Coronavirus funeral news continues to pile up…

Pioneering funeral director Amy Cunningham in Brooklyn, NY has been featured in three in-depth articles. The stories focus on the huge challenges New York City funeral directors now face, even as the infection and death numbers trend downward.

Vox.com: 2 funeral directors on how the pandemic has upended the business of death. The subtitle: “Covid-19 is New York’s largest mass casualty event in more than 100 years. But there are no bodies in the street.” A compelling look at the overwhelming amount of death in New York City and how funeral directors there are coping.

Washington Monthly: Thousands of New Yorkers are Dying. What Happens to Their Bodies? A conversation with Amy Cunningham, Brooklyn’s environmentally-friendly funeral director. And yes, she is keeping empty caskets in her living room.

Associated Press: Brooklyn Neighborhood Comes Together to Bury a Stranger. Amy Cunningham posted an online neighborhood forum request for home grown flowers for a funeral. Strangers responded with generosity.

Other Stories About the Pandemic & Funerals

Jerusalem Post: Funerals and shiva move online. People throughout the world are filming funeral services and broadcasting them to family members and friends near and far.

New York Times: After a Lifetime Together, Coronavirus Takes Them Both. Across the country, reports are surfacing of long-term couples dying from Covid-19 in quick succession, redoubling the pain for those they leave behind.

New York Times: French Muslims Face a Cruel Coronavirus Shortage: Burial Grounds. For many immigrant families, the pandemic has halted the tradition of repatriating bodies to their country of origin, and finding a plot in France has become ever more difficult.

New York Times: ‘We Ran Out of Space’: Bodies Pile up as N.Y. Struggles to Bury Its Dead. The coronavirus is overwhelming New York’s system for burying its dead.

New York Post Celebrity Deaths

The New York Post has a running list of celebrities who have died as a result of coronavirus and COVID-19 complications. They include singer-songwriter John Prine (73), country singer Joe Diffie (61), magician and Las Vegas icon Roy Horn, of Sigfried & Roy (75), and playwright Terrence McNally (81).

New York Times Opinion: Do Not Resuscitate

By Yoojin Na, an emergency room physician at a hospital in metropolitan New York, wrote this compelling piece about advance medical directives. She says, “We need to be honest with ourselves and our patients. We can’t “do everything” and “save everyone.” Read it here.

New York Times Magazine Feature

How Do You Maintain Dignity for the Dead in a Pandemic? is an in-depth feature that focuses on how overwhelmed New York City funeral homes are struggling to fulfill their mission to serve grieving families. This feature provides a somber look at a possible future if infections and deaths spike in other parts of the United States.

USA Today: Burials without funerals…

This article in USA Today published on April 2, 2020, came out when the official pandemic death toll was 4,000. Today it is more than 86,000. Burials Without Funerals, Grief Without Hugs: Coronavirus is Changing How We Say Goodbye illustrates how physical distancing has changed funerals for all who die, not just those who die because of coronavirus.

In today’s Coronavirus Cinema Collection, we’re looking films that feature Viking funerals. Some folks think a Viking funeral would be a cool way to send off a loved one. This idealized grand gesture is totally influenced by films churned out by Hollywood studios.

Gail Rubin, the Doyenne of Death, continues the Coronavirus Cinema Collection of YouTube videos, film recommendations for hunkering down at home. These movies entertain while educating about funeral planning issues and planning ahead for end of life.

As a character in the 2007 film The Living Wake describes it, “The Vikings used to put the carcass on a boat, light it ablaze and cast it out to sea.” Where did this idea come from? Two films give us the history.

First Appearance: Beau Geste

Beau Geste (1939-Not Rated) stars Gary Cooper, Ray Milland and Robert Preston as three brothers who run off to join the French Foreign Legion.

In a flashback to childhood, the brothers are playing with toy boats on a pond. Beau, the oldest (played by a very young Donald O’Connor), knights his younger brother John. Beau thinks a Viking’s funeral would be a great way to go. (A clip is included in the YouTube video.)

This idea of being set ablaze with a dog at your feet plays a role toward the end of the film.

Grand Vision Idealized: The Vikings

It wasn’t until the 1958 film The Vikings that we see Hollywood’s grand vision of a Viking funeral that became idealized in popular culture.

