Join the Albuquerque Death Cafe online! It’s an opportunity to talk about what’s on your mind about mortality issues. We have people from across the U.S. and around the world joining in the conversation on Zoom. The next session will be held on Sunday, February 12 at 3:00 p.m. Mountain Standard Time.

Prepare to settle in with your own cup of tea or coffee, and a nourishing snack. We’ll have an interesting, unstructured conversation that’s open and free-flowing with no specific agenda. It’s always different every time.

To keep this meeting secure, this meeting link will only be provided to those who RSVP through Meetup. So click here to please let us know if you’ll attend!

If you’d like to make a donation, use this PayPal link: https://bit.ly/GRDonation.

About The Death Cafe

The Death Cafe concept was started in the United Kingdom by Jon Underwood. He was influenced by the ideas of Swiss sociologist Bernard Crettaz, who started holding Cafe Mortel events in France and Switzerland. At these events, people come together in a relaxed, confidential and safe setting to discuss death, drink tea (or your favorite beverage) and eat delicious cake or cookies. Bernard Crettaz recently died on November 28, 2022.

Sadly, Jon Underwood, founder of the Death Cafe movement, died suddenly in June 2017 at the age of 44 from a brain hemorrhage caused by undiagnosed acute promyelocytic leukemia, a cancer of the white blood cells. The news was reported by his family on the Death Cafe website. News obituaries appeared in The Washington Post and The New York Times.

The Death Cafe Movement Grows

Jon’s mother Sue Barsky Reid and Jon’s sister Jools Barsky continue Jon’s Death Cafe work, as he requested. To date, the Death Cafe movement has grown to more than 15,160 events in 82 countries worldwide (as of December, 2022). For information on how to hold a Death Cafe in your community, review the information at www.DeathCafe.com. Albuquerque was the site of the second Death Cafe held in the United States. Gail Rubin hosted this pioneering event in September of 2012. Lizzy Miles held the first Death Cafe outside the U.K. in Columbus, Ohio in August of 2012.

Read more about Death Cafes here.

Gail Rubin, The Doyenne of Death and Death Cafe host.

Your Death Cafe Host

Gail Rubin, Certified Thanatologist and The Doyenne of Death®, is a pioneering death educator. She works with organizations to connect them with baby boomers concerned about end-of-life issues. A featured speaker at TEDxABQ in 2015, she’s the author of three books on end-of-life issues, including A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die and KICKING THE BUCKET LIST: 100 Downsizing and Organizing Things to Do Before You Die. In a previous lifetime, she was a public relations professional and an event planner.

Gail Rubin was one of the first people in the United States to hold a Death Cafe. She was recognized with the 2019 Women of Influence award by Albuquerque Business First. Find out why.

Subscribe to her weekly podcast, The Doyenne of Death®.

The post Next Online Death Cafe with Gail Rubin Coming February 12 first appeared on A Good Goodbye.

Jewish star on casket

Although Jewish funeral traditions are thousands of years old, many Jews today are unfamiliar with those rites. David Zinner, founder and past executive director of Kavod v’Nichum (Honor and Comfort), discusses these traditions with Gail Rubin, host of The Doyenne of Death® Podcast.

Topics discussed during the show include:

• The differences between Jewish and Christian funeral traditions;
• What are the Chevrah Kaddisha, shmira and tahara;
• Elements of the ceremony of washing and dressing of the dead;
• How Jewish burial is naturally green burial;
• Jewish traditions around dying, death, funerals, burials, cemeteries, grief and mourning.

Kavod v’Nichum (Honor and Comfort) is a nonprofit organization that works to restore Jewish death and bereavement practices, including the traditions and values of kavod hamet (honoring the dead) and nichum avelim (comforting the bereaved). Zinner was also the founder and Executive Director of the Gamliel Institute, a center for leadership training and advocacy of traditional Jewish practice in the continuum of care at the end of life. Learn more at their website, www.kavodvnichum.org.

This interview was originally recorded July 31, 2013. The program is in two parts, less than 30 minutes each. Listen to Part One. Part Two will be posted next Thursday.

About The Doyenne of Death

New episodes of The Doyenne of Death® podcast are released every Thursday. Episodes are available on the podcast playlist on YouTube as well as wherever you get your podcasts. Recent shows focus on Greek Orthodox funeral traditions, Near Death Experiences (NDEs), the physical impacts of grief, and an interview about the book Last Rites: The Evolution of the American Funeral. Listen to Gail Rubin’s introduction to the series and subscribe here.

