Video: New Trends in Cemeteries

“Where the Bodies are Buried: New Trends in Cemeteries” was a panel discussion during the 2020 Before I Die NM Virtual Festival. This session, which brought together leading-edge cemeterians (people who run cemeteries) from across the United States. Here are highlights from the panelists’ presentations.

Among the topics covered: addressing the rise in cremation, green burial, pet cemeteries, public education on options for cremated remains, and events that have drawn community attention and support.  The panel was moderated by Gail Rubin, Certified Thanatologist, the Doyenne of Death®, and coordinator of the Before I Die New Mexico Virtual Festival.

Cremation Garden in Sunset Memorial Park

Sunset Memorial Park

Chris Keller, Sunset Memorial Park, Albuquerque, NM spoke about their pioneering Scatter Day event. People can place cremated remains in their cemetery cremation gardens and ossuary for free. A full 20% of families have cremated remains in their homes, often because they don’t know what to do with them. When they came to Scatter Day, they learned of their options and many families opted to buy upgraded placement opportunities. Even with those who took advantage of the free placement, it creates a connection between the cemetery and the family that didn’t exist before. To date, 1,500 families have become connected.

Sunset Memorial Park also provides cenotaph options to families, a way to offer memorialization without the body or remains. They also have a pet burial area where the cremated remains of people can be interred with the cremated remains of their pets. They also have a pet ossuary and cenotaph area just for pets. And the cemetery encourages Christmas Eve luminarias, a popular activity in New Mexico. The memorial park is very busy on Christmas Eve. www.Sunset-Memorial.com

Woodland burial is popular at Paxtang Cemetery.

Paxtang Cemetery

Alesia Skinner, Paxtang Cemetery, Harrisburg, PA spoke about creating a green burial area in their cemetery. In 2014 they set aside a third of their acreage to preserve woodlands for burial. Paxtang was the first cemetery in Pennsylvania to open up for green burial. They also feature gardens throughout the cemetery that provide flowers for natural burials. They are also working to restore woodland areas with their natural burials where trees can be planted on the grave. Markers are made of natural materials, such as boulders or river rocks.

“Every time they purchase a plot here, families are actually reinvesting in the green space, keeping it green, making sure that those paths still exist for future won’t be developed and it’s this great community green space,” said Skinner.

Paxtang also has a pet cemetery area called Happy Tails. www.PaxtangCemetery.com

Congressional Cemetery

Congressional Cemetery cenotaphs

Paul Williams, with Historic Congressional Cemetery, Washington, D.C., has a number of creative programs in place to involve the community and raise funds for the nonprofit organization that runs the cemetery. The 35-acre cemetery was established in 1807 and is located 18 blocks from the U.S. Capitol.

He showed a photo of the unique cenotaphs for Congressmen that were installed from 1807 until they were discontinued in 1876. Because the cenotaphs were assigned by the date of death, Henry Clay and John C. Calhoun, who hated each other in real life, have side-by-side memorials. Some of the famous residents include Civil War photographer Matthew Brady, the March King John Philip Sousa, FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover, and Washington, D.C.’s mayor Marion Barry.

They do a lot of fundraisers throughout the year. They have 1,500 people participate in a 5-K Pride Race through the cemetery. They have movies in the summer and held goat yoga classes with baby goats frolicking with the participants. Their annual Soul Stroll event features the stories of famous and not-so-famous permanent residents in the cemetery, recreated by actors. They also allow green burial throughout the cemetery, which is considered a hybrid burial ground in Green Burial Council parlance.

And the greatest support program they have is their dog walking program. They allow 800 dogs per year to be registered, and the participants have to follow all sorts of rules. They have a waiting list of 400 to join, and it can take 4 years to go through the waitlist. This single program raises $250,000 every year. They also opened a pet burial area in the cemetery called Kingdom of Animals. www.CongressionalCemetery.org

Fairview and Vista Verde Memorial Parks

9-11 Memorial in Vista Verde Memorial Park.

Joshua McManigal, Fairview Memorial Park, Albuquerque, and Vista Verde Memorial Park, Rio Rancho, NM, spoke about several programs between the two cemeteries. He shared information about the Rosary Garden in Fairview, which helps raise awareness among Catholic families who choose cremation about the importance of interring the remains in a consecrated cemetery space. It offers a range of options, including in-ground burial and niche placement in a columbarium. A string of large granite orbs replicates a rosary that visitors can pray as they walk the garden.

In Fairview, they also hold an annual event honoring the unclaimed and indigent dead in Bernalillo County. Annually, they will honor and bury the cremated remains of 100 or more people. They also participate in the Forgotten Heros program that takes the cremated remains of veterans for interment in the Santa Fe National Cemetery. www.FairviewMemorialParkABQ.com

At Vista Verde, they hold an annual September 11 memorial service at a memorial sculpture dedicated to the lives lost that day. The event is held the Friday before September 11, and they place 2,996 flags in the cemetery to represent all of those killed in the terrorist attacks that day. “Even though New Mexico’s so far removed from New York and Pennsylvania and Washington, it’s amazing how many people will come to this event to remember those or tell stories,” said McManigal. www.VistaVerdeMemorialPark.com

Greenhaven Memorial Gardens

Heather Leigh, Manager of Greenhaven Memorial Park, and Funeral Celebrant.

Heather Leigh, Greenhaven Memorial Gardens, Elgin, SC, has a number of creative outreach programs at her cemetery. At Christmas, they hold a campfire and invite all families who have lost a loved one that year to come and share stories around the fire. People realize how therapeutic and helpful it is to tell these stories and preserve the history.

She started a green burial area in the cemetery. They started offering new options for statuary, different memorial markers, and architectural pieces. They also offer a cremated remains scattering area in their traditional burial areas. Another popular offering is the live dove releases that take place at burials.