The Vikings stars Kirk Douglas and Tony Curtis as two brawling Viking half-brothers. This grand costume drama ends with a mano-a-mano fight that leaves Kirk Douglas dead. Tony Curtis intones, “Prepare a funeral for a Viking.” (A clip is included in the YouTube video.)

This vision of the Viking funeral has been referred to in a number of subsequent movies.

The Legend Lives On: Rocket Gibraltar

The 1988 film Rocket Gibraltar stars Burt Lancaster as the patriarch of a large, dysfunctional family that comes together at his beachside home to celebrate his 70^th birthday. His eight grandchildren ask him what he wants for his birthday. He tells them no ties, no socks, he wants a Viking funeral. On the beach at night, he describes how the Vikings would send off their honored dead, just as depicted in the 1958 film.

The kids are inspired by Grandpa’s vision. They find an abandoned rowboat, named Rocket Gibraltar, rig it up with a striped sail and embellish the bow with driftwood.

On his birthday, the kids find Grandpa has expired from a heart condition while taking a nap. As the big party gets underway, the kids smuggle Grandpa’s body out of the house. They hijack the caterer’s van to take the body the beach and give him his Viking funeral.

When the parents finally figure out what’s up, there’s a mad dash to the seashore. They arrive upon the scene to find Grandpa’s already up in flames. Remarkably, they don’t discipline their children for what they have done. They just sit down and watch that sucker burn.

Explosions in Eulogy

Eulogy is a comedy from 2004 that brings another dysfunctional family together for the funeral of a wayward patriarch. In this ending, the family takes the body in a casket on a rowboat to a pond. Twin grandsons are in charge of giving grandpa his Hollywood Viking funeral. (A clip is included in the YouTube video.)

In addition to these films, you’ll see variations on the Viking funeral on water in The Living Wake from 2007, the short film Carpet Kingdom from 2008, and the 1995 film First Knight, starring Sean Connery as King Arthur, who dies at the end.

The Truth About Viking Funerals

Despite these Hollywood depictions, Viking funerals and cremations were held on land. The rituals, including burial and cremation, varied throughout the Viking Age of Scandinavian history, approximately 790 A.D. to 1066 A.D. For wealthy or important individuals, a boat, a cart or horses were buried with the body, as a means of transporting their spirit to the Great Beyond.

When the body was cremated in a boat, the vessel was parked on land. Vikings were often burned or buried with their personal belongings. There are many examples of Norse cremation sites and cemeteries throughout Scandinavia.

So, whenever you see movie with a flaming boat on the water, know that this depiction of a Viking funeral is out to sea.

Other Coronavirus Cinema Collection recommendations feature Funny Films for Funeral Planning and “Based on a True Story” movies. Subscribe to this channel for more videos with film suggestions.

About Gail Rubin, CT

Funny films can help break the ice about serious subjects – medical care, end-of-life issues, estate planning, and funeral planning. Certified Thanatologist Gail Rubin is a death educator who brings a light touch to serious subjects with humor and clips from movies and television shows that help audiences learn and remember important lessons.

Her presentations qualify for continuing education credits for medical professionals, hospice and social workers, attorneys, financial planners, funeral directors and other professionals who need CEUs. Look for the seal of continuing education credit approval from the Academy of Professional Funeral Service Practice.

Gail Rubin, The Doyenne of Death®, offers a number of film presentations in 60- to 90-minute sessions and longer workshops, both in person and through online webinars. And yes, she does have a license from the Motion Picture Licensing Corporation to legally show films to the public.

Welcome to today’s Coronavirus Cinema collection. I’m Gail Rubin, the Doyenne of Death, with film recommendations for hunkering down at home. These movies entertain while educating about funeral planning issues and planning ahead for end of life.

Today we’re looking at funeral related films that are Based on A True Story. As the title suggests, all of these movies have a real-life basis, although Hollywood does have a way of changing up details.

If you click on the film titles, they have Amazon affiliate links that provide instant streaming access or the opportunity to buy the DVD.

Get Low

The 2009 film Get Low, starring Robert Duvall, Bill Murray and Sissy Spacek, is based on a true story of a man who wanted to have a funeral party while he was still alive.

Felix “Bush” Breazeale was a bachelor in Tennessee who started his funeral party plans in 1938. His funeral plan was first reported by the Roane County Banner, and the story went viral – it was picked up by the Associated Press and United Press wire services and LIFE magazine.

