The 2024 Before I Die New Mexico Festival took place November 1 through 4 in different locations around Albuquerque. The fourth day’s topics focused on the theme of Unexpected Deaths. Presentations provided enlightenment on the Bernalillo County Unclaimed Indigent Cremation Program, the Office of the Medical Investigator (OMI) in New Mexico, Medical Aid in Dying (MAID) in New Mexico, advance funeral planning, and an interactive session titled, “Your Clock is Ticking: Are You Ready?” Here are the videos of speakers and activities from that day.

Bernalillo County Unclaimed Indigent Cremation/Burial Program

Diane R. Chavez, Operations Manager for the Bernalillo County Indigent Program, explains how the program works. She talked about topics which included:

1. Details about Bernalillo County’s Unclaimed/Indigent Cremation Program.
2. How Unclaimed Decent cases are initiated.
3. Legal Next of Kin order of decision making precedence.
4. The timeframe the county holds on to veterans’ and citizens’ cremated remains.
5. Bernalillo County’s Unclaimed/Indigent Burial Service for veterans and county citizens.

Learn more at https://www.bernco.gov/general-services/about-the-program/.

Introducing New Mexico’s Office of the Medical Investigator (OMI)

Lauren Dvorscak, MD, Deputy Chief of New Mexico’s Office of the Medical Investigator (OMI), and Veronica Tovar, Supervisor for Decedent Affairs, explain what the OMI does and how the public interacts with the office. At the Before I Die Festival, they talked about topics which included:

1. How the OMI investigates unexpected, unexplained or unattended deaths across New Mexico, helping to determine the cause and manner of death.
2. The public health trends that impact public safety and health policies.
3. Steps to take, such as planning and talking to family about end-of-life wishes, to help reduce stress during unexpected deaths.
4. The misunderstandings caused by expectations generated by inaccuracies in television CSI programs.
5. How OMI workers maintain a healthy balance in life and work.

Learn more at https://hsc.unm.edu/omi/.

End of Life Options New Mexico on Medical Aid in Dying (MAID)

Representatives of End of Life Options New Mexico (EOLONM) presented details about accessing Medical Aid in Dying (MAID) in the state. The presenters are Sherry Burns, Deborah Dugan and Leah Becker. In addition to talking about the services that End of Life Options New Mexico provides, they did a reenactment of three steps in the process of accessing MAID.

This included: An initial meeting with a client and an EOLONM volunteer where eligibility was determined, an initial meeting between a prescriber and the client, including an assessment of the client’s health and prognosis, a recreation of a MAID ingestion. The team also fielded questions from the audience.

Here are some helpful websites regarding MAID: https://endoflifeoptionsnm.org/ https://rightsofpassage.org/ https://compassionandchoices.org/

Advance Funeral Planning with Karla Barela Lucero of French Funerals & Cremations

Karla Barela Lucero, Advance Planning Consultant with French Funerals & Cremations, talks about about the benefits of advance funeral planning. Among the topics she covers:

1. When someone dies, there are more than 100 things that need to be done, decisions to be made and information to be gathered. Planning ahead helps reduce the stress and makes these jobs easier.
2. Information to be gathered includes vital statistics for the death certificate, accounts and beneficiaries, emergency contacts, military records, disposition preferences, and special instructions.
3. Reasons to plan ahead.
4. Financial reasons and insurance vehicles for paying ahead for funeral plans.
5. Out of area protection that ensures the return of a body should a death occur more than 75 miles from your hometown.

For more information, visit https://www.frenchfunerals.com/preplanning.

Your Clock Is Ticking: Are You Ready?

Kathy Dempsey and Kimberly Harms present an interactive workshop on unexpected death and how you can respond and prepare for it. Among the topics they explored are:

1. The importance of releasing attachments to roles, things and beliefs.
2. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’ Five Stages of Grief compared to Kathy Dempsey’s Five Stages of Shedding.
3. Steps one can take to address being stuck, taking action and feeling fear.
4. Energy and awareness management.
5. The tasks of mourning and ways to process and manage pain, anger, anxiety, depression and despair.
6. Tips to manage depression and despair after an unexpected death.
7. A guided meditation for attendees to ponder their own death.

For more information, visit these websites: Kathy Dempsey: https://www.keepshedding.com/ Kim Harms: https://www.drkimberlyharms.com/

Thank You to Before I Die Festival Sponsors

The 2024 Before I Die New Mexico Festival featured entertaining and educational elements that get people to discuss end-of-life issues and plan ahead. Most sessions were recorded and posted on YouTube. Each day of the Festival had a theme: November 1 – Eco-Friendly Funerals.  November 2 – Hospice 101 and MAID.  November 3 – Planning for the Inevitable. November 4 – Unexpected Deaths.

The Before I Die New Mexico Festival is made possible by the support of:

• A Good Goodbye: https://agoodgoodbye.com/
• Bernalillo County Indigent Program: https://www.bernco.gov/general-services/about-the-program/
• Better Place Forests: https://betterplaceforests.com/
• Bosque Trails Hospice: https://bosquetrailshospice.com/
• Conscious Crossroads End-of-Life Services: https://deathdouladanielle.com/
• Death Doula Professionals: https://deathdoulaprofessionals.com/
• End of Life Options New Mexico: https://endoflifeoptionsnm.org/
• French Funerals & Cremations: https://frenchfunerals.com/
• Keeper Memorials: https://mykeeper.com/
• Passages International: https://www.passagesinternational.com/

The post Before I Die Festival Day Four Videos on Unexpected Death first appeared on A Good Goodbye.

