Gail Rubin, The Doyenne of Death and coordinator of the 2024 Before I Die New Mexico Festival, has a message for you about the upcoming events, available online as well as in-person in Albuquerque. In-person preview events take place October 24 and 26, and the online sessions will be available November 1-4. The full schedule of events follows.

The Before I Die New Mexico Festival will take place at different locations each day in the Albuquerque metropolitan area. The festival has entertaining and educational elements that get people to discuss end-of-life issues and plan ahead. Most sessions will be available online as hybrid events, with audiences participating both in-person and via Zoom.

View the schedule and register online at: https://beforeidiefestivals.com/2024-before-i-die-nm-festival-event-schedule/

Thursday, October 24, 2024

Location: Tractor Brewing Wells Park, 1800 4^th Street NW, ABQ, NM 87102

Millennial Morticians with ABQ Brews: Death Doula Edition

6:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. Free event! Buy a drink and ask questions of death doulas Brooke Nutting, Danielle Slupesky and Kelly Saindon, Licensed Spiritual Counselor, during this evening at Tractor Brewing Wells Park location. Stick around for the film Just Buried, a comedic look at how the owner and staff of a funeral home in a small town stays in business.

Saturday, October 26, 2024

Death is Not a Dirty Word Resource Fair: Location: Unity Spiritual Center, 9800 Candelaria Rd. NE, ABQ NM 87112

9:00 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. Albuquerque is blessed with incredible resources to support end-of-life planning and care. Come meet your local resources, from home funerals to green burial, sacred space to legal documents, and everything in between. Free, refreshments provided.

Murder and Mayhem Cemetery Tour: Location: Historic Fairview Cemetery, 700 Yale Blvd. SE, ABQ, NM 87109

1:00 p.m. or 3:00 p.m. Murder and Mayhem Tour (Register for the festival at the $80 level)

Wear your walking shoes for this fascinating tour of Historic Fairview Cemetery! Meet some of the “permanent residents” who died because of murder or mayhem. This is a fundraiser for the nonprofit organization supporting the cemetery, founded in 1881.

Death Over Dinner Event: Location: Provided upon registration

6:30 p.m. Join Gail Rubin, CT, The Doyenne of Death and Before I Die Festival Coordinator, for an intimate dinner and discussion (register for the festival at $100 level).

REGISTER HERE

Friday, November 1, 2024

Theme: Eco-Friendly Funerals: Location: Passages International Headquarters, 4516 Anaheim Ave. NE, ABQ, NM 87113

8:30 a.m. – 9:00 a.m. Check in/coffee

9:00 a.m. – 10:00 a.m. Welcome by Darren Crouch, president of Passages International and the Green Burial Council, discussion of eco-friendly funerals and Etern.Life geo tag program. (viewable on Zoom)

10:15 a.m. – 11:15 a.m. A representative of Better Place Forests talks about their innovative memorial forests that provide a natural alternative to cemeteries. (viewable on Zoom)

11:30 a.m. – 1:00 p.m. Tour of Passages International headquarters, lunch with Death Café discussion.

1:00 p.m. – 2:00 p.m. Panel discussion: Desert, Forest, Sea, Etc. – Eco-Friendly Disposition Options, panelists TBA (viewable on Zoom)

2:15 p.m. – 3:15 p.m. Demonstration of shrouding process. (viewable on Zoom)

3:30 p.m. – 5:00 p.m. Bamboo and Jute Casket Assembly Contest. (viewable on Zoom)

November 1 Evening Event: Mortality Movies Showing and Discussion

Location: Death Doula Professionals, 1724 Moon Street NE, ABQ, NM 87112

6:30 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. Watch a film related to the day’s theme of environmental issues and death and stick around for an insightful conversation. Attendees to vote on the choice of the 1973 classic Soylent Green or the 2014 documentary, A Will for the Woods.

Saturday, November 2, 2024

Theme: Hospice 101: Location: Bosque Trails Hospice, 303 San Mateo Blvd. NE, Suite 104, ABQ, NM 87108 (use the entrance through the gate on Copper Avenue at San Mateo.)

8:30 a.m. – 9:00 a.m. Check in/coffee

9:00 a.m. – 10:30 a.m. Hospice 101 and Medical Aid In Dying (MAID) with staff of Bosque Trails Hospice. (viewable on Zoom)

10:45 a.m. – 11:45 a.m. Hospice experiences with Gail Rubin and other speakers. (viewable on Zoom)

Noon – 1:00 p.m. Lunch with discussion/Barbara Karnes New Rules of Hospice video.