Greenhaven has a Heroes Burial flag retirement program that they do in partnership with Woodmen of the World. U.S. flags that have been passed along and lost their meaning to the people who inherited them are cremated with veterans and the grommets that survive the cremation are polished and handed out at ceremonies. They also hold an annual “Trunk or Treat” program at Halloween. Decorated cars line up throughout the cemetery. Costumed children traipse through the cemetery and receive treats from each vehicle. The kids love it and it makes families more comfortable with visiting the cemetery. www.GreenhavenMemorialGardens.com

AFTR

Joseph Schechter, founder of AFTR, in Brooklyn, NY, talked about the pioneering camera and smart phone app he created to connect people to their loved ones in the cemetery. He created this technology after Schechter’s sister was distraught that she couldn’t make it back to New York City for the first anniversary of their father’s death, to be with her family and pay her respects in person.

AFTR was founded in 2018 and debuted to the public and the death care industry in 2020. They developed two all-weather cameras, the MountCam and GroundCam, that can be attached to any headstone or gravesite. The cameras are solar powered, capture HD video and audio and are equipped with night vision and laser technology. Built-in microphones pick up audio and ensure communications are discreet.

The app, available on Apple and Android devices, works on all LTE networks. It includes a connection to Spotify accounts, so people can share favorite songs and music while visiting with their loved one. There’s a diary section to record thoughts and milestone events with text, video or audio. There’s also a time lapse feature, so subscribers can watch a compilation of once-a-day images of the headstone that traces time going by in the cemetery. www.AFTR.live

Before I Die Virtual Festival Videos and Sponsors

This video and many others from the 2020 Before I Die New Mexico Virtual Festival are available at the Festival Videos page here.

The Before I Die New Mexico Virtual Festival was made possible by:

• A Good Goodbye – Gail Rubin puts the “fun” in funeral planning. www.AGoodGoodbye.com
• AFTR – a new way to stay connected with loved ones, anytime, anywhere. www.AFTR.live
• AquamationInfo.com – learn about alkaline hydrolysis, an eco-friendly, alternative to flame cremation.
• Compassion & Choices – offering care and choice at the end of life. www.CompassionAndChoices.org
• Daniels Family Funerals & Cremations, Fairview Memorial Park, Gabaldon Mortuary and Vista Verde Memorial Park in Albuquerque; Avista Cremation & Burial in Santa Fe; DeVargas Funeral Home & Crematory in Espanola and in Taos.
• EstatePros LLC – offering professional dispersal of personal possessions due to a move, illness or death. www.EstateProsNM.com
• French Funerals & Cremations and Sunset Memorial Park in Albuquerque.
• Keeper – keeping memories alive with online tributes to preserve, celebrate and share life legacies. www.MyKeeper.com

A portion of the sponsorship proceeds and ticket sales from the Before I Die NM Virtual Festival are donated to 501(c)(3) charitable partners Fathers Building Futures, making “caskets for a cause” (www.FathersBuildingFutures.org), and Albuquerque’s Historic Fairview Cemetery, est. 1881 (www.HistoricFairviewCemeteryABQ.org).

The post Video: New Trends in Cemeteries first appeared on A Good Goodbye ~ Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die.

The Blue Screen of Death by Richard Thompson

The next Albuquerque Death Cafe will take place ONLINE on Sunday, December 20, 2020, 3:00 to 5:00 p.m. Mountain Standard Time. Due to self-distancing imposed by the coronavirus pandemic, we will meet through Zoom. RSVP to Gail [at] AGoodGoodbye.com to receive the link for the meeting.

The objective of the Death Cafe is “to increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives.” It’s an interesting, unstructured conversation with no specific agenda. The Death Cafe offers a relaxed, confidential and safe setting to discuss death. We drink tea (or your favorite beverage) and eat delicious cake or cookies.

Please provide your own refreshments. Have a cup of tea or coffee and a cookie or other snack handy.

The Death Cafe concept was started in the United Kingdom by Jon Underwood. He was influenced by the ideas of Swiss sociologist Bernard Crettaz, who started holding Cafe Mortel events in France and Switzerland. Albuquerque was the first city in the U.S. west of the Mississippi to hold a Death Cafe. Gail Rubin hosted it in September, 2012.

For more information about Death Cafes, visit this page at AGoodGoodbye.com or visit www.DeathCafe.com. Join the Albuquerque Death Cafe Meetup group to be kept apprised of upcoming events. Click here to go to the Meetup page.

Your Death Cafe Host

Gail Rubin, Certified Thanatologist, hosts the Albuquerque Death Cafe. She is a pioneering death educator. Rubin is a public speaker, a published author of three books, host of a TV interview series and podcast, a blogger, a funeral industry trade journalist, a Certified Funeral Celebrant, and an innovator in the funeral business. She created a conversation-starting game called The Newly-Dead Game®, introduced the Death Café movement in the United States, and held the first Before I Die Festival west of the Mississippi in 2017. Albuquerque Business First named her one of their 2019 Women of Influence.

The post December 20 Online Death Cafe first appeared on A Good Goodbye ~ Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die.

How can you hold meaningful, memorable memorial activities, especially with the restrictions of a global pandemic? Kyle Tevlin, founder of I Want a Fun Funeral, spoke about “Raising the Bar on Our Funeral Traditions” at the fourth annual Before I Die New Mexico Virtual Festival.

A Lesson in a Cartoon

She showed a cartoon featuring two homo sapiens making cave paintings. The father had drawn a stick figure animal and the son had produced an illustration of a deer. The father says, “No Og, no! That’s not how we’ve always done it.”

“This is my analogy for funerals,” Tevlin explained. “We have this picture of what we think is great and we have no idea that there was something so much better, more elegant, and beautiful.”

Tevlin suggests making a memorial service a project that can help make the world a better place, take on a life of its own, and preserve the story of a loved one. She shared the inspiring example of Aaron Collins.