The 2024 Before I Die New Mexico Festival took place November 1 through 4 in different locations around Albuquerque. The third day’s topics focused on the theme of Planning for the Inevitable: end-of-life preparation, working with death doulas, downsizing, and living funerals. The day’s presentations took place at the offices of Death Doula Professionals and Conscious Crossroads End-of-Life Services. Here are the videos of speakers and activities from that day.

Getting Ready to Go with Dr. Kimberly Harms

Dr. Kimberly Harms speaks on Let’s Get Ready! Everything You Need to Know Before You Go. She talked about topics which included:

1. The best predictors of happiness and long life.
2. How to build a positive legacy of love.
3. What you need to do to get your affairs in order.
4. Ways to start an end-of-life conversation with family members.
5. What needs to be included in a legacy/end-of-life binder.
6. The importance of creating a will or trust.
7. Writing a letter of intent, your funeral plans, and your own obituary.

Planning for Peace with Death Doulas

Death doulas Danielle Slupesky with Conscious Crossroads End-of-Life Services and Brooke Nutting with Death Doula Professionals speak about how death doulas help people achieve a peaceful death. They talked about topics which included:

1. How death doulas work with hospices.
2. The wide range of services and activities that death doulas do.
3. How to personalize ceremony and ritual around dying.
4. Home funeral options.
5. Understanding advance medical directives.
6. How Medical Aid in Dying (MAID) impacts both patients and their families.
7. Ways that death doulas get training and hands-on experience.

Before I Die Downsizing Panel Discussion: Shed Before You’re Dead!

This panel discussion about downsizing provides insights about the challenges of letting go of stuff. The panelists are: Miriam Ortiz Y Pino, More Than Organized;  Kathy Dempsey, Keep Shedding, Inc.; Kimberly Harms, How to Build a Legacy to Die For; and Gail Rubin, A Good Goodbye. They talked about topics which included:

1. Our stuff as an extension of our selves.
2. Fear of letting go of something really valuable.
3. Taking digital photos of objects that can then be let go.
4. Aging in place considerations.
5. A prescription for change.

Kathy Dempsey on Would You Hold a Living Funeral for Yourself?

Kathy Dempsey, RN, MED, CSP and death doula, presents “Would You Hold a Living Funeral for Yourself?” She talked about topics which included:

1. The Ron Story – about her husband’s decline and celebration of his life.
2. 10 reasons you might want to have a living funeral.
3. 10 reasons you might NOT want to have a living funeral.
4. How to determine the right time to hold such an event.
5. The Bob Pike Story – how a living funeral was put together with hundreds of people participating in person and online.

Thank You to Before I Die Festival Sponsors

The 2024 Before I Die New Mexico Festival featured entertaining and educational elements that get people to discuss end-of-life issues and plan ahead. Most sessions were recorded and posted on YouTube. Each day of the Festival had a theme: November 1 – Eco-Friendly Funerals.  November 2 – Hospice 101 and MAID.  November 3 – Planning for the Inevitable. November 4 – Unexpected Deaths.

The Before I Die New Mexico Festival is made possible by the support of:

• A Good Goodbye: https://agoodgoodbye.com/
• Bernalillo County Indigent Program: https://www.bernco.gov/general-services/about-the-program/
• Better Place Forests: https://betterplaceforests.com/
• Bosque Trails Hospice: https://bosquetrailshospice.com/
• Conscious Crossroads End-of-Life Services: https://deathdouladanielle.com/
• Death Doula Professionals: https://deathdoulaprofessionals.com/
• End of Life Options New Mexico: https://endoflifeoptionsnm.org/
• French Funerals & Cremations: https://frenchfunerals.com/
• Keeper Memorials: https://mykeeper.com/
• Passages International: https://www.passagesinternational.com/

The post Before I Die Festival Day Three Videos on Planning for Death first appeared on A Good Goodbye.

The 2024 Before I Die New Mexico Festival took place November 1 through 4 in different locations around Albuquerque. The second day focused on hospice, Medical Aid in Dying (MAID), grief insights, advance medical directives, and veterans benefits. The day’s presentations took place at the headquarters of Bosque Trails Hospice. Here are the videos of speakers and activities from that day.

Hospice 101 and MAID

Rachel Rankin, MD, Medical Director and co-owner of Bosque Trails Hospice, and Erin FitzGerald, DO, also Medical Director of Bosque Trails Hospice, talk about hospice and Medical Aid In Dying (MAID) in New Mexico. Both are Board Certified in Hospice and Palliative Medicine. They answered questions and discussed topics including:

• What is hospice?
• What insurance covers hospice and MAID?
• What role do volunteers play in hospice care?
• Why are there more women in the hospice field than men?
• How is Medical Aid In Dying provided in New Mexico?
• Can people come from other states to access it here?
• What is the difference between MAID and euthanasia?
• Do hospices work with death doulas?