1:00 p.m. – 2:00 p.m. Grief Insights from Beyond the Veil with noted psychic Tammy Holmes. (viewable on Zoom)

2:15 p.m. – 3:15 p.m. Veterans’ Care and Funeral Benefits with Bosque Trails Social Workers. (viewable on Zoom)

3:30 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. Five Wishes workshop – introduction to the Five Wishes form and opportunity to fill out the document. (viewable on Zoom)

REGISTER HERE

November 2 Evening Event: Mortality Movies Showing and Discussion

Location: Death Doula Professionals, 1724 Moon Street NE, ABQ, NM 87112

6:30 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. Watch a film related to the day’s theme of hospice and stick around for an insightful conversation. Attendees to vote on the choice of the 2007 film Two Weeks or the 2024 film His Three Daughters.

Sunday, November 3, 2024

Theme: Planning for the Inevitable: Location: Death Doula Professionals, 1724 Moon Street NE, ABQ, NM 87112

8:30 a.m. – 9:00 a.m. Check in/coffee

9:00 a.m. – 10:15 a.m. “Let’s Get Ready! Everything You Need to Know Before You Go” with Dr. Kimberly Harms. Her talk explores the need to go beyond traditional estate planning and get our affairs in order emotionally. Acquire actionable steps for developing an Emotional Insurance Plan, and learn practical strategies for fostering forgiveness, reconciliation, and emotional healing within personal relationships. Her latest book is “Are You Ready? How to Build a Legacy to Die For.” (viewable on Zoom)

10:30 – 11:30 a.m. Chris Palmer, author of the new book, Achieving a Good Death: A Practical Guide to the End of Life, will discuss the elements needed to achieve a gentle, dignified, and peaceful death (presenting via Zoom).

11:30 – 1:00 p.m. Death Café conversation over lunch – an opportunity to discuss mortality concerns, openly and honestly.

1:00 p.m. – 2:00 p.m. “Shed Before You’re Dead” Downsizing panel discussion with Kathy B. Dempsey, RN, MED, CSP, Dr. Kimberly Harms, and Miriam Ortiz Y Pino with More Than Organized on the benefits of culling our massive amounts of stuff and ways to do it. (viewable on Zoom)

2:00 p.m. – 3:00 p.m. “Would You Hold a Living Funeral for Yourself?” with Kathy Dempsey, who is also a death doula who has helped clients hold their own funerals while they are still alive. (viewable on Zoom)

3:00 p.m. – 4:00 p.m. Book signing with Kathy Dempsey and Kimberly Harms.

REGISTER HERE

November 3 Evening Event: Mortality Movies Showing and Discussion

Location: Death Doula Professionals, 1724 Moon Street NE, ABQ, NM 87112

6:30 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. Watch a film related to the day’s theme of discussing and planning for end-of-life issues and stick around for an insightful conversation. Attendees to vote on the choice of the 1971 cult classic Harold and Maude or the 2007 film The Bucket List.

Monday, November 4, 2024

Theme: Unexpected Deaths: Location: South Valley Multi-Purpose Senior Center, 2008 Larrazolo Rd. SW, ABQ, NM 87105 (located just off of Atrisco Drive SW)

8:30 a.m. – 9:00 a.m. Check in/coffee

9:00 a.m. – 10:00 a.m.  Indigent cremation and burial in Bernalillo County, Diane Chavez, Operations Manager for General Services, Bernalillo County. (viewable on Zoom)

10:30 a.m. – noon The Office of the Medical Investigator (OMI) in New Mexico, Lauren Dvorscak, Deputy Chief of OMI. (viewable on Zoom)

Noon to 1:00 p.m. Lunch and Death Café

1:00 p.m. – 2:50 p.m. “Your Clock is Ticking: Are You Ready?” In this highly interactive session with Kathy Dempsey and Dr. Kimberly Harms, learn about unexpected death and how to prepare for it, as time runs out for individuals in the audience. (viewable on Zoom)

3:00 – 3:50 p.m. Panel on Medical Aid in Dying (MAID) with Sherry Burns, Deborah Dugan, and Leah Becker from End of Life Options New Mexico (viewable on Zoom)

4:00 – 5:00 p.m. “Peace of Mind” with Karla Barela Lucero, Advance Planning Consultant, French Funerals and Cremations (viewable on Zoom)

REGISTER HERE

November 4 Evening Event: Mortality Movies Showing and Discussion

Location: Death Doula Professionals, 1724 Moon Street NE, ABQ, NM 87112

6:30 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. Watch a film related to the day’s theme of unexpected deaths and stick around for an insightful conversation. Attendees to vote on the choice of the 1991 film My Girl or the 2006 film The Queen.

