibited at the NFDA convention and other funeral and cemetery expos, check out the Tools of the Trade playlist on YouTube.

Gail Rubin, Certified Thanatologist and The Doyenne of Death, attended and spoke at the NFDA convention on “How a Before I Die Festival Can Fill Your Preneed Pipeline” (view her presentation rehearsal here). She also interviewed exhibitors at this funeral industry event. Subscribe to her YouTube channel @Gail Rubin for more videos about death and funeral planning information – know before you go, shop before you drop!

The post Caskets Galore at the National Funeral Directors Association Expo first appeared on A Good Goodbye.

What’s on Your Bucket List?

What would you like to do before you die? Many people create a bucket list of goals and experiences they’d like to achieve during their lifetimes.

If the Before I Die Festival Ohio taking place in Dayton October 27-29, 2022, isn’t on your list, add it now! With 11 events focused on death awareness and planning for end-of-life issues, this Festival needs to be on everyone’s to-do list.

The Before I Die Festival Ohio offers creative activities and events that spur conversation around our inevitable mortality. The goal is to help people think and talk openly about death and dying in an upbeat space and take steps to plan ahead. Highlights include:

• A Dia de los Meurtos dinner in Calvary Cemetery on October 27 (register in advance $20)
• Tours at two cemeteries and Death Café discussions at two funeral homes October 27 and 28.
• Showings of the documentaries Being Mortal (Oct. 27) and Living While Dying (Oct. 29).
• A daylong symposium at the University of Dayton Curran Building on a range of end-of-life topics on Saturday, October 29. (register in advance $35)

While most events are free, those event that include food have a small charge. See the full schedule of events and register online at https://beforeidieohio.com/event/.

“People who have a loved one die without planning ahead tell me ‘I didn’t know how complicated this was going to be’ and ‘I wish I had my loved one here to help me make these decisions,’” said Neil Fogarty with Dodds Memorials, coordinator of the Before I Die Festival Ohio. “We want to let folks know you can make these decisions ahead of time and avoid burdening a loved one who’s lost in the fog of grief.”

Death Cafe host Gail Rubin, CT, The Doyenne of Death®

Speakers at the event include downsizing experts, financial and estate planners, funeral directors, hospice and tissue bank representatives, and special guest speaker, Gail Rubin, Certified Thanatologist and The Doyenne of Death®. Rubin is a pioneering death educator who uses humor, film clips and outside the box activities to teach about planning for end-of-life. She was one of the first people to hold a Death Café in the United States and the only person to hold a Before I Die Festival five years in a row.

The full schedule of events follows. For online registration, speakers, and other information about the Before I Die Festival Ohio, visit https://beforeidieohio.com/.

Click here to watch a news story about the upcoming Festival on WHIO-TV.

Schedule of Events

Thursday, October 27, 2022

11:00am -12:00 pm Downsizing and Legacy

Where: Routsong Funeral Home

Speaker: Denise Swick/Gail Rubin

Event Synopsis: A conversation about downsizing with Denise Swick, Licensed Realtor with a new division devoted to senior relocation and downsizing consulting, and Gail Rubin, author of Kicking the Bucket List: 100 Downsizing and Organizing Things to Do Before You Die.

12:00pm- 1:30 Death Cafe

Where: Routsong Funeral Home

Facilitators: Gail Rubin, Death Cafe pioneer, Erika Knox, Funeral Director, Neil Fogarty, President, Dodds Memorials

Open Discussion/Answering your Questions

2:30-4:00 Being Mortal Documentary Viewing

Where: Ohio’s Hospice of Dayton

Speaker: Kim Vesey, President, Ohio’s Hospice of Dayton

Event Synopsis: Viewing of the PBS FRONTLINE documentary, Being Mortal

5:00pm-6:00pm Calvary Cemetery Evening Tour

Where: Calvary Cemetery

Speaker: Scott Wright

Event Synopsis: A historical look at the cemetery and the famous permanent residents there

6:00pm-6:30pm COVID Remembrance Moment

Where: Calvary Cemetery

Speaker: Neil Fogarty

Event Synopsis: Moment of remembrance for those passed

6:30pm-7:00pm Festival Kickoff

Where: Calvary Cemetery

Speaker: Neil Fogarty

Event Synopsis: Introduction to the Festival and background on Before I Die Festivals