When the event was held on June 26, 1938, the crowd was estimated at 8 to 12 thousand people. Cars from 14 states were backed up two miles to the two Cave Creek Baptist Churches (built side to side – one Primitive, the other Missionary) where the event was held. An enterprising John Cook charged 25 cents per car to park in his neighboring field, and he was reported to have made $300. Vendors of soft drinks and hot dogs did a flourishing business. Flowers were sent from Knoxville and Chattanooga.

Felix was late to his own funeral due to traffic along the road. The Hawkins Mortuary hearse arrived with Bush in the front seat and a home-made walnut coffin in the back of the vehicle. People held their children high to get a glimpse, and 10 people fainted from the heat and excitement. Reporters and cameramen from the newspapers for Knoxville and Chattanooga covered the event.

Felix went on to become quite the celebrity. He was featured in Robert Ripley’s syndicated column, and he took Bush to New York City for a radio interview – the 1938 equivalent of being flown to the Big Apple to be interviewed on the TODAY Show.

He actually lived five years beyond his funeral party. Born in June 1864, he died on February 9, 1943 at the age of 78. He was buried in the graveyard where his funeral party took place.

Get Low features the idea of planning ahead for your own funeral arrangements, and the idea of a living funeral – being alive to hear what people might say about you.

Grand Theft Parsons

The 2003 film Grand Theft Parsons is based on the true story of what happened to Gram Parsons’ body after he died.

Parsons was an influential country rock musician who played with Emmylou Harris, The Byrds, and The Flying Burrito Brothers. Parsons died in 1973 from a morphine overdose at the age of 26 in a motel room near Joshua Tree National Monument.

Prior to his death, Parsons stated that he wanted his body cremated at Joshua Tree and his ashes spread over Cap Rock, a prominent natural feature there. His road manager Phil Kaufman and he had a pact. Whoever died first, the other would take the body to Joshua Tree and “set his spirit free,” that is, set the body on fire. Which is what Kaufman did, with the help of a friend. They used five gallons of gasoline, which caused a huge explosion.

In the true story, police chased Kaufman and his friend after they set Parson’s body on fire, but the pair got away. The men were arrested several days later. Since there was no law against stealing a dead body, they were only fined $750 for stealing the coffin and were not prosecuted for leaving 35 pounds of Parsons’ charred remains in the desert.

Grand Theft Parsons has lessons about wills, who can handle funeral arrangements for you, and thoughts about family taking precedence over friends when it comes to funerals.

Bernie

Bernie is the strange but true story of mild-mannered assistant funeral home director Bernie Tiede who befriends a much-hated wealthy widow, Marjorie Nugent. She takes advantage of his sweet nature and becomes demanding. He leaves the funeral home to become her personal assistant.

The pressure drives him to kill her on November 19, 1996 and he hides her body in a freezer. Then he goes on a spending spree with her money, much of which supports the community in Carthage, Texas. He goes to great lengths to create the illusion that she’s still alive for months. Finally, the jig is up. He’s convicted of her death and sentenced to life in prison.

The film is based on an article by Skip Hollandsworth that appeared in the January 1998 issue of Texas Monthly magazine, titled “Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil in East Texas.”

The 2012 film starts Jack Black and Shirley MacLaine. Black met with Bernie Tiede while he was serving a life sentence in a Texas prison. As a result of the film, a new sentencing hearing took place and Tiede was released on bond in May 2014.

But the Nugent family was furious and filed for a new sentencing trial. In April 2016, after a three-week trial with 80 witnesses, within four hours, the jury returned with a guilty verdict and Tiede was returned to jail for a life sentence. He may yet get another day in court. He’ll be eligible for parole in 2029. Read the details in this Texas Monthly magazine article by Skip Hollandsworth.

Bernie offers lessons on the many roles a funeral director plays and shows how corpse cosmetology works.

Honorable Mention: The Farewell

The tagline for this 2019 film is “Based on a true lie.” A grandmother in China is kept in the dark about her cancer diagnosis, and her scattered family gathers in their homeland to honor her. They use the pretense of attending the wedding of her grandson.

The Farewell shows Chinese funeral traditions such as burning paper representations of material goods to send them to the afterworld and a ritual cemetery visit.

If you’ve got other funny funeral films to recommend, please post a comment! For more Coronavirus Cinema recommendations, like this YouTube channel, and give this video a thumbs up.