Choose your registration level:

• $20 – Provides online Zoom access and for in-person attendees, a goodie bag with A Good Goodbye DVD set.
• $40 – Includes a copy of the book, A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die.
• $60 – Includes a T-shirt from A Good Goodbye (Sizes M-L-XL-XXL)
• $80 – Includes registration for the Murder and Mayhem Cemetery Tour October 26.
• $100 – Includes Death Over Dinner event on October 26.

Register online for all events at: https://beforeidiefestivals.com/product/before-i-die-nm-festival-registration/

The Before I Die New Mexico Festival is made possible by the support of:

• A Good Goodbye: AGoodGoodbye.com
• Bernalillo County Indigent Program: https://www.bernco.gov/general-services/about-the-program/
• Better Place Forests: BetterPlaceForests.com
• Bosque Trails Hospice: BosqueTrailsHospice.com
• Conscious Crossroads End-of-Life Services: DeathDoulaDanielle.com
• Death Doula Professionals: DeathDoulaProfessionals.com
• End of Life Options New Mexico: EndOfLifeOptionsNM.org
• French Funerals & Cremations: FrenchFunerals.com
• Keeper Memorials: MyKeeper.com
• Passages International: PassagesInternational.com

The post 2024 Before I Die New Mexico Festival Video and Schedule first appeared on A Good Goodbye.

The seventh annual Before I Die New Mexico Festival will take place in Albuquerque from November 1-4, 2024, with preview events on October 24 and 26. With entertaining and educational elements to discuss and plan for end-of-life issues, this festival is a must-attend event for your 100% guaranteed mortality.

The festival offers outside-the-box activities and nationally recognized speakers at locations in Albuquerque, New Mexico, with online Zoom access options. Highlights include:

• Millennial Morticians with ABQ Brews: Death Doula Edition at Tractor Brewing (Oct. 24),
• Death is Not a Dirty Word Resource Fair (Oct. 26),
• Murder and Mayhem Tour of Historic Fairview Cemetery (Oct. 26) and
• Mortality Movies each night of the festival (Nov. 1-4).

Gail Rubin, festival coordinator and The Doyenne of Death®, has been holding Before I Die Festivals in New Mexico since 2017. “While it won’t kill you to discuss death, I’ve had five family members die over the past year and a half. I can tell you from experience planning ahead makes a difficult time much easier to handle, and it saves money, too.”

Each day of the festival features a theme: Eco-Friendly Funerals (Nov. 1), Hospice 101 (Nov. 2), Planning for the Inevitable (Nov. 3), and Unexpected Deaths (Nov. 4). Morning coffee and Death Cafe conversations over lunch are included at each day’s programming. Nationally recognized festival speakers include:

• Renowned psychic Tammy J. Holmes on “Grief Insights from Beyond the Veil,”
• Dr. Kimberly Harms on “Let’s Get Ready! Everything You Need to Know Before You Go,” on preparing our emotional estate plans, and,
• Kathy B. Dempsey on “Shed Before You’re Dead” and “Would You Hold a Living Funeral for Yourself?”

Other Before I Die New Mexico Festival speakers will address topics such as indigent deaths, green funerals, Medical Aid In Dying (MAID) in New Mexico, veterans benefits, The Five Wishes, and other topics. Daytime speaker sessions will be available on Zoom thanks to Keeper Memorials.

Tickets for the festival range from $20 to $100. A portion of the proceeds will be donated to the nonprofit organization Historic Fairview Cemetery, to support the restoration of the grounds and to share the history of Albuquerque through the lives of the people buried there.

For more information about the Before I Die New Mexico Festival, including ticket details, the schedule of events, and featured speakers, please visit: https://beforeidiefestivals.com/2024-before-i-die-nm-festival-event-schedule/

The Before I Die New Mexico Festival is made possible by the support of:

• A Good Goodbye: AGoodGoodbye.com
• Bernalillo County Indigent Program: https://www.bernco.gov/general-services/about-the-program/
• Better Place Forests: BetterPlaceForests.com
• Bosque Trails Hospice: BosqueTrailsHospice.com
• End of Life Options New Mexico: EndOfLifeOptionsNM.org
• French Funerals & Cremations: FrenchFunerals.com
• Keeper Memorials: MyKeeper.com
• Passages International: PassagesInternational.com

For media inquiries, interviews, or press passes, please contact:

Gail Rubin, Festival Coordinator: Gail@AGoodGoodbye.com | Office: 505-265-7215 | Cell: 505-363-7514

The post Cheerfully Discuss Death at the Before I Die New Mexico Festival! first appeared on A Good Goodbye.