7:00pm – 9:00pm Dia De Los Muertos Dinner

Where: Calvary Cemetery

Cater: La Catrina in Troy

Event Synopsis: Dinner – register for $20

Friday, October 28, 2022

10:00am-12:00pm Death Cafe

Where: Anderson Funeral Home

Facilitators: Gail Rubin, Rebekah Giuffre, Neil Fogarty

Open Discussion/Answering your Questions

12:30pm-1:30pm Anderson Celebration Center Tour

Where: Anderson Funeral Home

Speaker: Rebekah Giuffre

Event Synopsis: Behind-the-scenes tour of their center and crematory

2:30pm – 4:30 pm Woodland Cemetery Historical Tour

Where: Woodland Cemetery Dayton

Speaker: Angie Hoschouer

Event Synopsis: Historical tour of the grounds, one of the five oldest rural garden cemeteries in the US, and the resting places of famous individuals, including powered flight pioneers Wilbur and Orville Wright and humorist Irma Bombeck.

Saturday, October 29, 2022

Symposium
Where: Meyer Room University of Dayton Curran Building

8:30 am -9:00 am Registration

9:00 am – 9:15 am Welcome

9:15 am – 11:15 am Think you’re ready? Session 1- plan for the end then go on living

11:15 am – 12:00 pm Monumental Stories Presentation

12:00 pm – 1:00 pm Lunch

1:00 pm – 2:00 pm What you need to know about Hospice care

2:00pm – 3:30 pm Think you’re ready? Session 2 – Leaving a loving legacy to your family

3:30 pm – 4:00 pm Break

4:00 pm- 5:00 pm Living while Dying Documentary with Discussion

Half day registration $20, Full day registration $35

The sponsors of the Before I Die Festival Ohio

• Dodds Memorials
• Calvary Cemetery
• Ohio’s Hospice of Dayton
• Routsong Funeral Home and Cremation Services
• Swick Real Estate Group
• KeyBank
• University of Dayton Osher Lifelong Learning Institute
• Rock of Ages®
• Woodland Historic Cemetery & Arboretum
• Anderson Funeral Homes

The post On My Bucket List This Week: Dayton’s Before I Die Festival Ohio first appeared on A Good Goodbye.

The Doyenne of Death® podcast, hosted by pioneering death educator Gail Rubin, launches on Thursday, October 20, 2022. The podcast tackles end-of-life issues with a light touch on a dark subject. The first guest is Todd Harra, funeral director and author of LAST RITES: The Evolution of the American Funeral.

LAST RITES provides a fascinating look at the history of American funeral traditions: embalming, cremation, burial vaults, funeral gifts, mourning traditions, and much more. He also explores new developments, such as natural organic reduction (a.k.a. body composting), alkaline hydrolysis (water cremation), and death discussion movements.

The conversation is divided into two programs. In this first episode, Todd discusses these topics:

• The difference between coffins and caskets,
• How an ancient Roman funeral rite honoring ancestors morphed into today’s tradition of photo montages at memorial services,
• The importance of food, drink and gifts at funerals,
• Interesting stories of embalming,
• The evolution of military mortuary services and dog tags,
• How the person in the Tomb of the Unknown soldier was selected in World War I, and
• The surprising origin of pall bearers.

Todd Harra is a funeral director and embalmer with more than a decade of experience. He’s also the author or co-author of three nonfiction books about the profession: LAST RITES, Mortuary Confidential: Undertakers Spill the Dirt, and Over Our Dead Bodies: Undertakers Lift the Lid (Amazon affiliate links). He also authored the Tripp Clipper Undertaker mystery series, Grave Matters and Patient Zero. Learn more at his website: www.ToddHarra.com.

Listen to the conversation here, or through the YouTube video, or the embedded player below.

The Doyenne of Death® Podcast

New episodes of The Doyenne of Death® podcast will be released every Thursday. Episodes are available on the podcast playlist on YouTube as well as wherever you get your podcasts. Upcoming shows focus on Near Death Experiences (NDEs), the physical impacts of grief, facing our own mortality, and Greek Orthodox funeral traditions. Listen to Gail Rubin’s introduction to the series and subscribe here.

Gail Rubin is a Certified Thanatologist, a Certified Funeral Celebrant, an award-winning author and speaker, creator of The Newly-Dead Game® and five-time coordinator of the Before I Die New Mexico Festival.  Learn more about Gail Rubin, the podcast, and her work in death education.

The post Funeral Director Todd Harra Interviewed on First Doyenne of Death® Podcast first appeared on A Good Goodbye.