Gail Rubin is a Certified Thanatologist, a Certified Funeral Celebrant, an award-winning author and speaker, creator of Newly-Dead® The Game and five-time coordinator of the Before I Die New Mexico Festival. Learn more about Gail Rubin, the podcast, and her work in death education.

Sign up for a free planning form and get more information at www.AGoodGoodbye.com.

The post Jewish Funeral Traditions on The Doyenne of Death Podcast first appeared on A Good Goodbye.

Eulogies can be hard to write. How can you incorporate humor? You can’t get any better than this off-the-rails exchange of eulogies by Steve Martin and Martin Short, when they hosted Saturday Night Live on December 10, 2022. You might want to avoid getting into discussing sexual matters, though, unless you’re actually hosting Saturday Night Live.

The post Eulogies by Steve Martin and Martin Short first appeared on A Good Goodbye.

Join the Albuquerque Death Cafe online! It’s an opportunity to talk about what’s on your mind about mortality issues. We have people from across the U.S. and around the world joining in the conversation on Zoom. The next session will be held on Sunday, January 8 at 3:00 p.m. Mountain Standard Time.

Prepare to settle in with your own cup of tea or coffee, and a nourishing snack. We’ll have an interesting, unstructured conversation that’s open and free-flowing with no specific agenda. It’s always different every time.

To keep this meeting secure, this meeting link will only be provided to those who RSVP through Meetup. So click here to please let us know if you’ll attend!

If you’d like to make a donation, use this PayPal link: https://bit.ly/GRDonation.

About The Death Cafe

The Death Cafe concept was started in the United Kingdom by Jon Underwood. He was influenced by the ideas of Swiss sociologist Bernard Crettaz, who started holding Cafe Mortel events in France and Switzerland. At these events, people come together in a relaxed, confidential and safe setting to discuss death, drink tea (or your favorite beverage) and eat delicious cake or cookies.

Jon Underwood, founder of the Death Cafe movement

Sadly, Jon Underwood, founder of the Death Cafe movement, died suddenly at the age of 44 from a brain hemorrhage caused by undiagnosed acute promyelocytic leukemia, a cancer of the white blood cells. The news was reported by his family on the Death Cafe website. News obituaries appeared in The Washington Post and The New York Times.

The Death Cafe Movement Grows

Jon’s mother Sue Barsky Reid and Jon’s sister Jools Barsky continue Jon’s Death Cafe work, as he requested. To date, the Death Cafe movement has grown to more than 15,160 events in 82 countries worldwide (as of December, 2022). For information on how to hold a Death Cafe in your community, review the information at www.DeathCafe.com. Albuquerque was the site of the second Death Cafe held in the United States. Gail Rubin hosted this pioneering event in September of 2012. Lizzy Miles held the first Death Cafe outside the U.K. in Columbus, Ohio in August of 2012.

Read more about Death Cafes here.

Gail Rubin, The Doyenne of Death and Death Cafe host.

Your Death Cafe Host

Gail Rubin, Certified Thanatologist and The Doyenne of Death®, is a pioneering death educator. She works with organizations to connect them with baby boomers concerned about end-of-life issues. A featured speaker at TEDxABQ in 2015, she’s the author of three books on end-of-life issues, including A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die and KICKING THE BUCKET LIST: 100 Downsizing and Organizing Things to Do Before You Die. In a previous lifetime, she was a public relations professional and an event planner.

Gail Rubin was one of the first people in the United States to hold a Death Cafe. She was recognized with the 2019 Women of Influence award by Albuquerque Business First. Find out why.

Subscribe to her weekly podcast, The Doyenne of Death®.

The post Next Online ABQ Death Cafe January 8, 2023 first appeared on A Good Goodbye.

How do Greek Orthodox funeral traditions vary from other church funerals? Father Conan Gill with St. George Greek Orthodox Church in Albuquerque, NM, talks about funeral traditions in the Greek Orthodox church with host Gail Rubin on The Doyenne of Death® Podcast.

Among the topics discussed in this two-part conversation:

• The Trisagion Service
• Cremation is forbidden
• The Meal of Mercy
• Burial services
• The Presbytera
• Remembrance rituals

Listen to Part One of the conversation about Greek Orthodox Funeral Traditions on The Doyenne of Death® Podcast. You can also listen through this YouTube video: Part One 

This interview was originally recorded April 30, 2014 on A Good Goodbye Online Radio Show.

Some Greek Orthodox Funeral Traditions

Greek Orthodox funeral traditions have a number of similarities to other Orthodox sects, as well as some significant differences. Other Orthodox Churches include: Antiochian Orthodox, Carpatho-Russian Orthodox, Romanian Orthodox, Russian Orthodox, Serbian Orthodox, and Ukranian Orthodox. The total number of Orthodox adherents in the US is estimated at almost 4.2 million.

