The news is out about the launch of AFTR, a pioneering funeral technology that connects the deceased in cemeteries with their loved ones who can’t be there in person. Here are highlights of recent stories.

Mashable

“There’s no denying the pandemic has been hard on everyone, including those who are grieving from the loss of a loved one. In an effort to limit large gatherings, many have had to resort to attending funerals and wakes via livestream.   

But to help keep the memory alive, and to make the loss slightly easier to cope with, is AFTR — a company that offers a line of cemetery cameras that allow you and your family members to visit loved ones’ gravesites right through your phone and tablet, no matter where you are.”

READ THE FULL STORY.

New York Post

“On Wednesday, tech company AFTR launched two weather-resistant, solar-powered cameras that grievers can attach to headstones or place in-ground at gravesites to digitally access their loved ones’ final resting places. Each model costs $499.

The “death care” tech features HD video, night vision, two-way audio and 24/7 streaming access to a gravesite through a mobile- and tablet-compatible app. The app is also intended to be used as a diary, where mourners can save videos, notes, music and photos.”

READ THE FULL STORY HERE.

Connecting Directors

“As the pandemic continues to rage, technology company AFTR has introduced a new category in the growing death care market, a line of cemetery cameras that enable mourners to visit their loved ones’ gravesites virtually through their phone or tablet to help them stay connected. While travel is limited and social distancing is a harsh reality, AFTR helps people overcome physical obstacles to grieving and feel more connected to lost loved ones even when they can’t physically be with them. 

North America is considered the most prominent death care service market because demographic and economic advancement toward customized service requirements are driving growth with the global market expected to reach $102.4 billion in 2020. The U.S. death care market is estimated to reach revenues of around $68 billion by 2023. 

AFTR has developed two all weather cameras, the MountCam and GroundCam, that can be attached to any headstone. The cameras are solar powered, capture HD video and audio and are equipped with night vision and laser technology. Built-in microphones pick up audio and ensure communications are discreet. Both cameras are available for an introductory price of $500. 

The AFTR app, available for iOS and Google, gives users 24/7 streaming access through video and a two-way audio stream via phone or tablet. You can ensure that a loved one’s burial site is being well-tended; you can play music and access photos, videos and notes from the app’s diary. AFTR offers two plans (1) Peace of Mind at $4.99/month captures a photo of the gravesite once a day (2) Stay Connected at $12.99/month allows users to access the AFTR camera stream any time, day or night.

“After losing my father and facing devastating personal loss, I was able to find solace as I looked for ways for me and my siblings to connect with my late father’s memory,” said AFTR founder and CEO Joseph Schechter. “Now more than ever, our goal is to help people stay connected to their loved ones despite geographic boundaries or the virus.” Schechter had been in the camera business for 13 years before founding AFTR, having developed a rear-view camera for trucks.”

READ THE REST HERE.

VentureBeat

“Losing a loved one or friend was difficult enough in the pre-COVID-19 era, with the dual traumas of death and burial. But these challenges have only deepened as the pandemic prevents people from visiting hospitals and participating in services. Today, Brooklyn-based startup AFTR is unveiling hardware and service solutions to make the cemetery experience easier for families. The company is offering two types of gravesite cameras, plus two levels of monthly cellular service that enable either photographic or audio-video virtual visits at any time.

AFTR’s basic premise isn’t just sound; it’s actually very thoughtful. Customers choose between one of two all-weather, solar-charged cameras — the GroundCam or MountCam — that are designed to be permanently installed either in front of the gravestone or on top of it with a telescoping arm. Powered by a high-capacity battery and a persistent 4G cellular connection, each camera can provide a live view of the gravestone and its immediate surroundings, which AFTR refers to as “an eternal connection.” You can decide whether to view this as a new form of public surveillance or a narrowly targeted way to interact with a small and particularly sacred plot of land.”

HERE’S THE REST OF THE STORY.

Cräkn

This blog post by funeral industry blog Cräkn focuses on women leaders in the funeral industry. They included Gail Rubin, who provided this quote about AFTR:

“One new technology that did not exist 10 years ago is AFTR. I’m excited to see this app and new technology providing cemeteries with a way to generate new income from existing burials. It allows families to stay connected with their loved ones through video and audio connections to the final resting place.“

To learn more and purchase an AFTR camera, please visit www.aftr.live. Download the AFTR app for iOS or Google and access AFTR Messaging here. 

Here’s the latest collection of odds and ends of funeral and death related news stories.

Daily Mail (U.K.)