Aaron Collins died on July 7, 2012 at the age of 30. He left a note requesting that his family go out to eat and leave an “awesome tip,” suggesting $500 for a pizza. The experience was recorded and uploaded to YouTube by Aaron’s brother, Seth.

Generous people all over the world donated to reproduce “Aaron’s Last Wish” again and again. More than $60,000 was raised, Seth gave $500 tips to more than 100 waiters and waitresses. As a result, Aaron’s life story gets told over and over.

“From sadness and tragedy, now his family gets to talk about that loss with joy, a smile, and Aaron becomes a superhero who makes people happy,” said Tevlin. “This all only happened because Aaron Collins wrote this down ahead of time. The family only planned to do it once, but that’s all the more reason to do something little, because you don’t know where it’s going to take you.”

Tips for Engaging Memorial Actions

So, what do you do to be an engaged creator of a good goodbye? Tevlin recommends these seven tips to raise the bar on our funeral traditions.

1. Brainstorm an objective for what you will do to honor a person. Find a theme, a vision related to the essence of that person. An objective makes it easier for people to contribute, participate, and generate a wonderful memory.
2. Make your person’s personality shine, keyed to a hobby, passion, trait or quirk everyone will recognize. It can be fun or solemn, anything that is fitting.
3. Decide the scope of the tribute, from an event for immediate family to a global affair on the Internet. Bigger isn’t necessarily better, but step outside your comfort zone a bit for a greater reward.
4. “Roll Up Your Sleeves” means DIY as much as possible, enlisting the talents, contributions, creative ideas and resources within your circle. Involvement is where the bonding happens.
5. Enjoy the process. While sadness is unavoidable, these activities should bring joy. It’s a way of thanking the person for being in your life, warming your heart and providing an uplifting feeling.
6. Perfection is not required. Do what you can in whatever way you can, generating personal engagement and emotional connections.
7. There’s no time limit. Whatever the action or event, it does not need to be done immediately. It can easily be held on an anniversary, birthday, or other meaningful date.

Whatever is done in honor of a loved one, make it an event. Give it a name. Almost any activity can be made into a contest, which is practically guaranteed to be fun and memorable.

You can watch Kyle Tevlin’s talk, as well as other speakers and panel discussions from the Festival, at the Festival Videos page at www.BeforeIDieNM.com. To obtain her tips in PDF format, send a note to Gail@AGoodGoodbye.com.

About Gail Rubin, CT

Gail Rubin, CT, The Doyenne of Death®

Gail Rubin, Certified Thanatologist and The Doyenne of Death®, is a pioneering death educator. She uses humor, funny film clips, and outside-the-box activities to teach about planning ahead for end-of-life. She coordinates the Before I Die New Mexico Festival, which won first place in the ICCFA’s 2018 KIP Award for Best Event. She’s also the author of three books on end-of-life issues and a Certified Funeral Celebrant.

The post Kyle Tevlin on How to Create Meaningful Memorial Activities first appeared on A Good Goodbye ~ Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die.

The Blue Screen of Death by Richard Thompson

The next Albuquerque Death Cafe will take place ONLINE on Sunday, November 22, 2020, 3:00 to 5:00 p.m. Mountain Standard Time. Due to self-distancing imposed by the coronavirus pandemic, we will meet through Zoom. RSVP to Gail [at] AGoodGoodbye.com to receive the link for the meeting.

Please provide your own refreshments. Have a cup of tea or coffee and a cookie or other snack handy.

The objective of the Death Cafe is “to increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives.” It’s an interesting, unstructured conversation with no specific agenda. The Death Cafe offers a relaxed, confidential and safe setting to discuss death. We drink tea (or your favorite beverage) and eat delicious cake or cookies.

The Death Cafe concept was started in the United Kingdom by Jon Underwood. He was influenced by the ideas of Swiss sociologist Bernard Crettaz, who started holding Cafe Mortel events in France and Switzerland. Albuquerque was the first city in the U.S. west of the Mississippi to hold a Death Cafe. Gail Rubin hosted it in September, 2012.

For more information about Death Cafes, visit this page at AGoodGoodbye.com or visit www.DeathCafe.com. Join the Albuquerque Death Cafe Meetup group to be kept apprised of upcoming events. Click here to go to the Meetup page.

Your Death Cafe Host

Gail Rubin, Certified Thanatologist, hosts the Albuquerque Death Cafe. She is a pioneering death educator. Rubin is a public speaker, a published author of three books, host of a TV interview series and podcast, a blogger, a funeral industry trade journalist, a Certified Funeral Celebrant, and an innovator in the funeral business. She created a conversation-starting game called The Newly-Dead Game®, introduced the Death Café movement in the United States, and held the first Before I Die Festival west of the Mississippi in 2017. Albuquerque Business First named her one of their 2019 Women of Influence.

Learn more about Gail and the Before I Die New Mexico Festival here.

The post November 22: Online Death Cafe first appeared on A Good Goodbye ~ Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die.

Karen Hyatt, founder of Estate Pros New Mexico, presents “Property Reincarnation: Giving New Life to the ‘Stuff’ of our Lives.” This one-hour presentation features insights into how to tackle clutter and downsizing, valuation of goods and furniture, and dramatic Before and After photos of clients’ places where Estate Pros worked their magic.

Karen provides great information about getting valuations and deciding what to do with jewelry, currency, stamps, furniture, silver, books, art materials, records/DVDs, pottery, clocks, clothing, artwork, antiques, memorabilia, and collectibles. Don’t miss the John Deere tractor story! She also talks about digital ways to provide information to family members. Don’t forget to back up the information on your computers so you don’t lose information in a crash!

Estate Pros LLC offers professional and confidential assistance directly to families, beneficiaries, banking and legal professionals, and through professional organizations for the dispersal of personal possessions from a loved one due to a move, illness or death. ​ Estate Pros develops a comprehensive strategy to carefully sort, purge, organize, package, ship, donate and sell all accumulated physical belongings. Their fully trained and compassionate staff will work with you to carefully handle all material items, including family keepsakes and valuable artifacts. Estate Pros serves northern New Mexico. Learn more at www.EstateProsNM.com.