By the way, Gail Rubin can do virtual presentations with clips from these and other films. Send a note if you’d like to talk! I’m Gail Rubin, the Doyenne of Death, reminding you to wash your hands and remember, just like talking about sex won’t make you pregnant, talking about funerals and end of life issues won’t make you dead. Start a conversation today.

Live online: Thursday, April 30 at 11:00 a.m. PT/12:00 p.m. MT/1:00 p.m. CT/2:00 p.m. ET

Join Gail Rubin, Certified Thanatologist and The Doyenne of Death®, for 90-minutes of funny film and television program clips that put the “fun” in funeral planning!

This upbeat talk illustrates funeral planning issues with clips from comedy films and television programs. Learn what you need to know before someone dies to reduce stress and conflict, save money and create a “good goodbye.”

Because Gail has a license to show film clips in her presentations, but only “live and in person,” this webinar will not be recorded. However, she will be doing a second “Laughing in the Face of Death” webinar on Thursday, May 7 at 7:00 p.m. Mountain Time. REGISTER TO ATTEND HERE.

News stories continue to show the impact COVID-19 has on grieving families, funeral directors, and society in general. Stores are now running out of sympathy cards.

The Funeral Leader: Medical Examiner Contracts COVID-19 from a Dead Body

An article in a medical journal written by experts appears to suggest that a medical examiner in Thailand contracted COVID-19 from a deceased person. Up until now, transmission was thought to take place only through living breathing people. READ THE FULL STORY HERE

The Funeral Leader: Ideas Funeral Directors Can Share with Families

During this time of great uncertainty, families who lose loved ones are hit with a harsh realization: They will not be able to gather and gain a sense of closure in the ways they normally would.

More than anyone, those in funeral care understand how beneficial it is to pay tribute when a friend or family member dies. That’s why it’s important to have ideas on hand for families so they can begin the grieving process when normal rituals aren’t possible. Families are looking to you for comfort and strength as they not only face shock and sadness over a death but also over their inability to honor their loved one the way they want to.

READ ABOUT THE 10 IDEAS HERE

New York Times: Opinion Piece on Funeral Directors Risking Their Lives to Care for COVID-19 Victims

We talk a lot about the emergency medical workers and doctors and nurses whom we clap for every evening. But funeral directors are the last responders on the front lines — the people who come after someone has died. While they help families say their final goodbyes, funeral directors and their teams operate largely in the background. READ THE FULL PIECE

New York Times: Hasidic Families Hit Hard by Virus

The coronavirus has hit the Hasidic Jewish community in the New York area with devastating force, killing influential religious leaders and tearing through large, tight-knit families at a rate that community leaders and some public health data suggest may exceed that of other ethnic or religious groups.

The city does not track deaths by religion, but Hasidic news media report that roughly 700 members of the community in the New York area have died from Covid-19, the disease caused by the virus. READ THE FULL STORY

The Hill: Opinion About Unprecedented Grief

Scholars and mental health providers have spent three decades studying death and grief, coming to understand the processes and best ways to care of the bereaved. Unfortunately, little of that research speaks to our circumstances. READ THE FULL COLUMN

New York Times: Sympathy Cards are Selling Out

It’s not just toilet paper anymore. With so many deaths, the sympathy card section is sold out. READ THE STORY HERE.

Need note cards and want to know the best way to write a condolence card? Read this blog post: Easy How To Tips for Writing a Condolence Card or Note.

It’s been six weeks since people in many areas of the country went into their homes to shelter in place to avoid the coronavirus. Looking for fresh movies to keep you distracted from the bad news out there?

Welcome to the Coronavirus Cinema Collection: Funny Funeral Films, hosted by Gail Rubin, the Doyenne of Death. These film recommendations for hunkering down at home bring a light touch to the dark topic of death. The movies in the Coronavirus Cinema Collection are designed to entertain while educating about funeral planning issues and planning ahead for end of life.

These Funny Funeral Films recommendations all have funerals at the center of the story line. They give us insights into various aspects of funeral planning that maybe you haven’t thought about, but maybe you should.

One aspect of comedy involves watching someone else in pain. Funerals provide plenty of comedic material. It’s sad that funerals and memorial services these days require less than 10 people in attendance with six feet of distance between individuals. These films show funerals from the time we could all be much physically closer.