Private investigator turned ‘Coffin Confessor’ who gets paid to gatecrash funerals at the request of the dead reveals how his new job has taken a ‘really bizarre’ turn. You can’t make this stuff up – it happens in real life. Read the full story here.

New York Times

Boom Time for Death Planning: The coronavirus pandemic has drawn new business to start-ups that provide end-of-life services, from estate planning to a final tweet. “Death and dying is possibly the least niche market out there,” said Liz Eddy, co-founder of Lantern.

Click on the skull to read the full story.

Daily Record (U.K.)

Dumfries funeral boss predicts mourners may never see return of packed services. Funeral director Mark Jardine reckons more intimate services for smaller groups of loved ones are a better way of paying tribute. Read the full story here.

Rewire

How to talk to your parents about death. Starting the conversation about medical care and end-of-life wishes can be tough. Tips to get the conversation started in the COVID-19 era.

New York Times

Two more stories! 8 Tips for Writing a Thoughtful Condolence Note is incredibly helpful. Did you know that some of history’s greatest writers sucked at condolence notes? You can do better!

And don’t miss this story about the celebrated writer Dorothy Parker and her wandering cremated remains. Her ashes were interred in a memorial garden behind the NAACP headquarters in Baltimore. With the organization’s upcoming move to Washington, D.C., what happens to her ashes? She already spent years in a filing drawer in an attorney’s office. Click the photo for the full story.

Also, the Funeral Service Foundation is offering free booklets on “Grieving Alone & Together: Responding to the loss of your loved one during the COVID-19 pandemic” and “Youth & Funerals: The importance of memorialization in the lives of youth.” Just pay for shipping. Visit FuneralServiceFoundation.org to learn more.

As part of the groundbreaking virtual death discussion festival Reimagine: Life, Loss & Love, join in an online conversation “What the Dead Want You To Know” on August 29 at 1:00 p.m./12:00 p.m. CDT/11:00 a.m. MDT/10:00 a.m. PDT

Let’s reimagine our fear of death in this fascinating panel discussion with four women who communicate with those who have died – they have good news for you!

During this seemingly endless pandemic, a rumble of fear runs just below the surface of our consciousness. The specter of sickness and death continually threatens our emotional well-being. How can we find a hopeful message in this time of so much death and dread?

In this panel discussion, four remarkable women will help change your perspective on life and death. They bring upbeat messages that death is not final. Those who have crossed over have messages for the living. Want to join the conversation and learn how to receive information from the dead?

The panelists are:

• Judith Fein, journalist and author of How to Communicate With The Dead.
• Annie Mattingley, author of The After Death Chronicles.
• Bethany Paix, spirit release specialist and internationally known Master Energy Channel with AngelsHelpingHumans.com.
• Andrea Campbell, psychotherapist.

The event will be facilitated by Gail Rubin, Certified Thanatologist and The Doyenne of Death® with www.AGoodGoodbye.com. Gail is also the coordinator of the Before I Die New Mexico Festival.

REGISTER FOR THE REIMAGINE EVENT HERE.

Video Preview

These four women participated in a Before I Die New Mexico Festival event in 2019, titled “Is There Life After Death?” Watch the video of that discussion here.

The Reimagine festival has been extended to September 1, 2020. A Good Goodbye is collaborating with event hosts around the world to co-create this much-needed exploration of death-related topics. Events focus on embracing life, facing death, and loving fully, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic.

What do funeral directors, cemeterians and celebrants do during the course of a day? Here’s a hint: no day is the same!

On August 9, 2020, at 2:00 p.m. EDT/ 1:00 p.m. CDT/ 12:00 p.m. MDT/ 11:00 a.m. PDT, join in a fascinating online conversation, “A Day in the Life of the Business of Death.” This free event is part of the groundbreaking virtual death discussion festival Reimagine: Life, Loss & Love. The festival has been extended to September 1, 2020. 

A Good Goodbye is collaborating with event hosts around the world to co-create this much-needed exploration of death-related topics. Events focus on embracing life, facing death, and loving fully, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Heather Leigh, General Manager of Greenhaven Memorial Gardens in Elgin, SC, is also a Certified Funeral Celebrant and Grief Recovery Specialist. She walks with families through the death of a loved one and creates unique, personalized memorial services.

Join in this conversation with Gail Rubin, Certified Thanatologist and pioneering death educator, as she and Heather discuss topics such as:

• Body disposition choices: more than burial and cremation – what options are available where.
• What do you do with men who say, “Just throw me in a ditch, I’ll be dead.”?
• Common questions that people ask about funerals, cremation, and working with the dead.
• What’s a Certified Funeral Celebrant and how do they work with families?
• Funerals, memorial services, celebrations of life – what’s the point?
• How to have “the conversation” with your family and why it’s important.