The presentation is hosted by Gail Rubin, CT, the Doyenne of Death and coordinator of the Before I Die NM Virtual Festival. Videos of 18 Festival events plus additional panel discussions from past years, how-to videos and behind-the-scenes tours are being posted at the Festival’s video page. The videos cover topics such as new trends in funerals and cemeteries, green burial, obituary writing, estate planning, creating memorable, meaningful memorial services, life after death, preparing advance healthcare directives, medical aid-in-dying, downsizing, and New Mexico’s Office of the Medical Investigator (OMI).

2020 Festival Sponsors

Thank you to these sponsors of the 2020 Before I Die New Mexico Virtual Festival:

• A Good Goodbye – Gail Rubin puts the “fun” in funeral planning. www.AGoodGoodbye.com
• AFTR – a new way to stay connected with loved ones, anytime, anywhere. www.AFTR.live
• AquamationInfo.com –  learn about alkaline hydrolysis, an eco-friendly, alternative to flame cremation.
• Compassion & Choices – offering care and choice at the end of life. www.CompassionAndChoices.org
• Daniels Family Funerals & Cremations,Fairview Memorial Park, Gabaldon Mortuary in Albuquerque,Vista Verde Memorial Park in Rio Rancho; Avista Cremation & Burial in Santa Fe; DeVargas Funeral Home & Crematory in Espanola andin Taos.
• EstatePros LLC – offering professional dispersal of personal possessions due to a move, illness or death. www.EstateProsNM.com
• French Funerals & Cremations and Sunset Memorial Park in Albuquerque.
• Keeper – keeping memories alive with online tributes to preserve, celebrate and share life legacies. www.MyKeeper.com

A portion of the sponsorship proceeds and ticket sales from the Before I Die NM Virtual Festival will be donated to these 501(c)(3) charitable partners:

• Fathers Building Futures, making “caskets for a cause” (www.FathersBuildingFutures.com), and
• Albuquerque’s Historic Fairview Cemetery, established 1881 (www.HistoricFairviewCemeteryABQ.org).

The post Video: Property Reincarnation with Karen Hyatt of Estate Pros first appeared on A Good Goodbye ~ Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die.

In this video, Heather Moulton, author of the new book, Graveyards of the Wild West: New Mexico, discusses several old cemeteries in New Mexico. She also shares examples of pictures in the book, taken by photographer Susan Tatterson. The graveyards in small towns across New Mexico featured in this talk include Fort Sumner Cemetery and the grave of Billy the Kid, Shakespeare Cemetery in Lordsburg, Memory Lane Cemetery in Silver City, and cemeteries along U.S. Route 60, including in Quemado, Pie Town, Willard and Encino.

New Mexico is one of several states that make up the Wild West in the United States. New Mexico became a territory in 1853 and was later admitted into the Union on January 6, 1912, but it had a long, exciting history before that. The state that would become New Mexico was, like so much of the West, originally inhabited by Native Americans and, in the sixteenth century, colonized by Spain as part of Mexico. After the Mexican-American War (1846-1848), the United States acquired the land that eventually became Texas, New Mexico, Utah, Nevada, Arizona, and California.

As with other Southwest states, gold and other precious metals were found in the nineteenth century, and pioneers, miners, cowboys, and outlaws converged on the Territory. Of course, with an influx of population comes a new need for graveyards. The cemeteries of the pioneer, mining, and cowboy towns carry on even as the towns have fallen to ruins. Some New Mexico graveyards linger in obscurity while others are cashing in on the area’s legends. Regardless of their conditions, the cemeteries offer powerful and precious reminders of New Mexico’s wild history.

Graveyards of the Wild West: New Mexico (Amazon affiliate link) invites you to learn not only about New Mexico’s past, but to see it and meet the people whose spirit of adventure led them to live and die in an idyllic and untamed territory.

The interviewer is Gail Rubin, CT, the Doyenne of Death and coordinator of the Before I Die New Mexico Virtual Festival. This video is one of the Zoom events in the fourth annual Festival, which took place October 30 to November 2, 2020. Festival sessions from 2020 and previous years’ festivals are available for free at www.BeforeIDieNM.com/festival-videos.

Festival Sponsors

The Before I Die New Mexico Virtual Festival was made possible by:

• A Good Goodbye – Gail Rubin puts the “fun” in funeral planning. www.AGoodGoodbye.com
• AFTR – a new way to stay connected with loved ones, anytime, anywhere. www.AFTR.live
• AquamationInfo.com – learn about alkaline hydrolysis, an eco-friendly, alternative to flame cremation.
• Compassion & Choices – offering care and choice at the end of life. www.CompassionAndChoices.org
• Daniels Family Funerals & Cremations,Fairview Memorial Park, Gabaldon Mortuary and Vista Verde Memorial Park in Albuquerque; Avista Cremation & Burial in Santa Fe; DeVargas Funeral Home & Crematory in Espanola andin Taos.
• EstatePros LLC – offering professional dispersal of personal possessions due to a move, illness or death. www.EstateProsNM.com
• French Funerals & Cremations and Sunset Memorial Park in Albuquerque.
• Keeper – keeping memories alive with online tributes to preserve, celebrate and share life legacies. www.MyKeeper.com

A portion of the sponsorship proceeds and ticket sales from the Before I Die NM Virtual Festival are donated to 501(c)(3) charitable partners Fathers Building Futures, making “caskets for a cause” (www.FathersBuildingFutures.com), and Albuquerque’s Historic Fairview Cemetery, est. 1881 (www.HistoricFairviewCemeteryABQ.org).

The post Video: Graveyards of the Wild West: New Mexico first appeared on A Good Goodbye ~ Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die.