There will be additional Coronavirus Cinema Collection videos coming at Gail Rubin’s YouTube channel in the near future. Subscribe to the channel and be the first to know about new videos! Feel free to add your own Funny Funeral Film suggestions in the comment box.

Here are brief descriptions of each film and Amazon affiliate links to these movies discussed in the video. There are also links to Friday Funeral Film blog posts that go into more detail about each movie at The Family Plot Blog at AGoodGoodbye.com.

Death at a Funeral (UK and US versions)

The first version of Death at a Funeral was filmed in the UK and came out in 2007. A second version of Death at a Funeral was produced in the US in 2010 with an African American cast. Both versions of the film feature Peter Dinklage, now known for his Emmy Award-winning role as Tyrion Lannister in HBO’s Game of Thrones series. Both versions of the film offer lessons on writing eulogies, paying for funerals, holding a home funeral, and crazy family interactions at funerals.

There is a short clip from the US version of the film included in the video review. Read more about Death at a Funeral.

Elizabethtown

Elizabethtown is a 2006 romantic comedy starring Orlando Bloom, Kirsten Dunst, Susan Sarandon and others. It provides lessons on the similarities of weddings and funerals, the differences between Kentucky and Oregon in rates of cremation and burial, and elements of planning a memorial service. It also has a great music soundtrack and shows scenes of scattering cremated remains. Learn more about Elizabethtown in this blog post about The Many Faces of Grief and Mourning in the Movies.

Undertaking Betty

Undertaking Betty is a romantic comedy from 2006 starring Alfred Molina, Brenda Blethyn and Christopher Walken. There are a number of interesting funerals in this film, as it pits two competing funeral directors in a small town in Wales against each other. One is traditional, the other is a big proponent of themed funerals. It offers lessons on personalizing funerals and planning ahead for funerals.

There is a short clip from this film included in the video review. Read more about Undertaking Betty.

Six Wives of Henry Lefay

Six Wives of Henry Lefay is a 2009 comedy that stars Tim Allen. As the name implies, Henry Lefay has been married a few times. At the beginning of the film, it looks like Henry dies in a parasailing accident in Mexico. This causes his current wife and ex-wives to come together at the funeral home in conflict over what Henry wanted. He wrote letters to each of his wives about what he wanted – burial or cremation – but these wishes changed with each wife. The film also illuminates issues regarding business succession, estate planning, funeral planning, and keeping your arrangements up-to-date. Read more about The Six Wives of Henry Lefay.

Honorable Mention: Harold and Maude

Harold and Maude gets an honorary shout out, even though it doesn’t focus on funerals. The main characters meet while attending the funerals of people they don’t know. There is a short clip from this film included in the video review. This film will be explored further in another Coronavirus Cinema Collection. Read more about Harold and Maude.

About Gail Rubin, CT, The Doyenne of Death

Gail Rubin, CT, The Doyenne of Death^®, is a pioneering death educator who uses humor, film clips, and outside the box activities to help people learn about and plan ahead for end-of-life issues. A doyenne is a woman who’s considered senior in a group who knows a lot about a particular subject. Gail is a Certified Thanatologist (that’s the CT after her name).

She is the author of award-winning books: A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die, Kicking the Bucket List: 100 Downsizing and Organizing Things to Do Before You Die, and Hail and Farewell: Cremation Ceremonies, Templates and Tips. She is also the coordinator of the award-winning Before I Die New Mexico Festival.

Her 2015 TEDx talk, A Good Goodbye, focuses on the importance of starting end-of-life conversations before there’s a death in the family. Albuquerque Business First named her one of their Women of Influence in 2019.

She’s a member of the Association for Death Education and Counseling, the International Cemetery, Cremation and Funeral Association, Toastmasters International and the National Speakers Association. Her motto is: “Talking about sex won’t make you pregnant. Talking about funerals won’t make you dead.”

Can your loved ones pay for your funeral when you die?

People often push this thought to the back of their minds, until someone dies. Who can blame them? However, as a result, families may find themselves unprepared and struggling to pay for funeral and burial costs.

If you want a proper send-off for yourself or a family member, you may want to take out burial insurance. The National Funeral Directors Association reported in 2017 that a funeral with viewing and burial packages costs a whopping $7,360. Inflation raises these costs every year.

Who can get burial insurance?