REGISTER FOR THE EVENT HERE.

Gail Rubin and Heather Leigh will also hold a virtual conversation as part of the Before I Die New Mexico Festival in October/November, 2020. Learn more about the festival here.

Hearses, funeral coaches, casket carriages, dead wagons – whatever you call them, these vehicles are an object of fascination. In this collection of film and television clips, @Gail Rubin presents Hearses Through History. The various body disposition vehicles featured include the humble plague cart, horse-drawn hearses, and automobiles from several eras.

These clips come from the following films and television programs. You can get the DVDs or streaming version through these Amazon affiliate links:

Six Feet Under from HBO (first episode and later in the five-season series) Get the full series – https://bit.ly/6FeetDVDSet

Monty Python and The Holy Grail (“Bring out your dead!”): https://bit.ly/MPandHolyGrail

Amadeus (Spoiler alert – Mozart dies at the end): https://bit.ly/AmadeusMovie

The Magnificent Seven (“Never rode shotgun on a hearse before.”): https://bit.ly/MagnificentSevenFilm

Wild Strawberries (classic Ingmar Bergman film with creepy runaway horse-drawn hearse scene): https://bit.ly/StrawberriesBergman

A funeral director vocational training film from the 1940s, featuring a side-loading funeral coach door where the pallbearers line up at the side of the vehicle.

Death at a Funeral (U.K. version with a British hearse): https://bit.ly/DAAFUK

Harold and Maude (featuring two hearses, a classic 1950s Cadillac and the Jaguar that Harold turns into a mini-hearse): https://bit.ly/HearseHM

Diamonds are Forever (1971 funeral coach in Las Vegas, Nevada): https://bit.ly/DiamondsForeverHearse

Get Low (features a 1938 automobile hearse): https://bit.ly/GetLowFilm

Grand Theft Parsons (Meet Bernice, a Cadillac Superior Royale funeral coach): https://bit.ly/GTPHearse

And lastly, a visit with Robert Durant, a funeral coach dealer with a top-of-the-line model with a great sound system! View the full video here:

Watch this video about how Ken Roberts made this recreation of the Jaguar hearse from Harold and Maude.

At A Good Goodbye, we are always on the lookout for news and information that can help you plan ahead for end-of-life issues. Here is a collection of recent news stories about the coronavirus pandemic, grief, body disposition, and advance medical directives.

CBC: Funeral restrictions impact mourning

(June 9, 2020) There is never an easy time to have a loved one die, but the COVID-19 pandemic is making those difficult times that much harder.

The pandemic has restricted public gatherings across Canada, and funerals are not exempt. On P.E.I. (Prince Edward Island), public gatherings are limited to 15 people inside and 20 outside.

“People are saying they feel like they’re going to have to grieve twice,” said Nancymarie Arsenault, executive director of Hospice P.E.I.

“Not that there is a timeline to any kind of grieving, but that immediate loss, and not being able to participate in what is hugely important.”

Funerals, wakes, and celebrations of life are a big part of community on the Island. Queues to get into a wake at a funeral home can extend around the block.

Read the full story here.

BBC: Coronavirus: How funerals under lockdown have “felt incomplete”

Meanwhile, across the Pond, the same feelings are being felt in the U.K. as you can read in this June 28, 2020 story from the BBC:

The coronavirus pandemic has put extra pressure on many workers, not least those involved in funerals, as they have struggled to cope with the strain the thousands of deaths have put on their industry.

About 21,000 people work in the sector and the National Association of Funeral Directors said its members have had to deal with 58,000 more deaths since March than they saw on average in the same period over the last five years.

David Barrington, who runs a funeral directors in Wirral, said he has found it “very hard” as the restrictions imposed by government and local councils have meant not a single mourner has “had the funeral they wanted”.

Government guidance states the number of mourners at services should be “as low as possible”; in Wirral, 15 people are allowed to attend, while in neighbouring Liverpool, the number is 10.

Mr Barrington said those restrictions have made it hard for families.

“If you can only invite 10 people, which 10 do you invite? If you’re a family of 14, how do you pick the 10?”

Read the full story here.

New York Times: Black Weddings (not what you think)

In Israel, a recent surge in coronavirus cases was tied to more than 2,000 weddings held between June 15 to June 25. In New York City in 1918, a very large wedding took place — not in spite of the Spanish flu epidemic ravaging the city but precisely because of it.