Funeral directors and cemeterians highlight several of the 26 live events being held during the 4th annual Before I Die New Mexico Virtual Festival. The online event takes place October 30 to November 2, 2020, with tickets available at BeforeIDieNM.com.

People in the funeral and cemetery businesses need to be a part of these conversations.

Friday, Oct. 30: Where the Bodies are Buried

There are people who are successfully operating cemeteries in a changing environment. In this panel discussion, learn about new approaches to cemetery use, creative community outreach, and income enhancements. Join these cemeterians for a discussion at 12:00 p.m. EDT/11:00 a.m. CDT/10:00 a.m. MDT/9:00 a.m. PDT:

• Chris Keller, Sunset Memorial Park, Albuquerque, NM
• Joshua McManigal, Fairview Memorial Park, Albuquerque, and Vista Verde Memorial Park, Rio Rancho, NM
• Paul Williams, Historic Congressional Cemetery, Washington, D.C.
• Heather Leigh, Greenhaven Memorial Gardens, Elgin, SC
• Alesia Skinner, Paxtang Cemetery, Harrisburg, PA

Sunday, Nov. 1: Millennial Morticians with ABQ Brews

Join in this lively discussion with young funeral professionals. They’ll provide a fresh perspective on the business of dying. Join the discussion at 7:00 p.m. EST/6:00 p.m. CST/5:00 p.m. MST/4:00 p.m. PST. Panelists include:

• Monica Torres, NXT Generation Mortuary Support, Phoenix, AZ
• Joe’l Anthony, The Grave Woman, Atlanta, GA
• Lauren LeRoy, Little Miss Funeral, Buffalo, NY
• Joshua McManigal, Daniels Family Funerals & Cremations, Albuquerque, NM
• Amanda Wallace Trujillo, French Funerals & Cremations, Albuquerque, NM

Monday, Nov. 2: Funeral Directors’ Experiences in COVID Hot Spots

Funeral directors Amy Cunningham with A Fitting Tribute in New York City and Syd Waldman with Waldman Funeral Care in Houston share their experiences at the peak of coronavirus deaths in their cities. Join the discussion at 2:00 p.m. EST/1:00 p.m. CST/12:00 p.m. MST/11:00 a.m. PST. Among the topics we’ll examine:

1. Streamed funerals and Zoomed memorial events are stronger than ever, with some surprising advantages.
2. New strategies on getting the life story told, which is increasingly important: video slide shows of the life, memorial books with recipes, life wisdom and photos, and other activities.
3. Outdoor gatherings may be the preference for next couple of years in some areas, strengthening the case for choosing burial gravesides.
4. More folks are signing their end-of-life directives and making funeral plans in advance. Death used to be something we didn’t want to talk about, now it seems it’s all we discuss!

Sessions on Funerals and Memorial Services

On Friday, October 30, we’ll have two sessions about new trends in online memorial services and making meaningful funerals.

3:30 p.m. EDT/2:30 p.m. CDT/1:30 p.m. MDT/12:30 p.m. PDT Join “How to Hold a Virtual Memorial Service” with Mandy Benoualid, President of Keeper. She will share how her family put together a virtual memorial service for her grandmother, who died of COVID-19 earlier this year. She will also provide a PDF guide with great information.

5:00 p.m. EDT/4:00 p.m. CDT/3:00 p.m. MDT/2:00 p.m. PDT “Raising the Bar on Our Funeral Traditions” with Kyle Tevlin, founder of I Want a Fun Funeral. It’s time to take our goodbye celebrations up a notch. And that doesn’t mean a great photo montage. It means getting involved, rolling up your sleeves, and honoring and celebrating with all that you’ve got. With this new vision, you’ll never see funerals the same way again. Learn how to help people create deeply meaningful and unforgettable goodbye celebrations.

Get Your Tickets Today!

Get Tickets Here: https://beforeidienm.com/virtual-festival-tickets-on-sale/

Festival Sponsors

Thank you to these sponsors of the Before I Die New Mexico Virtual Festival:

• A Good Goodbye – Gail Rubin puts the “fun” in funeral planning. www.AGoodGoodbye.com
• AFTR – a new way to stay connected with loved ones, anytime, anywhere. www.AFTR.live
• AquamationInfo.com –  learn about alkaline hydrolysis, an eco-friendly, alternative to flame cremation.
• Compassion & Choices – offering care and choice at the end of life. www.CompassionAndChoices.org
• Daniels Family Funerals & Cremations,Fairview Memorial Park, Gabaldon Mortuary in Albuquerque,Vista Verde Memorial Park in Rio Rancho; Avista Cremation & Burial in Santa Fe; DeVargas Funeral Home & Crematory in Espanola andin Taos.
• EstatePros LLC – offering professional dispersal of personal possessions due to a move, illness or death. www.EstateProsNM.com
• French Funerals & Cremations and Sunset Memorial Park in Albuquerque.
• Keeper – keeping memories alive with online tributes to preserve, celebrate and share life legacies. www.MyKeeper.com

A portion of the sponsorship proceeds and ticket sales from the Before I Die NM Virtual Festival will be donated to these 501(c)(3) charitable partners:

• Fathers Building Futures, making “caskets for a cause” (www.FathersBuildingFutures.com), and
• Albuquerque’s Historic Fairview Cemetery, established 1881 (www.HistoricFairviewCemeteryABQ.org).

The post Funeral Directors & Cemeterians Highlight Before I Die Festival Events first appeared on A Good Goodbye ~ Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die.

What can we do with our loved ones’ possessions, before and after they die? How do we manage our memories and emotions related to objects? Downsizing and estate management can be difficult. “Managing Our Loved Ones’ Possessions Before and After They Die,” a panel discussion with authors and experts can help.