Who needs a burial insurance policy? It is offered to seniors starting at age 50 and older. It helps them to plan ahead. It can help make the concept of death less scary. But more importantly, it protects the family from out-of-pocket payments for funeral and cremation services. No one has to sacrifice their personal savings or funds intended for other purposes.

What does burial insurance cover and why is it a good investment?

• It covers funerals, cremation, cemetery costs, and other expenses.
• You can have multiple beneficiaries.
• It prepares your family for unexpected expenses.
• Insurance helps your beneficiaries avoid taking out loans with high interest rates.
• The funds from an insurance policy go to the family, not directly to the funeral home.
• Policies vary from one life insurance company to the other, and the benefits can range from $5,000 up to $25,000, or even higher from some companies.

How does it work?

• You can choose from a term or a whole life insurance policy.
• Burial insurance premiums can be as little as $10 per month.
• Payments can be made monthly or annually, whatever is convenient/sustainable.
• It does not expire, provided the premium is consistently paid.
• If the cash benefit amounts to more than the burial costs, the beneficiary can use the funds to pay for an outstanding medical bill, or any other debts.
• It does not typically require a medical examination. Most will only need to answer questions about health status to determine the coverage.
• The amount may be smaller compared to other life insurance policies, but your beneficiary will receive it almost immediately in a lump sum.
• You can add burial insurance to your existing life insurance policy.

What do funerals and burial cost?

When you break down the costs for a funeral and burial, you can see why they can cost so much. Burial insurance may cover the following (2017 prices):

• Basic Service Fee by the Funeral Home – $2,100
• Body Preparation – $250
• Casket (Metal) – $2,400
• Vault – $1,395
• Embalming – $725
• Hearse – $325
• Memorial Printing – $160
• Transfer of the Remains – $325
• Facilities and Staff for Ceremony – $500
• Facilities and Staff for Viewing – $425
• Service vehicle – $150

Funeral homes may add other services and fees for use of facilities. Additional costs, such as obituary placements, flowers, and reception food and drink, can add thousands of dollars more.

What’s the difference between burial insurance and pre-need insurance?

Pre-need insurance, also known as ‘prepaid’ insurance, can be mistaken as burial insurance, but there is actually a significant difference between the two. With pre-need protection, you allocate the funds directly to the funeral home that will provide the services and merchandise through an insurance policy. In exchange for your commitment, most funeral homes will “lock in” today’s rates on the products and services that they control, providing inflation cost protection.

Unlike burial insurance, pre-need insurance is connected to a specific funeral home. You would only get services from that provider. If many years pass, there is no guarantee the exact products purchased will be available. In that case, the funeral home would provide a comparable product. If you moved to a different city, the funds in the policy are transferrable to another funeral home. However, you would lose the inflation protection of the original policy.

How do you find the best burial insurance policy and provider?

Here are steps to help you choose the best burial insurance.

• Determine your budget.

Deciding on a policy will depend on your financial capability and preferences. It should be easy for you to allot a fraction of your income to the monthly premium. Your choice of merchandise and services will also be another factor. If you are on a budget, convey your needs to your insurance agent about the desired send-off for yourself or your family members.

• Consider cremation.

Burial insurance offers the flexibility to choose a conventional burial or lower cost cremation services. The National Funeral Directors Association estimated the cost of a funeral viewing followed by cremation at $6,260. Cremation costs may include the following (2017 prices):

• Basic Service Fee by the Funeral Home – $2,100
• Body Preparation – $250
• Urn – $275
• Cremation by a third party – $350
• Embalming – $725
• Casket (for cremation) – $1,000
• Memorial Printing – $160
• Transfer of the Remains – $325
• Facilities and Staff for Ceremony – $500
• Facilities and Staff for Viewing – $425
• Service vehicle – $150

Placement of cremated remains in a cemetery, receptions, flowers and newspaper obituaries can add to these costs. Inflation will continue to drive these fees upward every year.

• Look for quick approval.

An insurance company can only help a potential client while they are still alive. Most good insurance providers will take three days or less to approve applications.

• Choose the type of policy that you qualify for.

The policy type will depend upon your health status.

• Simplified Issue

The policy is for those with no health issues and without risks such as smoking and drinking. You must be able to provide your medical history as proof of your good health.

• Guaranteed Issue

This policy is for everyone, even for those who have health issues. Premiums for this type of policy are more expensive, as those with higher health risks may claim benefits sooner rather than later.