Six Hospice Stories by Gail Rubin

Gail Rubin, Certified Thanatologist, The Doyenne of Death, and Before I Die NM Festival Coordinator, speaks about six deaths on hospice that she has experienced with family and friends.

Grief Insights from Beyond the Veil with Psychic Tammy Holmes

Noted psychic Tammy Holmes started by speaking on what our deceased loved ones want us to know about grieving, then took questions from the audience. Points she made and topics discussed included:

• We have a contract when we are born on Earth, a school where we learn lessons we need to evolve. We can learn through joy or through pain.
• Do not get stuck in grief or let others tell you how to grieve. It is important to do the work of grieving, crying, journaling, feeling the pain, and getting through it. There’s no “right” way to grieve.
• Let go of guilty “coulda, shoulda” thoughts. People die when it’s their time.
• There is no hell, but there are 72 levels of heaven. People who are “bad” go to lower levels of heaven.
• We don’t die, we change form to spirit energy. Our loved ones do hang around for up to a year and send signals letting us know everything is okay.
• Have a daily practice to connect to Source, and hand over your troubles to that higher source. It will help smooth your road through life.
• Value and take care of yourself. What you bring to the world is unique, and we all have a contract to fulfill that we agreed to when we chose to be incarnated on Earth.

Veterans Health, Funeral and Burial Benefits Explained

Tim Avila with the Albuquerque Veterans Affairs Hospital, Office of Decedent Affairs, talked about topics which included:

• Veterans funeral and burial benefits for those who are honorably discharged.
• The importance of the DD214 form and knowing where a veteran keeps it.
• Issues for gay and transgender service members in VA health care.
• The Aid and Attendance program for veterans to get help at home.
• Life insurance through the VA.
• The role hospice social workers can play in navigating the VA system.
• How to apply for a national cemetery burial plot or cremation niche.
• Working with funeral homes for military honors.
• Bereavement counseling services through the VA.

The Five Wishes and NM MOST Forms

Bosque Trails Hospice social workers Natalie Chavez and Kim Montgomery reviewed the details of the Five Wishes form and the New Mexico MOST form (Medical Orders for Scope of Treatment). They talked about topics which included:

• The Five Wishes include advance medical directives as well as medical, emotional and spiritual preferences for a patient.
• Choose a person to speak on your behalf when you can no longer communicate.
• Keep paperwork updated and destroy old documents – and update the public record if they were recorded.
• For those choosing cremation, have you filed a cremation authorization form?
• The importance of creating an information binder.
• Reviewing the details in the New Mexico MOST form (Medical Orders for Scope of Treatment).
• The importance of reviewing documents every five years or sooner with changes in health or relationship status.

Thank You to Before I Die Festival Sponsors

The 2024 Before I Die New Mexico Festival featured entertaining and educational elements that get people to discuss end-of-life issues and plan ahead. Most sessions were recorded and posted on YouTube. Each day of the Festival had a theme: November 1 – Eco-Friendly Funerals.  November 2 – Hospice 101 and MAID.  November 3 – Planning for the Inevitable. November 4 – Unexpected Deaths.

The Before I Die New Mexico Festival is made possible by the support of:

• A Good Goodbye: https://agoodgoodbye.com/
• Bernalillo County Indigent Program: https://www.bernco.gov/general-services/about-the-program/
• Better Place Forests: https://betterplaceforests.com/
• Bosque Trails Hospice: https://bosquetrailshospice.com/
• Conscious Crossroads End-of-Life Services: https://deathdouladanielle.com/
• Death Doula Professionals: https://deathdoulaprofessionals.com/
• End of Life Options New Mexico: https://endoflifeoptionsnm.org/
• French Funerals & Cremations: https://frenchfunerals.com/
• Keeper Memorials: https://mykeeper.com/
• Passages International: https://www.passagesinternational.com/

The post Before I Die Festival Day Two Videos on Hospice and More first appeared on A Good Goodbye.

Rhan Choudhry, founder and CEO of Chptr

I recently had the opportunity to talk with Rehan Choudry, founder and CEO of Chptr. We discussed how his company provides a unique communications service of value for families and funeral homes.

What is Chptr and what services do you provide?

Chptr is a B2B platform that connects community storytelling with local broadcast media. We specialize in creating, distributing, and broadcasting memorials and death notices. Our platform helps funeral homes share these stories with their communities through trusted media outlets.

So Chptr provides a bridge for obituary news between funeral homes and broadcast media in their local markets?

Yes, Chptr serves as a bridge by allowing funeral homes to seamlessly share obituaries and memorial content with broadcast media in their local markets. This creates a streamlined process where meaningful stories reach a broader audience, ensuring community members can stay informed about important life events.

Can individual families utilize your services?

My core belief is that the funeral director is a critically necessary part of the equation for the bereaved. As such, we have built Chptr to primarily operate through partnerships with funeral homes. Through our partners, families can share personal stories with their communities in a meaningful and professional way. That said, we will always help a family if they come to us directly, but will often recommend one of our partner funeral homes.

Weddings and funerals are the two biggest life cycle events. How do you work with both kinds of events?