Join this live discussion at the Before I Die New Mexico Virtual Festival on November 2, 2020. This online Zoom meeting will take place at 12:00 p.m. EST/11:00 a.m. CST/10:00 a.m. MST/9:00 a.m. PST. Our panelists are:

Allison Gilbert, author of Passed and Present: Keeping Memories of Loved Ones Alive

Passed and Present is a one-of-a-kind guide for discovering creative and meaningful ways to keep the memory of loved ones alive. Inspiring and imaginative, this bona fide “how-to” manual teaches us how to remember those we miss most, no matter how long they’ve been gone. Passed and Present is not about sadness and grieving—it is about happiness and remembering. It is possible to look forward, to live a rich and joyful life, while keeping the memory of loved ones alive. (Purchase through this Amazon affiliate link)

Rachel Kodanaz, author of Finding Peace, One Piece at a Time: What To Do With Your and a Loved One’s Personal Possessions

Personal possessions tell a beautiful story of a person’s life. Finding Peace, One Piece at a Time helps to capture and share these stories by providing tools for how to thin, repurpose, and redistribute these possessions so they continue to be with us today and for future generations.

In the digital era, personal possessions include not only physical objects but also the accumulated data of a lifetime. These physical and digital footprints combine into an extension of ourselves and what we signify. Finding a new home for these items helps maintain a connection to those who are no longer physically with us. Their possessions embody memories that should be saved, shared, and treasured in the hands of those who want to forever be connected. (Purchase through this Amazon affiliate link)

Bill Shapiro and Naomi Wax, co-authors of What We Keep: 150 People Share the One Object that Brings Them Joy, Magic, and Meaning

Everyone has that one object that holds deep meaning — some relic that speaks to their past, that carries a remarkable story. What We Keep is a collection of interviews with people about the single object in their life that has the most emotional significance, those objects we often don’t talk about but that make us who we are. (Purchase through this Amazon affiliate link)

Karen Hyatt, founder of Estate Pros

Karen Hyatt is Founder/Owner of Estate Pros LLC. Estate Pros offers professional, confidential and competent assistance to families through professionals and direct to families to distribute estates due to a move, illness or death. www.EstateProsNM.com

Get Your Tickets to the Festival Today!

The 4th annual Before I Die New Mexico Virtual Festival is an online, pandemic-safe experience. The four days of death-positive conversations and experiences will take place October 30 to November 2, 2020, at www.BeforeIDieNM.com. Get more information and tickets here.

Ticket Options

One-Day Pass: Access for one full day of Festival events and access prerecorded videos of other Festival events. $20 Add to Cart

Video/Theatre Experience: Watch live Zoom short plays related to end-of-life issues, participate in conversation with playwright Robert Benjamin, and access prerecorded videos of other Festival events. $20 Add to Cart

Death Cafe Experience: Attend all four Death Cafes during the Festival and access prerecorded videos of other Festival events. $20 Add to Cart

General Admission: Attend all Festival events, access prerecorded videos of other Festival events, plus receive the 4-DVD set of TV interviews, A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die. $50 Add to Cart

VIP Festival Experience: Attend all Festival events, plus get entry to the VIP Halloween party, the A Good Goodbye book and DVD set, and a goodie bag of gifts. $100 Add to Cart

Online videos are accessible any time through the YouTube channel devoted to Before I Die Festivals, made available with all registrations. Videos include past Before I Die NM Festival panel discussions and speakers.

Festival Sponsors

The Before I Die New Mexico Virtual Festival is made possible by:

• A Good Goodbye – Gail Rubin puts the “fun” in funeral planning. AGoodGoodbye.com
• AFTR – a new way to stay connected with loved ones, anytime, anywhere. AFTR.live
• AquamationInfo.com – learn about alkaline hydrolysis, an eco-friendly, alternative to flame cremation.
• Compassion & Choices – Compassion & Choices in New Mexico educates and empowers New Mexicans to chart their own end of life journey. Learn more at  www.CompassionandChoices.org
• Daniels Family Funerals & Cremations, Fairview Memorial Park, Gabaldon Mortuary and Vista Verde Memorial Park in Albuquerque; Avista Cremation & Burial in Santa Fe; DeVargas Funeral Home & Crematory in Espanola and in Taos.
• EstatePros LLC – offering professional dispersal of personal possessions due to a move, illness or death. EstateProsNM.com
• French Funerals & Cremations and Sunset Memorial Park in Albuquerque.
• Keeper – keeping memories alive with online tributes to preserve, celebrate and share life legacies. MyKeeper.com

A portion of the sponsorship proceeds and ticket sales benefit these 501(c)(3) charitable partners:

• Fathers Building Futures, making “caskets for a cause” (www.FathersBuildingFutures.com).
• Albuquerque’s Historic Fairview Cemetery, established 1881 (www.HistoricFairviewCemeteryABQ.org).

The post Nov. 2: Managing Possessions Panel first appeared on A Good Goodbye ~ Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die.

During the coronavirus pandemic, there’s a rumble of fear about sickness and death threatening our emotional well-being. How can we find a hopeful message in this time of death and dread?

Join the “Women Who Know: What the Dead Want to Tell You” panel discussion as part of the Before I Die New Mexico Virtual Festival. This event will take place on Friday, October 30 at 5:00 p.m. MDT. Our panelists bring an upbeat message that death is not final, and that those who have crossed over have messages for the living.

The panelists are:

• Judith Fein, journalist and author, How to Communicate with the Dead
• Annie Mattingley, author, The After Death Chronicles
• Bethany Paix, spirit release specialist, www.AngelsHelpingHumans.com
• Andrea Campbell, Santa Fe psychotherapist

Tickets for Before I Die New Mexico Virtual Festival events are available now. They range from $20 for a one-day pass, all four Death Cafes or theatre/film event access, $50 for all four days of events, and $100 for the VIP Experience, including a Halloween/Day of the Dead party. Purchase tickets here.