Who Plans the Memorial Service?

Dear Abby

In this Dear Abby column, the writer, Disappointed Griever, is appalled that a now-deceased friend’s adult sons want others to organize a memorial service for their father. Abby provides some great guidance.

DEAR ABBY: I have a friend who had been ill for some time. Three years ago, two of his adult sons moved in with him because they’d been kicked out of their mom’s house. They never got jobs or paid rent.

My friend died a month ago, and now his sons and “companion” want all of us who were his friends to organize a memorial service. They claim they “don’t know how to do this kind of thing.” My friend also has two adult daughters and three grandchildren.

Isn’t it the duty of the surviving family members to do this? While I wouldn’t mind providing a list of his friends and phone numbers, I feel the sons are lazy and exploitative, and I’m very uncomfortable being asked to form a group and do a job they should be doing. I’m not going to participate, and I wondered what you think. — DISAPPOINTED GRIEVER

DEAR GRIEVER: I think you are absolutely correct. The honor of giving your friend a loving and respectful sendoff belongs with his family. By all means provide a list of those who would like to pay their respects. And, while you’re at it, suggest the person who contacted you reach out to his father’s religious adviser or a local funeral home for guidance.

Their claim of not knowing how to do this kind of thing (funeral planning) is understandable, as so many people haven’t had to plan a funeral in their life. I agree with the letter writer that it sounds like the sons are lazy and exploitative. And yes, they should turn to a local funeral home, or perhaps engage the services of a local Certified Funeral Celebrant, to help them figure out a meaningful, memorable “good goodbye.”

And if you need a cremation urn, cremation jewelry, or keepsake urns, check out A Good Goodbye’s Urn Store. At this online shopping site, you’ll find a wide selection of quality products, the same ones that funeral homes purchase. You can place your order through the secure site, or call 888-317-3099 and speak with a live person.

The post Who’s Supposed to Plan a Memorial Service Anyway? first appeared on A Good Goodbye.

The Albuquerque Death Cafe was to take place at Historic Fairview Cemetery this Sunday, October 16, to discuss death among the tombstones. However, the weather forecast is cold and rainy (rare for Albuquerque). We will instead hold it online through Zoom and stay warm and dry at home.

The objective of the Death Cafe is “to increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives.” It’s an interesting, unstructured conversation with no specific agenda. The ABQ Death Cafe offers a relaxed, confidential and safe setting to discuss death, drink tea (or your favorite beverage) and eat delicious cake or cookies. Now that the event is online, please bring your own refreshments.

To RSVP and get the Zoom link for this event, join the ABQ Death Cafe Meetup Group here. Learn more about Death Cafes here.

Your Death Cafe Host

All of these Albuquerque Death Cafes are hosted by Gail Rubin, Certified Thanatologist, and a pioneering death educator. Rubin is a public speaker, a published author of three books, host of a TV interview series and podcast, a blogger, a funeral industry trade journalist, a Certified Funeral Celebrant, and an innovator in the funeral business.

She created a conversation-starting game called The Newly-Dead Game®, introduced the Death Café movement in the United States, and held the first Before I Die Festival west of the Mississippi in 2017. Albuquerque Business First named her one of their 2019 Women of Influence.

Her YouTube channel, @GailRubin, features a range of videos about the funeral business, with playlists focused on Tools of the Trade, videos from Historic Fairview Cemetery, and sessions from the Before I Die New Mexico Festival.

The post In-Person Death Cafe Changed to Online This Sunday first appeared on A Good Goodbye.

Before I Die Ohio Festival Registration Now Open!

The first Before I Die Ohio Festival will take place October 27-29, 2022 in Dayton, Ohio. This series of events offers upbeat activities to think about, talk about, and do something about our inevitable mortality. Activities include Death Cafe conversations, field trips to cemeteries, funeral homes and crematoria, movies, panel discussions, and a wide range of speakers.

While most events are free, registration is encouraged. Events that include food have charges ranging from $20 to $35.

Gail Rubin, The Doyenne of Death and Death Cafe host.

Gail Rubin, Certified Thanatologist and The Doyenne of Death®, is a special guest speaker at the Before I Die Ohio Festival. A pioneer of the Death Cafe movement in the United States, she will facilitate these supportive discussions of mortality issues at Death Cafes on October 27 at Routsong Funeral Home & Cremation Services, 2100 E. Stroop Road, Kettering, OH, and October 28 at one of the Anderson Funeral Homes locations in the Dayton area.