Cremation is frowned upon by the Church and can be a cause to deny holding an Orthodox funeral. A wake or viewing may be held at the mortuary the night before the funeral — an appropriate time for eulogies by family or friends, and a priest may hold a Trisagion Service, which includes the singing of hymns and a homily. The body is usually viewed during the funeral.

The Greek Orthodox funeral ceremony is typically held in a church, usually within two to three days of the death (can be up to one week after). The ceremony can last thirty to sixty minutes, and is not part of a larger service. The priest will lead the Trisagion Service, and several books may be used, including The Divine Liturgy of St. John Chrysostom. The casket is open throughout the service. Participants may walk by the casket to pay last respects to the deceased. Greek Orthodox will not schedule a funeral on a Sunday or on Holy Saturday.

More background information here.

About The Doyenne of Death

New episodes of The Doyenne of Death® podcast are released every Thursday. Episodes are available on the podcast playlist on YouTube as well as wherever you get your podcasts. Recent shows focus on Near Death Experiences (NDEs), the physical impacts of grief, and an interview about the book Last Rites: The Evolution of the American Funeral. Listen to Gail Rubin’s introduction to the series and subscribe here.

Gail Rubin is a Certified Thanatologist, a Certified Funeral Celebrant, an award-winning author and speaker, creator of Newly-Dead® The Game and five-time coordinator of the Before I Die New Mexico Festival.  Learn more about Gail Rubin, the podcast, and her work in death education.

The post Greek Orthodox Funeral Traditions on The Doyenne of Death® Podcast first appeared on A Good Goodbye.

Keeper and GatheringUs, two companies that specialize in online and hybrid memorial services, are joining forces. Both companies have supported and participated in Before I Die Festivals in New Mexico in years past. Here’s today’s news from Mandy Benoualid, President of Keeper Memorials.

Online memorial platform Keeper Memorials has acquired GatheringUs, a leader in virtual and hybrid memorial services. The acquisition is part of Keeper’s further investment in the digital death care space.

Building from Keeper Memorials’ strong and growing presence in North America, the acquisition of GatheringUs represents Keeper’s strategy to better serve families globally. This merger will immediately accelerate Keeper’s online memorial efforts, allowing them to expand their team, provide additional services, and increase availability of virtual memorial events.

“We believe Keeper is the perfect partner because of their commitment to help create more meaningful and interactive experiences for families through celebrations of life, funerals, and memorial pages. The team has a decade of experience as an online memorial platform and a broad range of partnerships across the industry.” – Lauren Zaslansky Conner and Noha Waibsnaider, Co-Founders, GatheringUs.

Both GatheringUs and Keeper are committed to ensure the preservation of family legacies and stories during this transition. Keeper is honored to welcome GatheringUs families to Keeper’s award winning online memorial platform. More information about the transition will be shared in 2023.

Mandy Benoualid, President of Keeper, during a 2020 Before I Die NM Festival online session.

“We are excited to welcome thousands of GatheringUs families to Keeper’s immersive and feature-rich online memorial platform. Although we have provided memorialization services to families for nearly a decade, there is always room to grow and improve. Acquiring GatheringUs will enable us to grow our team and our product line, and better serve our most important asset – our families,” explains Mandy Benoualid, President of Keeper Memorials. “As a leader in virtual memorial events, GatheringUs is a perfect match for Keeper’s strategic goals. We continue to see strong demand for virtual funerals and look forward to expanding in this area.” 

The acquisition of GatheringUs signals the continued growth of Keeper Memorials. Keeper’s established and trusted online memorial service, and the expansion of their virtual memorial service offerings through the GatheringUs acquisition, allows Keeper Memorials to meet the needs of families across the globe.

About Keeper Memorials
Founded in 2013, Keeper is a social online memorial platform dedicated to memorializing the lives of the departed. Keeper’s collaborative online memorials enable friends and family to share tributes, upload photos, like, share, comment, connect, and remember those who are dearly missed. They also assist families with professionally crafted live streamed, virtual and hybrid memorial events. Keeper proudly partners with cemeteries and funeral homes to offer a suite of digital memorialization tools, and notably works with the US Department of Veterans Affairs, National Cemetery Administration on the Veterans Legacy Memorial project, memorializing over 4.4 Million Veterans.To learn more, visit www.mykeeper.com.