We create tailored solutions for both weddings and funerals. For weddings, we partner with venues and planners to produce celebratory announcements for local broadcast media. For funerals, we collaborate with funeral homes to broadcast personalized memorials, ensuring that stories of loved ones are respectfully shared with the community. At their core, both forms of storytelling are remarkably similar, though clearly under very different circumstances. We tailor our service approach to the bereaved to ensure extra care is given, but other (non-EOL) audiences benefit from that extra attention.

Map of USA locations with Chptr.

What broadcasters and funeral/cremation companies is Chptr currently working with? How many markets are currently involved?

We are actively collaborating with Sinclair Broadcast, Gray Television, Hearst, The Boston Globe, InsideNOVA, the Local Media Consortium, and many more. On the EOL side, we are partnered with incredible organizations like Foundation Partners, and are connected to over 400 funeral homes nationwide.

How did you come up with this business idea?

The idea for Chptr emerged from recognizing the need for better storytelling around life’s major events. I discovered this need by watching my wife, an Emmy-Award winning news anchor in New York City, tell the stories of the early COVID victims in New York. We saw an opportunity to modernize how memorials and celebrations are shared by bridging the gap between families, local businesses, and trusted media outlets in their communities.

What feedback have you received from families and funeral homes who have used Chptr’s services?

The response has been overwhelmingly positive. Families appreciate having a meaningful platform to honor loved ones, while funeral homes find value in extending their services beyond traditional memorial formats. Funeral homes benefit in a big way from the additional reach they get by having their logo on broadcasted death notices. Media partners recognize the importance of sharing these personal stories with their audiences.

What are your goals for Chptr?

Our primary goal is to help as many bereaved communities as we can and, in the process, become the leading platform for life-event storytelling in local communities. We aim to expand our market presence, strengthen partnerships with media outlets and life-event businesses, and enhance our platform’s features to better serve families and communities.

What else should people know about Chptr?

We have built an incredible video solution that can help support individuals, families, and businesses in ways we haven’t begun scratching the surface on. We are always open to having creative conversations with people to see how Chptr can better support them. It’s the benefit of being an early startup — we can be incredibly nimble and creative in the ways we partner.

For more details, read this story in Kates Boylston’s Funeral Service Insider.

Author Gail Rubin, pioneering death educator, Certified Thanatologist and The Doyenne of Death, hosts the TV series Mortality Movies.

The post Chptr Brings Life-Affirming Obituaries to Local Broadcast TV Stations first appeared on A Good Goodbye.

Learn About Better Place Forests

Jessica Wakefield with Better Place Forests

Jessica Wakefield, CFSP, Director of Partnerships, Community & Education with Better Place Forests, talks to Before I Die New Mexico Festival participants about their memorial forests. The company offers eco-friendly memorial options for placement of cremated remains and natural organic reduction compost at conservation forests in California, the Midwest, the Northeast and the Southwest.

The company works with death doulas as well as funeral homes to make arrangements for people to spread cremated remains beneath their own memorial trees in a protected forest. Learn how these dedicated final resting places in nature are taking off with cremation customers and how you can participate.

About the Before I Die New Mexico Festival

How do we as individuals and as a society manage death and dying? Before I Die Festivals start important conversations in an upbeat manner.

We’re all going to die, yet less than 30% of adults do any end-of-life planning. No wills or trusts, no advance medical directives and no pre-need funeral planning. That means 70% of our loved ones will scramble to get information and make expensive decisions while grieving a death.

It’s better to talk about our wishes well before death becomes a grim reality and our loved ones can be informed.

The 2024 Before I Die New Mexico Festival took place November 1-4 at a different location each day in Albuquerque, NM. The festival features entertaining and educational elements that get people to discuss end-of-life issues and plan ahead. Most sessions are being posted on YouTube. You can view videos of sessions from the current festival as well as past festivals at the video page at BeforeIDieFestivals.com.

Each day of the Festival had a theme:

• November 1 – Eco-Friendly Funerals
• November 2 – Hospice 101 and MAID
• November 3 – Planning for the Inevitable
• November 4 – Unexpected Deaths

View the full schedule of events to see which sessions and topics were carried on Zoom.

Thank You to Before I Die Festival Sponsors

The Before I Die New Mexico Festival is made possible by the support of:

• A Good Goodbye: https://agoodgoodbye.com/
• Bernalillo County Indigent Program: https://www.bernco.gov/general-services/about-the-program/
• Better Place Forests: https://betterplaceforests.com/
• Bosque Trails Hospice: https://bosquetrailshospice.com/
• Conscious Crossroads End-of-Life Services: https://deathdouladanielle.com/
• Death Doula Professionals: https://deathdoulaprofessionals.com/
• End of Life Options New Mexico: https://endoflifeoptionsnm.org/
• French Funerals & Cremations: https://frenchfunerals.com/
• Keeper Memorials: https://mykeeper.com/
• Passages International: https://www.passagesinternational.com/

The post Video: Better Place Forests Offers Eco-Friendly Funeral Options first appeared on A Good Goodbye.