Gail will also emcee her conversation-starter The Newly-Dead Game® the evening of October 28. The couples quiz about how well they know each others’ end-of-life wishes is part of the Death, Drafts and Directors event at Jimmie Ladder 11, a firehouse converted to a tavern located at 936 Brown St, Dayton, OH. She will also speak on panel discussions about downsizing and planning ahead for end-of-life issues.

“Just as talking about sex won’t make you pregnant, talking about funerals won’t make you dead,” said Rubin. “The Before I Die Ohio Festival will help people have important conversations about end-of-life issues and plan ahead for our 100% mortality rate. And you’ll have fun doing it! Register today for this incredible event.”

Here’s the full schedule of events at the Before I Die Ohio Festival.

Thursday, October 27, 2022

11:00am -12:00 pm Downsizing and Legacy

Where: Routsong Funeral Home

Speaker: Denise Swick/Gail Rubin

Event Synopsis: A conversation about downsizing with Denise Swick, Licensed Realtor with a new division devoted to senior relocation and downsizing consulting, and Gail Rubin, author of Kicking the Bucket List: 100 Downsizing and Organizing Things to Do Before You Die.

12:00pm- 1:30 Death Cafe

Where: Routsong Funeral Home

Facilitators: Gail Rubin, Death Cafe pioneer, Erika Knox, Funeral Director, Neil Fogarty, President, Dodds Memorials

Open Discussion/Answering your Questions

2:30-4:00 Being Mortal Documentary Viewing

Where: Ohio’s Hospice of Dayton

Speaker: Kim Vesey, President, Ohio’s Hospice of Dayton

Event Synopsis: Viewing of the PBS FRONTLINE documentary

5:00pm-6:00pm Calvary Cemetery Evening Tour

Where: Calvary Cemetery

Speaker: Scott Wright

Event Synopsis: A historical look at the cemetery and the famous permanent residents there

6:00pm-6:30pm COVID Remembrance Moment

Where: Calvary Cemetery

Speaker: Neil Fogarty

Event Synopsis: Moment of remembrance for those passed

6:30pm-7:00pm Festival Kickoff

Where: Calvary Cemetery

Speaker: Neil Fogarty

Event Synopsis: Introduction to the Festival and background on Before I Die Festivals

7:00pm – 9:00pm Dia De Los Muertos Dinner

Where: Calvary Cemetery

Cater: La Catrina in Troy

Event Synopsis: Dinner – register for $20

Friday, October 28, 2022

10:00am-12:00pm Death Cafe

Where: Anderson Funeral Home

Facilitators: Gail Rubin, Rebekah Giuffre, Neil Fogarty

Open Discussion/Answering your Questions

12:30pm-1:30pm Anderson Celebration Center Tour

Where: Anderson Funeral Home

Speaker: Rebekah Giuffre

Event Synopsis: Behind-the-scenes tour of their center and crematory

2:30pm – 4:30 pm Woodland Cemetery Historical Tour

Where: Woodland Cemetery Dayton

Speaker: Angie Hoschouer

Event Synopsis: Historical tour of the grounds, one of the five oldest rural garden cemeteries in the US, and the resting places of famous individuals, including powered flight pioneers Wilbur and Orville Wright and humorist Irma Bombeck.

7:00 pm -8:30pm Death, Drafts and Directors

Where: Jimmie Ladder 11

Panelists: Abby Snider-Robinson, Brian Sarver, Erika Knox

Event Synopsis: Question and Answer with Panel

Number of Max attendees: 50 – Register for $20

8:30pm – 9:30 pm The Newly Dead Game®

Where: Jimmie Ladder 11

Host: Gail Rubin

Event Synopsis: Game with couples focused on end of life planning

Included with registration for Death, Drafts and Directors 

Saturday, October 29, 2022

Symposium
Where: Meyer Room University of Dayton Curran Building

8:30 am -9:00 am Registration

9:00 am – 9:15 am Welcome

9:15 am – 11:15 am Think you’re ready? Session 1- plan for the end then go on living

11:15 am – 12:00 pm Monumental Stories Presentation

12:00 pm – 1:00 pm Lunch

1:00 pm – 2:00 pm What you need to know about Hospice care

2:00pm – 3:30 pm Think you’re ready? Session 2 – Leaving a loving legacy to your family