Some of the questions that may be tackled include:

• Is there a connection between after-death communication and fear of death?
• What are some ways the dead communicate with the living?
• How do you ask/receive communications from those who have died?
• Where do people go when they leave their bodies?
• What messages to the dead have for the living during this coronavirus pandemic?

Three of the four panelists participated in this panel discussion, recorded on August 29, 2020 as part of the Reimagine: Life, Love & Loss virtual festival.

You can also see this panel’s discussion in last year’s festival and other videos of speakers and panels at this page at the Before I Die New Mexico Festival website.

Festival Sponsors

The Before I Die New Mexico Virtual Festival is made possible by:

• A Good Goodbye – Gail Rubin puts the “fun” in funeral planning. AGoodGoodbye.com
• AFTR – a new way to stay connected with loved ones, anytime, anywhere. AFTR.live
• AquamationInfo.com – learn about alkaline hydrolysis, an eco-friendly, alternative to flame cremation.
• Compassion & Choices – Compassion & Choices in New Mexico educates and empowers New Mexicans to chart their own end of life journey. Learn more at  www.CompassionandChoices.org
• Daniels Family Funerals & Cremations, Fairview Memorial Park, Gabaldon Mortuary and Vista Verde Memorial Park in Albuquerque; Avista Cremation & Burial in Santa Fe; DeVargas Funeral Home & Crematory in Espanola and in Taos.
• EstatePros LLC – offering professional dispersal of personal possessions due to a move, illness or death. EstateProsNM.com
• French Funerals & Cremations and Sunset Memorial Park in Albuquerque.
• Keeper – keeping memories alive with online tributes to preserve, celebrate and share life legacies. MyKeeper.com

A portion of the sponsorship proceeds and ticket sales benefit these 501(c)(3) charitable partners:

• Fathers Building Futures, making “caskets for a cause” (www.FathersBuildingFutures.com).
• Albuquerque’s Historic Fairview Cemetery, established 1881 (www.HistoricFairviewCemeteryABQ.org).

The post October 30: What the Dead Want to Tell You first appeared on A Good Goodbye ~ Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die.

The schedule for the 4^th annual Before I Die New Mexico Virtual Festival, four days of death-positive conversations and experiences, is now available. Events will take place over Zoom October 30 to November 2, 2020, at www.BeforeIDieNM.com.

Tickets for Before I Die New Mexico Virtual Festival events range from one-day passes for $20, to all four days for $50, to the VIP Experience at $100. Tickets are available here.

The Virtual Festival includes online videos featuring behind-the-scenes tours and past Before I Die NM Festival panel discussions and speakers. Videos are accessible any time for free through this Festival web page.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 30 (Create a Great Funeral Day)

10:00 a.m. “Where the Bodies Are Buried” panel discussion with cemeterians about new approaches to cemetery use and creative community outreach. Panelists include:

• Chris Keller, Sunset Memorial Park, Albuquerque, NM
• Joshua McManigal, Fairview Memorial Park, Albuquerque, and Vista Verde Memorial Park, Rio Rancho, NM
• Paul Williams, Historic Congressional Cemetery, Washington, D.C.
• Heather Leigh, Greenhaven Memorial Gardens, Elgin, SC
• Alesia Skinner, Paxtang Cemetery, Harrisburg, PA

11:30 a.m. to 1:00 p.m. Death Cafe discussion

1:30 to 2:30 p.m. “How to Hold a Virtual Memorial Service” with Mandy Benoualid, President of Keeper.

3:00 to 4:30 p.m. “Raising the Bar on Our Funeral Traditions” It’s time to take our goodbye celebrations up a notch. And that doesn’t mean a great photo montage. It means getting involved, rolling up your sleeves, and honoring and celebrating with all that you’ve got. With this new vision, you’ll never see funerals the same way again. Kyle Tevlin is the founder of I Want a Fun Funeral, a consulting company helping people create deeply meaningful and unforgettable goodbye celebrations.

5:00 p.m. “Women Who Know: What the Dead Want to Tell You” panel discussion with four women who communicate with those who have died:

• Judith Fein, journalist and author, How to Communicate with the Dead
• Annie Mattingley, author, The After Death Chronicles
• Bethany Paix, spirit release specialist, www.AngelsHelpingHumans.com
• Andrea Campbell, psychotherapist

View last year’s panel discussion with these women.

7:00 p.m. Mortality Movie: CARPET KINGDOM – Enjoy this short film about funeral plans gone awry and join in a post-viewing discussion.

Get Tickets Here: https://beforeidienm.com/virtual-festival-tickets-on-sale/

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 31 (Halloween)

9:00 a.m. to 10:30 a.m. “The Woo-Woo Side of Death” – a discussion with internationally renowned psychic, speaker and author Tammy Holmes, and paranormal investigator and ghost hunter Matthew Goldman.

11:00 a.m. Workshop: “Why You Need an Advance Healthcare Directive” – Jan Wilson presents on why an Advance Healthcare Directive is important, how to choose your health proxy, what to include in the directive and how to have that vital conversation with your loved ones. Resources will be emailed ahead of the session.

1:00 to 2:30 p.m. Death Cafe discussion

3:00 p.m. to 4:00 p.m. Mortality Movie: PLOTS – short film of the play by Los Alamos playwright Robert Benjamin. A couple visits the grave of a husband’s first wife, as his second wife realizes his funeral plans differ from her vision for final resting arrangements. Performance followed by an audience talk back session.

4:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. Book Discussion: Wonder Widows authors Trish Comer, Peggy Langenwalter, and Jennifer Cox Horak discuss how they are empowering women to break the silence of widowhood.

7:00 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. VIP Experience Halloween Zoom Party with film clips from Dia de los Muertos animated films COCO and BOOK OF LIFE, “Show & Tales” with Martie McNabb of Memories Out of the Box, helping you share the stories behind a treasured object, and fun interactive activities.