Darren Crouch, President and CEO of Passages International, talks to Before I Die New Mexico Festival participants about consumer trends toward making funerals more eco-friendly. Since 1999, Passages has provided biodegradable, sustainable and eco-friendly funeral products to funeral homes in the U.S. and internationally. Passages hosted the first day of the Before I Die New Mexico Festival at their headquarters in Albuquerque, NM.

Watch the video to learn about:

• Changes in funeral consumer preferences.
• The growing interest in green burial.
• The challenges cremation poses and greener cremation alternatives.
• Fair Trade practices and Green Burial Council certification.
• Biodegradable urns and scatter tubes.
• Creating meaningful memorial experiences.
• Passages’ Etern.Life geotagging program for mapping placements and memorials for cremated remains.

About the Before I Die New Mexico Festival

The 2024 Before I Die New Mexico Festival took place November 1-4 at a different location each day in Albuquerque, NM. The festival features entertaining and educational elements that get people to discuss end-of-life issues and plan ahead. Most sessions are being posted on YouTube and available at the video page on the festival website, www.BeforeIDieFestivals.com. Gail Rubin, The Doyenne of Death, is the coordinator of the festival.

Each day of the Festival had a theme:

• November 1 – Eco-Friendly Funerals
• November 2 – Hospice 101 and MAID (Medical Aid In Dying)
• November 3 – Planning for the Inevitable
• November 4 – Unexpected Deaths

View the full schedule of events to see which sessions and topics were carried on Zoom. They will become available as YouTube videos. Video of the 2024 festival preview event, Millennial Morticians with ABQ Brews: Death Doula Edition, is also currently available.

Thank You to Before I Die Festival Sponsors

The Before I Die New Mexico Festival is made possible by the support of:

• A Good Goodbye: https://agoodgoodbye.com/
• Bernalillo County Indigent Program: https://www.bernco.gov/general-services/about-the-program/
• Better Place Forests: https://betterplaceforests.com/
• Bosque Trails Hospice: https://bosquetrailshospice.com/
• Conscious Crossroads End-of-Life Services: https://deathdouladanielle.com/
• Death Doula Professionals: https://deathdoulaprofessionals.com/
• End of Life Options New Mexico: https://endoflifeoptionsnm.org/
• French Funerals & Cremations: https://frenchfunerals.com/
• Keeper Memorials: https://mykeeper.com/
• Passages International: https://www.passagesinternational.com/

The post Video: Learn About Eco-Friendly Funerals with Passages International first appeared on A Good Goodbye.

Ruth Rubin was my mother. As a Certified Funeral Celebrant, I was honored to write her obituary and create this graveside service for her. Here is my script for the service, so you can see the elements of Recognize, Remember, Reaffirm and Release that comprise every good funeral or memorial service.

Music (Adonai Li)

Welcome. We just listened to Adonai Li, the High Holiday rendition of the last stanza of the song Adon Olam. The translation is “God is near, I have no fear.” Most of you here in person at King David Memorial Park know me, I’m Gail Rubin, Ruth Rubin’s daughter. I’m also a Certified Funeral Celebrant, honored to escort my mother to her final resting place and celebrate her life.

(Reading from the “Rabbi’s Manual” by the Central Conference of American Rabbis) In nature’s ebb and flow, God’s eternal law abides. When tears dim our vision and grief clouds our understanding, we often lose sight of God’s eternal plan. Yet we know that growth and decay, life and death, all reveal the divine purpose. God, who is our support in the struggles of life, is also our hope in death. We have set God before us and shall not despair. In God’s hands are the souls of the living and the spirits of all flesh. Under divine protection we abide, and by God’s love we are comforted. Oh Life of our life, Soul of our soul, cause your light to shine into our hearts, and fill our spirit with abiding trust in you.

Ruth Rubin

Ruth Nancy Rubin, a kind, sweet, strong woman, exhaled her last breath on October 31, 2024. She lived and loved for 95 years.

She was born in Rochester New York October 16, 1929, to Phil and Min Bubes, three minutes before her twin brother Syd. Brother Larry came along a few years later. The family moved to New Jersey and then to the Washington, D.C. area, where Ruth graduated from Montgomery Blair High School and the University of Maryland College Park.

During college, brother Syd introduced Ruth to his friend Sheldon Rubin. The couple hit it off from the moment they met, launching a lifetime of love and adventure. They married on June 19, 1954. First came love, then came marriage, then came offspring in a baby carriage: Mitch (spouse Spencer), Gail (spouse David, deceased), Lee (previous spouse Maria), and Glen (spouse Pat), in that order. Granddaughter Dianne (spouse Geoffrey) came along, and she had great-grandson Max in 2022. Ruth and Shelly enjoyed 69 years of marriage until death parted them when he died at the age of 93 in August 2023.

After college and before the family came along, Ruth Rubin taught elementary school for two years in Baltimore and Silver Spring. She became a stay-at-home mom who was incredibly active: a troop leader in Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts, a member of Shaare Tefila synagogue’s sisterhood and a life member of Hadassah, starting with the Kadima Chapter in the Greater Washington, D.C. area. She and Shelly managed real estate properties together, cleaning out houses and bringing home unusual items left by tenants, such as an old wagon wheel, oriental carpets, and anything nautical.