3:30 pm – 4:00 pm Break

4:00 pm- 5:00 pm Living while Dying Documentary with Discussion

Half day registration $20, Full day registration $35

The sponsors of the Before I Die Ohio Festival:

• Dodds Memorials
• Calvary Cemetery
• Ohio’s Hospice of Dayton
• Routsong Funeral Home and Cremation Services
• Swick Real Estate Group
• KeyBank
• University of Dayton Osher Lifelong Learning Institute
• Rock of Ages®
• Woodland Historic Cemetery & Arboretum
• Anderson Funeral Homes

The post Register Now for the Before I Die Ohio Festival first appeared on A Good Goodbye.

How is a casket is lowered into the grave in a conventional cemetery burial? Watch this video.

A team of two workers for the cemetery remove the supports under the casket, allowing the weight of the casket to be supported by the green lowering straps. The metal framework around the grave has poles that rotate, allowing the straps to extend downward, lowering the casket into the grave.

Once the casket touches the earth, the straps are pulled out from underneath and rewound on the poles. The team removes the metal framework before the completion of the funeral service.

This example is typical of burial in a conventional cemetery. In a green burial, often individuals with hand-held ropes or straps lower biodegradable caskets into a shallower grave in a green or hybrid cemetery. There is often more hands-on involvement by the family in a green burial setting.

Do Your Homework

The functions of the funeral home and funeral director are separate from the work of the cemetery. Very often, a funeral and burial are done by two separate companies. Many folks who choose burial don’t know that both the funeral home and the cemetery will charge separately for their services, and the total can add up to much more than a family anticipates.

Visit this blog post for a free checklist of 20 questions to have answered BEFORE a loved one dies. You’ll find this makes a tough job much easier, not if but when there’s a death in the family.

If you want to make a funeral or memorial service truly memorable, use a Certified Funeral Celebrant. If you live in New Mexico, check out Gail Rubin’s Celebrant Page for examples of personalized memorial services. Gail trained through the InSight Institute’s Celebrant Program and has conducted numerous memorial services and funerals.

The post Casket Lowering in a Conventional Cemetery Burial first appeared on A Good Goodbye.

Helen Fuller

Helen Fuller’s fortunate life drew to a close on August 25, 2022, at age 89. She died peacefully surrounded by family a few weeks after falling and breaking a hip while hiking.

She got her start in Denison, Texas, the second daughter of Walter Greene and Willie Rice Langston on March 19, 1933. Describing her early childhood she said, “We were loved. And we had everything.” Both of her parents died when she was 13, her mother at age 49 from breast cancer and her father from a stroke. She and her sister Billye, a year and a half older than Helen, were very close. They went to live with an elderly aunt and uncle in nearby Sherman, Texas.

Her father owned a bakery. As a child, Helen would take her friends there and invite them to have as many cookies as they wanted. She remembers going up and down the street with her father as he visited and told jokes to fellow businesspeople. She credits her father for her love of making people laugh by saying funny things and being silly.

When her mother bought a sewing machine, Helen took sewing lessons. She became quite an accomplished seamstress, sewing most of her clothing, her prom dresses, and her wedding gown.

As a student at Baylor University, she studied math with a minor in physics. She met her future husband Jack Fuller in a chemistry class. He was intrigued by the uncaged pet rat she brought to class.

She had to have someone who was as smart as she was and appreciated her intellect. She married Jack on August 23, 1953, two days after graduating from college at the age of 20. They were married for more than 60 years until Jack’s death in 2015.

Helen and Jack lived in Baton Rouge while he pursued a PhD. She worked as a math teacher and did taxes for an accountant. They moved back to Waco for a couple years. Jack taught Physics at Baylor while Helen stayed home with baby Lori.

“I was determined that I was going to have my kids out of the house by the time I turned 49, the age my mother died,” she said. She had her own bout with breast cancer at age 81, but it was caught early and successfully treated.

In 1959, the family moved to Los Alamos where Karen was born. Helen’s sister Billye and her husband were already living there, making it easier to settle in. She was home with the girls as well as being active in AAUW and League of Women Voters.

Later, she went to work at Los Alamos Scientific Laboratory. With her math degree they trained her in computer science. She was one of two women doing technical work in her area at the lab. She enjoyed and excelled at her work at the labs doing computer programming and security, selection and acquisition of computers, database management, data analysis, and training users. When she started, she was working on room-sized mainframes programmed with large punch card decks. When she retired after 20 years, she was working with PCs and small computer servers.