Attend the 2024 Deathcare Superconference!

The vibrant city of Seattle will play host to the much-anticipated 2024 Deathcare Superconference, September 27-29, 2024. This gathering is designed to bring together professionals across the deathcare industry, from funeral directors and cemetery managers to grief counselors and cremation specialists. This event promises to be a cornerstone for advancing practices, sharing knowledge, and building lasting relationships within this essential sector.

Sponsors

A Good Goodbye is a co-sponsor of this event, which is being put on by the National Home Funeral Alliance, the National End of Life Doula Alliance, the Funeral Consumers Alliance, and People’s Memorial Association. Gail Rubin, The Doyenne of Death®, founder of A Good Goodbye and the Before I Die New Mexico Festival, will be attending the event in person.

You can attend either in-person or online. CLICK HERE to learn more and register. Watch parties are being organized in multiple cities, so people can gather to experience the event by zoom. Learn about watch parties here.

Other sponsors include Compassion & Choices, Keeper Memorials / Talk Death, Cremation Association of North America, End of Life Washington, Final Exit Network, Fitting Tribute Funeral Services, LLC, A Good Goodbye, Green Burial Council, Passages International, and Titan Casket.

A Vision for Unity and Growth

This year’s theme, Building Bridges in the Deathcare Landscape, speaks to the conference’s mission to foster collaboration across the diverse fields within the deathcare industry. In an era where the industry is rapidly evolving due to technological advancements, changing societal norms, and increasing demand for personalized services, the conference aims to bridge gaps between traditional practices and modern innovations. Attendees will explore ways to enhance their services, support grieving families, and navigate the complexities of today’s deathcare environment.

The goal of this event is for alternative deathcare and funeral care providers to share resources and have high-level conversations about what we want the future of deathcare to look like, from death doulas to hospice to home funerals to green burials and alternative disposition options to protecting consumer funerary rights.

Keynote Speakers and Sessions

The 2024 Deathcare Superconference will feature an impressive lineup of keynote speakers, each bringing unique insights into the challenges and opportunities facing the industry. Highlights include:

– Dr. Jessica Caldwell, a renowned thanatologist, who will discuss the psychology of grief in the digital age, offering strategies for supporting families through virtual and in-person channels.
– Michael Hansen, CEO of GreenPath Memorial Services, will present on sustainable deathcare practices, emphasizing the importance of eco-friendly options in today’s environmentally-conscious market.
– Samantha Lee, a cultural anthropologist, will lead a session on the diverse cultural perspectives on death and how these can inform more inclusive and respectful deathcare practices.

In addition to keynote presentations, the conference will offer a wide array of workshops, panels, and roundtable discussions. Topics will range from the latest in cremation technology and digital memorialization to legal updates affecting the industry and innovative approaches to end-of-life planning.

Networking and Collaboration Opportunities

One of the key features of the Deathcare Superconference is the opportunity for attendees to network and collaborate. The conference will include several networking events, including a welcome reception, industry-specific roundtables, and a closing gala. These events are designed to facilitate meaningful connections, allowing professionals to share experiences, discuss common challenges, and explore pottial partnerships.

Additionally, the conference will host an exhibition hall showcasing the latest products, services, and technologies in the deathcare industry. From casket manufacturers to software developers, exhibitors will present their offerings, giving attendees the chance to explore new tools and solutions that can enhance their services.

Location and Accessibility

Seattle, known for its stunning natural scenery and rich cultural landscape, is the ideal location for this year’s conference. The event will take place at the Central Library located in the heart of downtown Seattle. The venue is easily accessible, with a variety of accommodations, dining options, and attractions nearby, making it convenient for both local and international attendees.

Registration and Further Information

Registration for the 2024 Deathcare Superconference is now open. For more information, including the full conference agenda, speaker bios, and registration details, visit the official conference website.

As the deathcare industry continues to evolve, the 2024 Deathcare Superconference in Seattle offers an invaluable opportunity for professionals to come together, share knowledge, and build the bridges needed to navigate the future successfully. Whether you’re a seasoned industry veteran or new to the field, this conference promises to provide the insights, connections, and inspiration you need to thrive in this vital sector.