She was a wonderful cook and “hostess with the mostest.” She made the fluffiest matzoh balls, the best brisket, and kugel to die for. She hosted holiday gatherings and parties throughout the year while making it look easy. Family gatherings with the grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins took place regularly either at the Rubin, Cohen or Bubes households: Passover, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, New Years, Super Bowls, birthdays, bar and bat mitzvahs. She loved pickles and reminisced about the wonderful sauerkraut her Bubbe in Rochester made.

She managed the family camping trips. An epic 1970 cross country trip from Washington, D.C. to California and back had her managing four kids ranging from age 15 to 9 in a pop up Starcraft camper named Frodo. Every summer there was a week at Ocean City or Rehoboth Beach. The family would go boating on the Chesapeake and camping in the mountains of Maryland and Virginia. With husband Shelly they went on many trips to exotic, far flung places. The family would reunite for milestone anniversary celebrations, including cruises to Alaska, Bermuda, and along the Mississippi River from Memphis to New Orleans.

Ruth Rubin loved nurturing plants and had a large collection of potted flora that transferred to each home they lived in: Takoma Park, Silver Spring, Leisure World, Delray Beach, FL, and Albuquerque, NM. She also loved butterflies, which offer a metaphor for transformation from the physical world to the spiritual.

Everyone I’ve spoken to about Mom and Dad commented how caring and supportive, sweet and funny they both were. Mom and Dad were prolific card senders, for birthdays, anniversaries and holidays.

While she had a sweet disposition, she was also a tough cookie. She faced multiple health challenges throughout her life, and still wanted to live on, even when persistent pneumonia became just too much to overcome. She had three hospitalizations since July. When she was admitted to the hospital on October 17, the day after her 95th birthday, this time she was in the Intensive Care Unit. The doctors recommended hospice, and she spent 11 days on in-patient hospice care at Delray Medical Center. October 31, the day she passed, is noted in numerous cultures as the day when the veil between the physical and spiritual worlds is the thinnest. Halloween will now always have a special meaning for us.

If there are people here in person or online who would like to share some thoughts, the floor is open. Unmute yourself before speaking. We have friends from Symphony at Delray, the assisted living facility where Mom and Dad lived since 2021, and family and friends from near and far online. (comments from friends and family about Ruth Rubin)

I don’t know where she got her Jewish education, but she was able to follow along reading the Hebrew in the prayer books at services. She made sure all the kids got a good Jewish education, with Sunday school, weekday Hebrew school, bar and bat mitzvahs, and confirmation. She made me a life member of Hadassah, just like her.

Lee, who lives in Delray Beach and was incredibly supportive of the folks in their final years, sent me a voice recording of Mom during the Jewish New Year. She was having breathing difficulties as she recited the Priestly Blessing: “May God bless you and keep you. May God’s countenance shine upon you. May God lift you up and give you peace.”

Please join me in the recitation of the 23rd Psalm.

Every Jewish funeral includes the prayer El Malei Rachamim, Source of Compassion. Let us listen to this rendition of the prayer (Bluetooth to speaker)

The Hebrew translates to: “God full of mercy who dwells on high, provide a true rest on the wings of the Divine Presence amongst the holy and pure ones who shine as brightly as the brilliance of the sky to the soul of Ruth Rubin, who has gone on to eternity. The Garden of Eden will be her resting place. We beseech the Merciful One to shade her forever with divine wings, and to bind her soul up in the bonds of life. Adonai is her heritage, and may she rest peacefully. And let us say, Amen.”

Recite Mourner’s Kaddish

Lower the casket

(Reading from the “Rabbi’s Manual” by the Central Conference of American Rabbis) Early or late, all must answer the summons to return to the Source of being, for we lose our hold on life when our time has come, as the leaf falls from the bough when its day is done. The deeds of the righteous enrich us all, as the fallen leaf enriches the soil beneath. The dust returns to the earth, the spirit lives on with God.

Throwing dirt on the casket is a mitzvah, as you are helping to bury the dead. There’s a tradition of avoiding passing the shovel, as pain should not pass from hand to hand. Place the shovel/trowel back in the dirt for the next person to pick up.

You are invited to visit with the family at an AirBNB house in Silver Spring where we are staying. It’s on Bonifant Road, right around the corner from the house we lived in on Sandy Ridge Road. Friday, Saturday and Sunday, come visit. Ask any of the siblings for the address.

Sometimes, when wrapping up a conversation, Mom would say, “Okay, back on your heads.” It’s the punchline to a joke.

An evil man dies and goes to hell. The Devil shows him three options for eternal damnation. Behind door number one is a flaming rock ravine where souls are tortured by demons with pitchforks. Behind door number two, in a raging ocean, souls chained to rocks are constantly beaten by huge waves. Behind door number three, people are standing around drinking coffee, up to their knees in shit. Compared to the other options, this doesn’t seem so bad, so he chooses door number three. As soon as he chooses, a demon announces, “Okay, coffee break’s over. Back on your heads.” So, back on your heads.

A recent Pearls Before Swine cartoon featured the Wise Ass on the Hill, who came down to deliver a message that just wouldn’t wait. “There is no past. There is no future. There is only the present moment. And we don’t know how many of them we have left. So hug your loved ones and do everything you can to celebrate the moment that you’re in.”