In Los Alamos, Helen hosted many dinner parties with other lab scientists. The evenings were filled with interesting conversations and her wonderful food. When she cooked for her family, her chile rellenos, deep-fried French toast and chocolate meringue pie were some of their favorites.

With Jack’s encouragement, she learned to fly a 4-seater plane. She was only scared when she soloed the first time. They were active in a flying club which owned two airplanes.

Helen Fuller hiking the Sandia Mountain foothils.

Helen loved to travel the world with Jack, starting with their honeymoon when they spontaneously decided to travel instead of staying in one place. As a family they travelled extensively by car and small plane: Canada, Europe, Hawaii, New England, and many national parks. After their daughters left home, they travelled to Egypt, New Zealand, Newfoundland, the Galapagos … Their last trip together before Jack died in 2015 was a hiking trip in Iceland.

She enjoyed attending performances of plays, operas, and classical music. She led an active life, leavened with chocolate. Helen’s favorite sporting activities were running, tennis, skiing, golf, and hiking. When asked for advice on aging she said, “Exercise, exercise, exercise (It worked for me).” She was still playing golf and hiking at 89.

She loved clouds. She looked for shapes and changing colors. Her favorite place to sit was the kitchen table where she could see Sandia Mountain and the foothills. She watched the colors change at sunset, the rising moon, and her beloved clouds.

Helen is survived by her daughters Karen Blossom, married to Dave Ruelli, and Lori Fuller, married to Martha Coder. She is also survived by her sister Billye Head and Billye’s children, Leslie, Stuart, and Linda.

Helen was a supporter of the League of Women Voters. She recognized the importance of being an informed voter and advocated for exercising your right to vote. She also was a staunch supporter of abortion rights. To honor Helen’s memory, use your right to vote this year to support those candidates who defend women’s right to choose safe accessible healthcare services.

A Memorial Service will be held at noon September 30th, 2022, at Tanoan Country Club’s Sandia Grill. In lieu of flowers, please consider contributing to Roadrunner® Food Bank, New Mexico PBS, arts organizations, AAUW and/or Planned Parenthood.

The service will be conducted by Certified Funeral Celebrant Gail Rubin.

The post Obituary for Helen Fuller first appeared on A Good Goodbye.

A Funeral Fit For A Queen

The announcement of today’s death of Queen Elizabeth will put in motion funeral plans that have been in place for decades. It will be an enormous undertaking (no pun intended). What is being done for the Queen’s funeral, and for the benefit of your family, how can you do the same?

Have a Plan in Place

• Operation London Bridge is the name of the plan to be followed upon the death of Queen Elizabeth II. It includes how the announcement of her death will be handled, the official mourning period, and the details of her state funeral.

Funeral Elements

• The details to be implemented are many. In the 2007 film The Queen, after Diana, “The People’s Princess,” dies in a car accident in Paris, the Royal Family is thrown into uncharted territory for holding a funeral for an Ex-Royal. Diana’s public funeral was based on Tambridge, the code name for The Queen Mother’s eventual funeral plans. It’s the only one that had been rehearsed and could be put together within a week’s time. Read more about the film and the true story here.

Write the Obituary

• The Queen’s life is being told by the news media in many different ways. Most ordinary mortals will need to rely on paying for a death notice in the newspaper. What do your loved ones know about your life? You might want to start writing your own life story.

Invite Guests

• The Queen’s funeral will be an invitation-only affair. Who would need to be invited to yours? It helps to have a list of family and friends put together, either on paper or in a digital file. Revisit that list to update phone numbers, emails, mailing addresses and whether the person is still alive. Check out The Family Plot File as a helpful tool.

Plan the Party

• Of course there will be food and drink after the Queen’s funeral. What would you like for yours? Make a list of your favorite foods, music, and drinks. Go ahead, celebrate your life while you’re still alive!

Figure Out the Finances

• The Royal Family doesn’t have to worry about how to pay for the funeral. How about your family? This is why people get life insurance. If you don’t have the savings in the bank, a final expense insurance policy helps cover the expenses of a funeral, which can range from $10,000 to $20,000 and more. If you are in New Mexico and want to find out more, call Gail Rubin at 505-265-7215.

Gail Rubin’s book, A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die, has all of the details to plan a funeral fit for a queen or a king. Do yourself a favor and get a copy today.

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