Get Tickets Here: https://beforeidienm.com/virtual-festival-tickets-on-sale/

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 1 (All Saints Day)

9:00 a.m. to 9:45 a.m. Q&A about Historic Fairview Cemetery, established in Albuquerque, NM in 1881, with Susan Schwartz, Cemetery Historian. The nonprofit organization that runs the cemetery maintains the grounds and shares the history of Albuquerque and New Mexico with the public. Part of Festival ticket sales and sponsorships are donated to this 501(c)(3) organization.

10:00 a.m. to 11:30 a.m. Death Cafe discussion

12:00 p.m. to 12:45 p.m.  Book Discussion: Cruel Death, Heartless Aftermath: My Family’s End-of-Life Nightmare, and How to Avoid It by Barbara Mancini. In 2013, she was arrested and prosecuted in Pennsylvania on the charge of aiding the attempted suicide of her dying 93-year old father after handing him his prescribed morphine five days before his death. Millions of Americans could easily suffer a similar family tragedy.

1:00 p.m. to 2:00 p.m. Panel Discussion: “Prospects for Medical Aid in Dying in New Mexico” with New Mexico leaders discussing the path to pass state legislation in January. Participants include Barak Wolff, MPH, Founding Member, NM End of Life Options Coalition; Rob Schwarz, Emeritus Professor, UNM Law School, and Elizabeth Armijo, Western Field Director, Compassion & Choices.

3:00 p.m. to 4:00 p.m. Mortality Theatre: ULTIMATE PRECISION – Live Zoom theatre production of the short play by Los Alamos playwright Robert Benjamin. A man works on his own obituary, to the consternation of his wife. Performance followed by an audience talk back session.

5:00 p.m. to 6:00 p.m. “Millennial Morticians with ABQ Brews” –  join in this lively discussion with young professionals in the funeral and cemetery business. Panelists include:

• Monica Torres, NXT Generation Mortuary Support, Phoenix, AZ
• Joe’l Anthony, The Grave Woman, Atlanta, GA
• Lauren LeRoy, Little Miss Funeral, Buffalo, NY
• Joshua McManigal, Daniels Family Funerals & Cremations, Albuquerque, NM
• A representative from French Funerals & Cremations, Albuquerque, NM

7:00 p.m. to 8:15 p.m. “Property Reincarnation: Giving New Life to the “Stuff” of our Lives” –  Karen Hyatt, Founder, Estate Pros.

Get Tickets Here: https://beforeidienm.com/virtual-festival-tickets-on-sale/

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 2 (All Souls Day)

9:00 a.m. to 9:45 a.m. “Inside New Mexico’s Office of the Medical Investigator” with Nancy Mance, MA, LPCC, OMI Grief Services Program Manager.

10:00 a.m. to 11:30 a.m. Book Discussion: “Managing Our Loved Ones’ Possessions Before and After They Die” with Allison Gilbert, author of Passed and Present, Rachel Kodanaz, author of Finding Peace, One Piece at a Time, Bill Shapiro and Naomi Wax, authors of What We Keep, and Karen Hyatt, Estate Pros.

12:00 p.m. to 1:00 p.m. Panel Discussion: “Funeral Directors’ Experiences in COVID Hot Spots” with funeral directors Amy Cunningham (New York City), Syd Waldman (Houston) and others sharing their experiences at the peak of coronavirus deaths in their cities.

1:30 to 2:45 p.m. “COVID-19 Advance Care Planning: Who Will Speak for You?” with Garrick Colwell, Kitchen Table Conversations. If you became seriously ill with COVID-19, what are your treatment options? Do you want to be intubated and on a ventilator? What about CPR? Be prepared, take control now, make your COVID-19 medical plan.

3:00 p.m. to 4:30 p.m. Death Cafe discussion

5:00 p.m. to 6:00 p.m. Fathers Building Futures (FBF) panel discussion. FBF is a nonprofit social enterprise that provides jobs and skills to ex-convicts to reduce recidivism. They make pine caskets, wooden urns, and household wood products. Part of Festival ticket sales and sponsorships are donated to this 501(c)(3) organization.

7:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. Mortality Theatre: ALLOCATING THE JEWELS – Live Zoom theatre production of the short play by Los Alamos playwright Robert Benjamin. A woman with a terminal illness seeks to find new homes for her valuables before she dies. Performance followed by an audience talk back session.

Get Tickets Here: https://beforeidienm.com/virtual-festival-tickets-on-sale/

Festival Sponsors

Thank you to these sponsors of the Before I Die New Mexico Virtual Festival:

• A Good Goodbye – Gail Rubin puts the “fun” in funeral planning. www.AGoodGoodbye.com
• AFTR – a new way to stay connected with loved ones, anytime, anywhere. www.AFTR.live
• AquamationInfo.com –  learn about alkaline hydrolysis, an eco-friendly, alternative to flame cremation.
• Compassion & Choices – offering care and choice at the end of life. www.CompassionAndChoices.org
• Daniels Family Funerals & Cremations,Fairview Memorial Park, Gabaldon Mortuary in Albuquerque,Vista Verde Memorial Park in Rio Rancho; Avista Cremation & Burial in Santa Fe; DeVargas Funeral Home & Crematory in Espanola andin Taos.
• EstatePros LLC – offering professional dispersal of personal possessions due to a move, illness or death. www.EstateProsNM.com
• French Funerals & Cremations and Sunset Memorial Park in Albuquerque.
• Keeper – keeping memories alive with online tributes to preserve, celebrate and share life legacies. www.MyKeeper.com

A portion of the sponsorship proceeds and ticket sales from the Before I Die NM Virtual Festival will be donated to these 501(c)(3) charitable partners:

• Fathers Building Futures, making “caskets for a cause” (www.FathersBuildingFutures.com), and
• Albuquerque’s Historic Fairview Cemetery, established 1881 (www.HistoricFairviewCemeteryABQ.org).

The post Before I Die New Mexico Virtual Festival Schedule first appeared on A Good Goodbye ~ Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die.