Thank you for joining us to honor and celebrate the life of Ruth Rubin. Please keep her and the family in your thoughts and prayers.

Ruth Rubin Family Video and Photos

The post Celebrating the Life of the Remarkable Ruth Rubin first appeared on A Good Goodbye.

Three of the speakers at the 2024 Before I Die New Mexico Festival are coming to Albuquerque from out of town. These remarkable women are Tammy J. Holmes, Kathy B. Dempsey and Dr. Kimberly Harms. Their presentations will knock your socks off! Here’s some information about each of them and their talks.

Tammy Holmes, Saturday, November 2 at 1:00 p.m. MT

Tammy Holmes

Tammy is a noted psychic who has spoken at previous Before I Die Festivals. She is speaking on Grief Insights from Beyond the Veil, bringing an uplifting message from our departed loved ones on what they want us to know about grieving losses.

Throughout her speaking career, Tammy has manifested her desire to make a difference in the lives she encounters, by touching each person she meets with joy and love. She has an amazing ability to connect others to their inner and outer worlds — their oneness and their God-self, allowing them to expand their consciousness to love more fully, thereby creating lives of spiritual abundance and hope. Her words will penetrate your soul and welcome you into your personal spiritual journey.

Tammy Holmes has learned so much about life, not just the day-to-day lessons of how to survive, but deeper, life-changing lessons that continue to allow her to evolve spiritually. Those lessons are conveyed through her speaking and spiritual readings. Tammy’s book, Remembering One, Once Again, embodies these lessons, and are evident in the topics of her various speaking engagements. Tammy is always attuned to her audience and delivers inspiring, meaningful words specific to those in attendance. Spirit guides her talks, allowing each member in attendance to take away something that guides him or her along a positive, ever-evolving life-path.

Learn more about Tammy at her website, www.TammyJHolmes.com.

REGISTER FOR THE FESTIVAL HERE

Kathy B. Dempsey, Sunday, November 3 at 1:00 p.m. and 2:00 p.m. MT

Kathy Dempsey

Kathy is an award winning author, keynote speaker, and recognized change expert. She also became certified as a death doula. She will speak on Sunday on the 1:00 p.m. panel discussion, Shed Before You’re Dead, about downsizing; and at 2:00 p.m. she is speaking on Would You Hold a Living Funeral For Yourself? On Monday, November 4, she and Dr. Kimberly Harms will present the interactive learning session, Your Clock is Ticking: Are You Ready? Participants will learn about unexpected death and how to prepare for it as time runs out for individuals in the audience.

Kathy’s ‘signature story’ is her transformation as an ER/trauma nurse who became the first health care worker in America to be diagnosed positive for AIDS as a result of workplace exposure. She received national attention as a result of this life-altering hospital-based event that ‘made her a poster child’ for the Center for Disease Control (CDC). The diagnosis, a death sentence in the mid-80s, was confirmed with multiple positive tests. Months later, all tests returned negative. A miracle or medical error? No one is able to explain. The three months that Kathy lived with that traumatic diagnosis was a life-altering experience.

Kathy speaks about shedding, the continual process of letting go of the old and taking on the new. Throughout life we go through a lot of attachments and detachments, not just the physical ones like birth and death, but also emotional ones. Your ability to deal with life’s detachments is about obtaining peace and happiness. As Kathy says, “Shedding what no longer serves you isn’t a loss; it’s making room for transformation.” Her most popular book, Shed or You’re Dead®: 31 Unconventional Strategies for Growth and Change, is the recipient of a Writer’s Digest International Book Award.

Learn more about Kathy at her website, www.KeepShedding.com.

REGISTER FOR THE FESTIVAL HERE

Kimberly Harms, DDS, Sunday, November 3 at 9:00 a.m. MT

Kimberly Harms, DDS

Dr. Kimberly Harms, an award winning bestselling author and international speaker with 30 years of experience, is committed to challenging societal norms surrounding death and end-of-life planning. Her book, Are You Ready? How to Build a Legacy to Die For, is designed to ensure our loved ones are emotionally secure once we leave this mortal plane of existence.

Her talk on Sunday, Let’s Get Ready! Everything You Need to Know Before You Go, explores the need to go beyond traditional estate planning and get our affairs in order emotionally. She is joining with Kathy Dempsey on Monday, November 4 to conduct the interactive learning session, Your Clock is Ticking: Are You Ready?

Her life story includes heart-breaking losses. She recognized the unfortunate truth that calamity and catastrophe are an unavoidable part of life. Those affected by loss are left in shock and grief, left wondering how they can cope with the world. Her hope is to give audiences the skills necessary to prepare them for a healing path to joy and peace no matter what life brings.

Learn more about Kimberly at her website, www.DrKimberlyHarms.com.

View the full schedule for the 2024 Before I Die New Mexico Festival here. These sessions will be available on Zoom to those who register.