About GatheringUs
GatheringUs ​brings together family and friends to support each other and celebrate the life of their loved ones.GatheringUs has hosted hundreds of virtual and hybrid memorial events with guests around the world. They help families create unique and personal events to celebrate the life of their loved one. The GatheringUs team takes care of planning, coordinating logistics, and simplifying the technology, so communities can gather to support each other. Since their launch in 2018, hundreds of thousands have gathered on memorial pages where they raised $1.7M in donations to nonprofits and personal fundraisers.

Gail Rubin, The Doyenne of Death®, is a pioneering death educator, author, speaker, blogger, podcaster and the coordinator of Before I Die Festivals.

The post Keeper and GatheringUs Merge Online Memorial Services first appeared on A Good Goodbye.

Would you face your own mortality by building your own coffin? Dr. Jeffrey Piehler joined The Doyenne of Death® Gail Rubin to discuss facing mortality and funeral planning issues. His essay in The New York Times on making a plain pine box for his eventual cremation (see below) had generated a huge reaction.

This podcast was originally recorded February 12, 2014. Dr. Piehler died peacefully on November 14, 2014, surrounded by his family and friends. Read his obituary here.

Topics in this two-part discussion include:

• Why he decided to build his own coffin for a funeral followed by cremation.
• Family reaction – His wife really didn’t like the idea at first and how she and others changed their minds over the course of time.
• Perspective – “It’s pretty much impossible to feel anger at someone for driving too slowly in front of you in traffic when you’ve just come from sanding your own coffin.”
• Friendship – How building his own coffin with the help of a woodworking artist grew a friendship with a person very different from himself.
• Black humor – Laughing in the face of death while making your own coffin.

On the inside lid of his handmade casket is the quote, “I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.” Dr. Jeffrey Piehler’s life and death were featured in a documentary, Patient: A Surgeon’s Journey.

Podcast Episode

Listen to the podcast through the link below or through the video version on YouTube.

Dr. Piehler’s Essay on Mortality

Illustration by Robert G. Fresson for the New York Times

On February 2, 2014, The New York Times published Dr. Jeffrey Piehler’s essay titled “Ashes to Ashes, but First a Nice Pine Box.” The reaction from readers was overwhelming. Here’s the first part of his essay.

About The Doyenne of Death

New episodes of The Doyenne of Death® podcast are released every Thursday. Episodes are available on the podcast playlist on YouTube as well as wherever you get your podcasts. Recent shows focus on Near Death Experiences (NDEs), the physical impacts of grief, and an interview about the book Last Rites: The Evolution of the American Funeral. Listen to Gail Rubin’s introduction to the series and subscribe here.

Gail Rubin is a Certified Thanatologist, a Certified Funeral Celebrant, an award-winning author and speaker, creator of The Newly-Dead Game® and five-time coordinator of the Before I Die New Mexico Festival.  Learn more about Gail Rubin, the podcast, and her work in death education.

The post How to Consider Your Own Mortality: New Doyenne of Death Podcast Episode first appeared on A Good Goodbye.

This Thanksgiving, I’m grateful for the many blessings that God has bestowed upon me, including good health, my family, and my friends. I hope you’ll pause on this day to ponder those elements of your life for which you are thankful.

When you’re The Doyenne of Death®, discussing and thinking about mortality daily, you really appreciate life and good health. I just had my annual physical, and for a 64-year-old Caucasian woman, I’m in darn good shape! Need to keep an eye on the cholesterol levels and bone health. My regular Pilates classes I lead on Zoom with my faithful students are such a blessing.

Make the most of each day by being truly present. Drop resentments and negative emotional baggage that only weighs you down. Get outside, take a deep breath of fresh air, and look for the beauty that surrounds us. Wake up each morning and enjoy all that life has to offer.

These past two pandemic years remind us of the preciousness of good health. Do not take your health for granted – do some exercise every day, even if it’s just a quick walk in your neighborhood. You can ride a stationary bicycle or do hand weight work while you watch TV.

I’m especially grateful for the love and support of family and friends. They’ve been there for me through thick and thin, and I know that they’ll always be there for me. My husband Dave is a wonderful supporter of everything we do to get people discussing death and planning ahead. I’m looking forward to celebrating our 22nd anniversary this December with a cruise that the pandemic postponed for two years.

Sure, there are those people who annoy us greatly. Consider them a test of your ability to forgive and be magnanimous. Work to spread blessings, not curses.

Lastly, I’m grateful for all the blessings God has bestowed upon me. I’m truly blessed to have so much to be thankful for. This year, I’ve revived my podcast, The Doyenne of Death® (subscribe at  https://the-doyenne-of-death.sounder.fm/), drafted a manual on how you can hold a Before I Die Festival to get end-of-life planning conversations started (pre-order here: https://beforeidiefestivals.com/product/before-i-die-festival-in-a-box/) and I’ve safely traveled to several funeral industry conventions without catching COVID-19.