 You can choose between two available insurance types:

• Term Life Policy

A term policy comes with a time limit and is only be available for a particular time frame or ends when you reach a specific age. If you outlive the policy term, you do not receive any benefits with a term life policy. Premiums tend to be lower.

• Whole Life Policy

A policy that does not expire and remains available until your time of death, up to age 100 or more. Premiums tend to be higher, but it offers a safer choice that’s available any time death occurs.

• Look for no medical exam.

Choose an insurance provider that will not require a medical examination of your health. Every person, sick or not, has the right to get burial insurance.

• Check for fast release of benefits.

After a death, you need cash to pay for funeral and burial expenses. Avoid insurance providers that cannot promise payouts within a week of death.

Tips to Get the Right Burial Insurance

1. Be honest with all information.

It is important to disclose all vital information regarding your current health. Lying about your information can be a cause for denial of a policy.

2. Prepare your arrangements.

It is never too soon to discuss and prepare for your funeral. You can pre-plan with a funeral home but not pre-pay. Having your information and arrangements on file with the funeral home of your choice will help take some of the weight off from your family. Choose a primary and a secondary beneficiary to receive the burial insurance funds, preferably people whom you can count on to carry out your desired arrangements.

3. Know your insurance coverage.

After talking with your agent, review your coverage and be familiar with the details. Knowing the prices and keeping up to date with your insurance agent will help insure you have enough coverage at the time of your death.

Funeral and burial insurance protects your loved ones from spending money they can’t afford after you die. Don’t make them spend their hard-earned money for your sake – you won’t be able to pay it back. Burial insurance helps them send you off on your terms, executed by your most trusted beneficiary. You can complement an existing insurance plan with burial insurance. The right insurance agent can walk you through the process of buying burial insurance.

Get the most out of the coverage you purchase during your lifetime and relax knowing your loved ones are covered financially.

Do you work in the death care sector? Have you recently experienced a death? Want to share your stories of death during the coronavirus pandemic with the world?

The DeathTech Research Team at the University of Melbourne in Australia has established a platform to share accounts of how the COVID-19 pandemic is changing death care. They are looking for stories about end-of-life and mortuary care, arranging funerals, and ongoing memorialization.

This information is of interest to the DeathTech Research Team as part of their research into death and technology in the 21st century. They’d like to know what you are experiencing now. How are funerals happening, if they are happening at all? How are bodies being handled, what is different? What other developments have you seen?

You can upload your reflections to the interactive map here. To add a reflection, click on the large plus sign, select a location, and then add your text. You can also email deathtech-reserach@unimelb.edu.au if you would prefer that they upload your contribution. 

They are particularly interested in first-person accounts, reflections on new technologies being used and new rituals, as well as the emotional, professional, and social impact of these changes. You can include links to news articles, images, or videos. The researchers will also add published articles about death during COVID-19 to the map. 

You can choose to upload anonymously if you wish. You can also choose to identify yourself and/or your company in the post. The location you set for the post can be as specific or general as you wish. 

Privacy and Access

As an open platform, you can also view what is happening elsewhere in the world and learn from others facing similar circumstances. This means that your contribution will be public, and access is not limited to the research team. 

You are free to withdraw your contribution at any time. Please contact DeathTech (deathtech-research@unimelb.edu.au) to do so.

If you are uploading images or videos, please ensure you are the one to have taken them (or can cite the original source) and have permission of those in them to upload the image/video. 

The software platform being used for this project is called Padlet. The privacy policy for Padlet can be found here.

If you would like more information about the wider project, please contact the DeathTech Research Team (deathtech-research@unimelb.edu.au). 

This is part of a research project that has been approved by the Human Research Ethics Committee of The University of Melbourne. Ethics ID number 1954540.1. You can download the Plain Language Statement and Consent Form for that project at http://www.deathtech.org

Do you plan to live forever? Do you ever plan to move? Depending on where you’re going, you can’t take it with you.

This free online talk focuses on practical ways to downsize excess goods without being overwhelmed by the job, what you need to know to organize your information for your executor, and how to plan for end-of-life issues. Participants will receive a free Memorial Planning Guide and a 50-point Executors Checklist.

Register through this link!