REGISTER FOR THE FESTIVAL HERE

Thank you to our 2024 Festival Sponsors:

• A Good Goodbye: AGoodGoodbye.com
• Bernalillo County Indigent Program: https://www.bernco.gov/general-services/about-the-program/
• Better Place Forests: BetterPlaceForests.com
• Bosque Trails Hospice: BosqueTrailsHospice.com
• Conscious Crossroads End-of-Life Services: DeathDoulaDanielle.com
• Death Doula Professionals: DeathDoulaProfessionals.com
• End of Life Options New Mexico: EndOfLifeOptionsNM.org
• French Funerals & Cremations: FrenchFunerals.com
• Keeper Memorials: MyKeeper.com
• Passages International: PassagesInternational.com

The post Remarkable Speakers at the 2024 Before I Die New Mexico Festival first appeared on A Good Goodbye.

The Millennial Morticians with ABQ Brews: Death Doula Edition is a panel discussion with three Albuquerque area death doulas dishing the dirt on what they do. This was a preview event for the seventh annual Before I Die New Mexico Festival, November 1 to 4, 2024. Thanks to Tractor Brewing Wells Park location for hosting the event!

L to R: Death Doulas Danielle Slupesky, Kelly Saindon, Brooke Nutting and Nikki Neuen.

Watch the video

The death doula panelists and emcee:

• Brooke Nutting, Death Doula Professionals: https://deathdoulaprofessionals.com/
• Danielle Slupesky, Conscious Crossroads End-of-Life Services, https://deathdouladanielle.com/
• Kelly Saindon, Licensed Spiritual Practitioner and Master Clinical Social Worker
• Emcee is Nikki Neuen, Bonne Mori End of Life Navigation & Planning, https://bonnemori.com/

Watch the video to learn:

• What is a death doula?
• How do you get certified to be a death doula?
• How do death doulas work with hospices and funeral homes?
• What do you do for the dying person and their families?
• What’s the most unusual death or memorial service you’ve witnessed?

This event was a preview for the 2024 Before I Die New Mexico Festival, taking place November 1-4 at a different location each day in Albuquerque, NM. The festival has entertaining and educational elements that get people to discuss end-of-life issues and plan ahead. Most sessions will be available online as hybrid events, with audiences participating both in-person and via Zoom.

Each day has a theme: November 1 – Eco-Friendly Funerals; November 2 – Hospice 101 and MAID; November 3 – Planning for the Inevitable; November 4 – Unexpected Deaths. Each evening, watch a Mortality Movie related to each day’s theme and stick around for a lively discussion! The festival is coordinated by GailRubin, host of the Mortality Movies TV series.

View the schedule and register online at: https://beforeidiefestivals.com/2024-before-i-die-nm-festival-event-schedule/

Thank you to our 2024 Festival Sponsors:

• A Good Goodbye: AGoodGoodbye.com
• Bernalillo County Indigent Program: https://www.bernco.gov/general-services/about-the-program/
• Better Place Forests: BetterPlaceForests.com
• Bosque Trails Hospice: BosqueTrailsHospice.com
• Conscious Crossroads End-of-Life Services: DeathDoulaDanielle.com
• Death Doula Professionals: DeathDoulaProfessionals.com
• End of Life Options New Mexico: EndOfLifeOptionsNM.org
• French Funerals & Cremations: FrenchFunerals.com
• Keeper Memorials: MyKeeper.com
• Passages International: PassagesInternational.com

The post Video: Millennial Morticians with ABQ Brews Death Doula Edition first appeared on A Good Goodbye.

On the latest episode of The Doyenne of Death Podcast, host Gail Rubin interviews author Chris Palmer on his latest book, Achieving a Good Death: A Practical Guide to the End of Life. Learn what you need to know before you go! Download and listen to the episode here.

Among the topics discussed are advanced care planning, funeral planning, hospice and communicating with loved ones what your end-of-life wishes might be.

Chris Palmer, author

Author and end-of-life activist Chris Palmer explains how a good death is achievable in his new book, Achieving a Good Death: A Practical Guide to the End of Life.There is an art to dying well that can be taught and learned. While death is inevitable, dying badly is not. The book was published by Bloomsbury on October 1, 2024.

Chris is an end-of-life activist and a trained hospice volunteer. He frequently gives presentations and workshops to community groups on aging, death, and dying issues. He founded and leads an aging, death, and dying group and serves on the board of several nonprofits focused on end-of-life issues, including the Funeral Consumers Alliance, Montgomery Hospice, Final Exit Network, and the Hemlock Society.

He has written ten books —proceeds from all his books fund scholarships for American University (AU) students. Chris Palmer served 14 years on AU’s full-time faculty as Distinguished Film Producer in Residence. He holds advanced degrees from Harvard and University College London. Before becoming involved in end-of-life issues, he spent forty years as a wildlife and conservation filmmaker. To learn more about Chris, visit www.ChrisPalmerOnline.

Gail Rubin, The Doyenne of Death and Certified Thanatologist, hosts the podcast. She also hosts the TV series, Mortality Movies. An award-winning speaker and author, she is also the coordinator of the Before I Die New Mexico Festival. The Association for Death Education and Counseling recognized Gail’s work with their 2024 Community Educator Award.

The post Discussing How To Achieve a Good Death on the Doyenne of Death Podcast first appeared on A Good Goodbye.