Gail Rubin, Certified Thanatologist and The Doyenne of Death®

Many thanks to those companies that support my work. So grateful to the Before I Die Festival Ohio and Dodds Memorials for bringing me to Dayton for the first festival there. So thankful to my good friends who died this past year who were prepared and provided financial blessings.

Reflecting on all that I’m grateful for this Thanksgiving, I’m filled with love, happiness, and hope for the future. Wishing you a wonderful Thanksgiving, happy holidays, and a great New Year, filled with health, wealth and success.

Gail Rubin, Certified Thanatologist and The Doyenne of Death®, is an award-winning speaker, author, podcaster, and coordinator of the Before I Die New Mexico Festival (www.BeforeIDieFestivals.com). She is also a Certified Funeral Celebrant. Her three books on planning ahead for end-of-life issues – A Good Goodbye, Hail and Farewell, and Kicking the Bucket List – are available through Amazon and her website, www.AGoodGoodbye.com.

The post Thanksgiving Thoughts from The Doyenne of Death® first appeared on A Good Goodbye.

Did you know grief affects our bodies? However, when people go to grief counselors, chances are they just focus on their thoughts and feelings. Dr. Diane Polasky, a Doctor of Oriental Medicine and certified death educator, joins host Gail Rubin on The Doyenne of Death® Podcast to discuss these issues.

Stomach pain, shortness of breath, tension, sleeplessness or sleepiness: grief can affect us physically in many ways.  Don’t overlook the physical impacts of grief! Emotions are meant to be expressed. Repressed emotions can generate chronic physical pain and disabilities.

Dr. Diane Polasky

Grief and Your Body

What can we do? These topics are covered over two 30-minute episodes:

• The differences between grief over anticipated death versus traumatic deaths
• What parts of the body are especially affected by grief
• The role ritual plays in processing grief
• Why children should be allowed to attend funerals
• What services can help people experiencing the dying process
• How we can make the most of living by recognizing we will die.

Dr. Polasky has degrees in psychology and religion, and became licensed as a Doctor of Oriental Medicine in 1987. She is also a certified Death Educator and Grief Counselor and a trainer in Education for Physicians on End-of-Life Care (EPEC), a program developed by the AMA. Her website is www.EnergyMedicineDoctor.com.

Listen to Part One of the conversation about grief and physical impacts on The Doyenne of Death® Podcast.

About The Doyenne of Death® Podcast

New episodes of The Doyenne of Death® podcast are released every Thursday. Episodes are available on the podcast playlist on YouTube as well as wherever you get your podcasts. Recent and upcoming shows focus on Near Death Experiences (NDEs), the physical impacts of grief, facing our own mortality, and Greek Orthodox funeral traditions. Listen to Gail Rubin’s introduction to the series and subscribe here.

Gail Rubin is a Certified Thanatologist, a Certified Funeral Celebrant, an award-winning author and speaker, creator of The Newly-Dead Game® and five-time coordinator of the Before I Die New Mexico Festival.  Learn more about Gail Rubin, the podcast, and her work in death education.

The post On The Doyenne of Death® Podcast: Physical Impacts of Grief first appeared on A Good Goodbye.

Join the Albuquerque Death Cafe online! It’s an opportunity to talk about what’s on your mind about mortality issues. We have people from across the U.S. and around the world joining in the conversation on Zoom. The next session will be held on Sunday, November 27 at 3:00 p.m. Mountain Standard Time.

Prepare to settle in with your own cup of tea or coffee, and a nourishing snack. We’ll have an interesting, unstructured conversation that’s open and free-flowing with no specific agenda. It’s always different every time.

To keep this meeting secure, this meeting link will only be provided to those who RSVP through Meetup. So click here to please let us know if you’ll attend!

If you’d like to make a donation, use this PayPal link: https://bit.ly/GRDonation.

Your Death Cafe Host

Gail Rubin, Certified Thanatologist and The Doyenne of Death®, is a pioneering death educator. She works with organizations to connect them with baby boomers concerned about end-of-life issues. A featured speaker at TEDxABQ in 2015, she’s the author of three books on end-of-life issues, including A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die and KICKING THE BUCKET LIST: 100 Downsizing and Organizing Things to Do Before You Die. In a previous lifetime, she was a public relations professional and an event planner.

Gail Rubin was recognized with the 2019 Women of Influence award by Albuquerque Business First. Find out why.

Subscribe to her weekly podcast, The Doyenne of Death®.

The post Online ABQ Death Cafe Scheduled November 27 first appeared on A Good Goodbye.