The strange gathering in a Queens cemetery was known as a shvartse khasene, or “black wedding,” a Jewish ritual from Eastern Europe. The wedding among the dead was designed to help stop the epidemic. Read about it here.

NPR: If You’re Grieving Right Now, Here Are 5 Shows That Get It

In this difficult time, television shows have emerged as a surprising resource, with important examples of how people process grief and handle journeys of loss. An increasing number of fictional dramas and comedy series center on characters struggling with grief in raw and emotional ways, which some experts say can actually help all of us learn how to process those feelings better.

This NPR story by Eric Deggans looks at five TV shows that capture the zeitgeist.

CNET.com: A Short History of Alkaline Hydrolysis

CNET ran this in-depth story about alkaline hydrolysis on June 1, 2020: The misunderstood funeral tech that’s illegal in 30 states. Alkaline hydrolysis is a form of cremation that uses water and chemicals to break down the human body to its bare minimum. Salts, amino acids, peptides. Like flame-based cremation, it produces ash that can be taken home. So why isn’t it available in every U.S. state? This story is part of CNET’s The Future of Funerals series.

The Guardian: Is there a better way to die?

(July 5, 2020) Coronavirus has taken the lives of thousands in the UK, but few had made their end-of-life wishes known to NHS staff. Will the pandemic change our attitudes to death? This article beautifully details the benefits of preparing your advance medical directives.

Stay safe, wash your hands and wear a mask in public!

Downsizing Your Stuff

Every Wednesday, the Jewish Community Center of Greater Albuquerque holds a coffee event for schmoozing with friends. They also feature speakers at these coffee klatches. The coronavirus pandemic has forced the JCC to take this comforting routine and make it a virtual event online.

This Wednesday, July 8, 2020, join with your friends for the JCC’s Virtual Coffee Hour from 10:30 to 11:30 a.m. with Gail Rubin, Certified Thanatologist and The Doyenne of Death®. She’s also the author of KICKING THE BUCKET LIST: 100 Downsizing and Organizing Things to Do Before You Die.

During this coffee hour, Gail will talk about how you can use your time sheltering in place at home to clear out the clutter, improve your living spaces, and in the process, improve your life. And, as time allows, Gail will answer questions about planning ahead for end-of-life issues.

Register to get onto the Zoom call through this page at the JCC’s website, jccabq.org, or send an email request to mayas@jccagq.org.

About Gail Rubin, CT

Gail Rubin, CT, is a pioneering death educator who uses humor, funny film clips and outside-the-box activities to teach about end-of-life topics. An award-winning speaker, she “knocked ’em dead” at TEDxABQ in 2015.

She’s the author of three books on end-of-life issues:

• A GOOD GOODBYE: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die,
• HAIL AND FAREWELL: Cremation Ceremonies, Templates and Tips, and
• KICKING THE BUCKET LIST: 100 Downsizing and Organizing Things to Do Before You Die.

She’s also an informed advocate for planning ahead, a Certified Funeral Celebrant, and the coordinator of the Before I Die New Mexico Festival. Albuquerque Business First recognized her as one of their 2019 Women of Influence. Download a free 50-point Executor’s Checklist from her website, www.AGoodGoodbye.com.

Albuquerque Death Cafes are being held online for the duration of the pandemic crisis.

The next online ABQ Death Cafe will take place on Zoom on Sunday, July 19 from 3:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. Mountain Daylight Time. To get the link to participate, send a note to Gail [at] AGoodGoodbye.com and let her know you’d like to join in the conversation.

About Death Cafes

The objective of the Death Cafe is “To increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives.”  It’s all about an interesting, unstructured conversation – open and free-flowing with no specific agenda.

The Death Cafe concept was started in the United Kingdom by Jon Underwood. He was influenced by the ideas of Swiss sociologist Bernard Crettaz, who started holding Cafe Mortel events in France and Switzerland. At these events, people come together in a relaxed, confidential and safe setting to discuss death, drink tea (or your favorite beverage) and eat delicious cake or cookies. 

Sadly, Jon Underwood died suddenly three years ago at the age of 44 from a brain hemorrhage. It was caused by undiagnosed acute promyelocytic leukemia, a cancer of the white blood cells. 

Jon’s mother Sue Barsky Reid and Jon’s sister Jools Barsky have continued his Death Cafe work, as Jon requested. To date, the Death Cafe movement has grown to more than 11,209 events in 73 countries worldwide (as of July 2, 2020). For information on how to hold a Death Cafe in your community, review the information at www.DeathCafe.com.