Gail Rubin, CT, The Doyenne of Death®, is author of the award-winning books A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die, Kicking the Bucket List: 100 Downsizing and Organizing Things to Do Before You Die, and Hail and Farewell: Cremation Ceremonies, Templates and Tips. She is also the coordinator of the award-winning Before I Die New Mexico Festival.

A doyenne is a woman who’s considered senior in a group who knows a lot about a particular subject. Gail is a Certified Thanatologist (a death educator) and speaker who uses humor and films to get end-of-life conversations started. Her 2015 TEDx talk, A GOOD GOODBYE, focuses on the importance of starting end-of-life conversations before there’s a death in the family. Albuquerque Business First named her one of their Women of Influence in 2019.

Death Cafes were originally designed to be held in person. People come together, have a little coffee or tea, some cake or cookies, and talk about what’s on their hearts or minds about mortality issues.

The coronavirus pandemic has changed all that. During these days of social distancing orders due to COVID-19, it is difficult to hold a traditional in-person Death Cafe. But Death Cafes still work while social distancing.

Like so many other previously in-person events, Death Cafe meetings have gone virtual. Hosts are using online video chat apps like Zoom, FaceTime, Skype, and other platforms. It takes a little adjustment, and you have to provide your own refreshments, but it works.

What is the Death Cafe?

The objective of the Death Cafe is “To increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives.”  It’s all about an interesting, unstructured conversation – open and free-flowing with no specific agenda.

The Death Cafe movement was started in London by Jon Underwood, who held his first Death Cafe in September 2011. He was inspired by the work of Swiss sociologist Bernard Crettaz, who held Café Mortel events in France and Switzerland.  As of April 2020, more than 10,737 Death Cafes have been held in 70 countries. Learn more about Death Cafes here.

As one of the first people to hold a Death Cafe in the United States, I’ve facilitated about 100 events since 2012. And now I’m among the first to host a Death Cafe online. Our first online foray had between 13-18 participants sharing their thoughts about these unprecedented times for about 90 minutes.

Our next Albuquerque Online Death Cafe will be this coming Sunday, April 19, 3:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. Mountain Daylight Time. If you’d like to join in, send me a message and I’ll send you the Zoom link.

One of the benefits of online discussions – geographic distance disappears. While most of our participants were in Albuquerque, we also had people join in from Santa Fe, Arizona, Colorado, New York and Ohio.

How to facilitate an online discussion

If you would like to facilitate an online Death Cafe, here are helpful tips:

• Provide a brief overview of the Death Cafe movement. The full story is available online at https://deathcafe.com/what/.
• As the host, ask everyone to introduce themselves and why they chose to attend the discussion today.
• Pose the question, “Does anyone have a burning issue they’d like to discuss right off the bat?”
• The host has the option to mute everyone else who isn’t speaking, or you can ask those not speaking to mute themselves.
• To start speaking, people can raise their actual hands that you can see on video or use the “Raise Hand” feature in Zoom.
• Feel free to bring up your own topics or questions to discuss.
• Depending on the size of the group in the discussion, you can keep everyone in one conversation, or move people into separate online “breakout rooms” for more intimate conversations.
• Toward the end, ask, “Does anyone has questions or comments they have not yet had the chance to express?”
• Sign off with the “Live Long and Prosper” hand sign from Star Trek – it’s a great salutation in this age of coronavirus.

If you have a Zoom account, it is better to create a meeting ID specifically for the event, rather than posting your Personal Meeting ID in public. This makes any meeting you might hold in the future with that Meeting ID open to online meeting crashers. You can add a layer of security by requiring a password for the meeting. This is set up when you first schedule the Zoom session. If you are new to the technology, you might want to have a practice session prior to the actual event.

While these tips are specific to hosting an online Death Cafe, they are good guidelines for any online video meetings you might host. Certainly, there are many opportunities to do so in these “new normal” times.

Gail Rubin, CT

Gail Rubin, Certified Thanatologist and The Doyenne of Death®, is a pioneering death educator. One of the first Death Cafe hosts in the U.S., she uses humor, funny film clips, and outside-the-box activities to teach about end-of-life topics. She authored three books on end-of-life issues and coordinates the Before I Die New Mexico Festival. She’s also a Certified Funeral Celebrant and was recognized by Albuquerque Business First with their 2019 Women of Influence Award. Download a free 50-point Executor’s Checklist from her website, www.AGoodGoodbye.com.