Albuquerque was the site of the second Death Cafe held in the United States. Gail Rubin hosted this pioneering event in September of 2012. Lizzy Miles held the first Death Cafe outside the U.K. in Columbus, Ohio in August of 2012.

Upcoming ABQ Death Cafes

Here is the schedule of upcoming Sunday afternoon Albuquerque Death Cafes, to be held online for the foreseeable future.

• August 16, 2020
• September 13, 2020
• October 11, 2020
• November 22, 2020
• December 20, 2020

Join The Meetup Group

To keep in the loop on upcoming Death Cafes, join the Albuquerque Death Cafe Meetup group. You’ll receive notice of upcoming events. Click here to go to the Meetup page.

Your ABQ Death Cafe Host

Albuquerque Death Cafes are hosted by Gail Rubin, Certified Thanatologist, and a pioneering death educator. Rubin is a public speaker, a published author of three books, host of a TV interview series and podcast, a blogger, a funeral industry trade journalist, a Certified Funeral Celebrant, and an innovator in the funeral business.

She created a conversation-starting game called The Newly-Dead Game®, introduced the Death Café movement in the United States, and held the first Before I Die Festival west of the Mississippi in 2017. Albuquerque Business First named her one of their 2019 Women of Influence.

Historic Fairview Cemetery, established in Albuquerque, NM in 1881, is run by a local nonprofit organization. On Sunday morning, June 28, volunteers helped weed out tumbleweeds in the cemetery and removed litter.

They worked to keep the 12,000 deceased people buried there from being overwhelmed by tumbleweeds later in the year. There was also a ceremony to replace the tattered American flag with a new one, honoring the military and non-military residents of Historic Fairview Cemetery.

KRQE-TV News Coverage

(KRQE) – For years, Historic Fairview Cemetery has been known for the overgrown weeds and litter, but now a non-profit is working to revitalize it. It’s one of the oldest cemeteries in Albuquerque, started in 1881, there are 12,000 bodies buried at the Historic Fairview Cemetery on Yale.

“We have some very notable people who are buried here not only New Mexicans but on a national level,” said Gail Rubin, the president of the Historic Fairview Cemetery Non-profit. For years, the cemetery hasn’t been known for its rich history, rather for its unkempt grounds.

“Right now, it looks like an empty cemetery that nobody cares about, so homeless people come here, there’s graffiti on the walls,” said Christine Taute, about the cemetery in 2014. Now, the Historic Fairview Cemetery Non-profit is working to change that.

Twice each month, volunteers go out to the graveyard and clean up the weeds and any litter. Anthony Gomez is one of those volunteers, he says before the program, he’s been helping clean here on his own for three years.

“I enjoy cleaning up with respect to these people,” said Gomez. He says the volunteering led him to something he’d spent years searching for, his father’s burial site. Gomez says he never expected to find his dad at Fairview, but it’s one more reason he’ll keep coming back to help clean it up, so others can enjoy visiting their families and ancestors.

Join the email list for Historic Fairview Cemetery to be kept apprised of future clean up events!

On July 1, join in the online conversation introducing AFTR, technology that helps with modern-day mourning. With funerals and in-person interactions impacted by social distancing, AFTR provides a new way to stay connected. This event is part of Reimagine: Life, Loss & Love, a Worldwide Virtual Festival.

Virtual Visits: A New Concept in After Death Care, takes place at noon EDT/9:00 a.m. PDT on Wednesday, July 1. Sign up at this page to participate.

Funerals, memorial services and mourning have been dramatically affected by social distancing requirements to fight the coronavirus pandemic. With mourning traditions disrupted, new technology and apps can help us stay connected to our loved ones in meaningful ways.

How can technology help? Join in this virtual conversation with Joseph Schechter, founder and CEO of AFTR in New York City, Omer Haim, AFTR’s Director of Global Business Operations in Tel Aviv, and Gail Rubin, Certified Thanatologist and The Doyenne of Death in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

AFTR has created an app to virtually visit the resting places of loved ones, using solar-powered cameras in cemeteries. They also offer AFTR Messaging, enabling people to share digital messages and videos with loved ones after death has occurred. Learn how you can stay connected forever.

Reimagine: Life, Loss, & Love is a global community of interested artists, storytellers, healthcare professionals, innovators, designers, faith and community leaders, organizations and individuals, banding together to launch a Worldwide Virtual Festival on embracing life, facing death, and loving fully, during COVID-19 to amplify the end-of-life conversation. Review and register for all Festival events here.