The post 2024 Deathcare Superconference: Building Bridges in the Deathcare Landscape Set to Unite Industry Professionals in Seattle first appeared on A Good Goodbye.

Gail Rubin, CT, host of Mortality Movies.

‘Mortality Movies,’ a new television series hosted by Gail Rubin, Certified Thanatologist and The Doyenne of Death®, delves into death education through curated film and television clips. Each 30-minute episode tackles different themes related to death, funerals, grief, and a host of end-of-life issues.

Each 30-minute episode has a different theme and supporting clips:

• Discussing Death Won’t Kill You: Patch Adams, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Coco
• Cultural Landmark Films about Death: The Seventh Seal, Harold and Maude, Defending Your Life
• Medicine and Mortality: Wit, Checking Out, Critical Care, The Descendants
• Funeral Planning: The Queen, The Living Wake, Six Feet Under, The Kominsky Method
• Funeral Shopping: The Loved One, The Kominsky Method, About Schmidt, The Big Lebowski, Six Feet Under
• Woody Allen on Death: Love and Death, Annie Hall, Hannah and Her Sisters
• Viking Funerals on Film: Beau Geste, The Vikings, Rocket Gibraltar, Eulogy, First Knight

The series will premiere on Xfinity’s Channel 27 in Albuquerque in early July 2024 and will also be available on YouTube via Gail Rubin’s channel (@GailRubin). Additional episodes on cremation, personalized funerals, estate planning, grief, and other related topics are in production. The program is filmed at Studio 519 in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

Rubin emphasizes the series’ unique approach, saying, “Through ‘Mortality Movies,’ we aim to encourage open discussions about death and empower viewers to plan ahead, ultimately easing the burden on their loved ones after they die.”

After debuting on Channel 27, episodes will become available on YouTube – search for ‘Mortality Movies’ on the @GailRubin channel. Most of the video clips on YouTube will be accessed through links in the description box. The program will also be offered on other cable access channels through PEGMedia (https://app.pegmedia.org/), a clearinghouse for free programming on cable systems across the country.

The experts joining host Gail Rubin to discuss the video and film clips are all based in the Albuquerque area:

• Danielle Slupesky, Death Doula with Conscious Crossroads End-of-Life Services, offering end-of-life guidance, vigil planning & holding, downsizing and peer grief companionship (DeathDoulaDanielle.com).
• Jane Westbrook, Death Educator with Generational Solutions, providing eight-week classes on planning ahead for end-of-life issues.
• Genna Reeves, Ph.D., Grief Coach/Peer Counselor, Certified Grief Educator, Community Liaison, HeartLight Center, and Death Doula with Invictus By Genna: Grief & Loss Services (InvictusByGenna.com).

Mortality Movies Film Clip Contest

Each ‘Mortality Movies’ episode features curated film and video clips related to death in the opening and closing credits. Viewers can participate in a film clip identification contest by emailing Gail@AGoodGoodbye.com with their list of clip sources to win exclusive ‘Mortality Movies’ merchandise. There are 12 sources in the opening credits and five in the closing credits. See if you can identify all the clips in these videos:

Mortality Movies Open

Mortality Movies Close

Tune in July 1!

Tune in to the premiere episode of ‘Mortality Movies’ on YouTube on July 1, 2024, on the @GailRubin YouTube channel, and subscribe for updates on each new episode.

The post New TV Series ‘Mortality Movies’ Takes Death Education to a New Level first appeared on A Good Goodbye.

Jewish funerals are different from the funerals of other faith traditions. In this Q&A with David Zinner, Chair of the Jewish Association for Death Education (JADE), he explains a new online tool to help people understand Jewish traditions around death, mourning and Jewish funerals.

What is Hineni and who created it?

The Hineni tool is designed to give succinct information about Jewish death practices. The word, Hineni, is the transliteration of a Hebrew phrase used in the Torah, meaning “Here I am.” It was chosen to indicate this tool is here to give succinct, direct answers to everyone quickly and easily.

The information presented applies to all levels of Jewish observance and is intended for general user learning. This tool is not an official dictum as to the application of Jewish law (halacha) nor does it indicate what is allowed or not allowed. Rather, it is an educational tool intended to help people understand Jewish end-of-life practices. Information presented in this tool was gleaned from many sources, specifically including those from many Jewish denominations. 

The Hineni tool was developed by the Jewish Association for Death Education (JADE) staff as a part of ongoing community educational efforts to find the best ways to disseminate and share knowledge about Jewish end-of-life practices, rites, customs, and traditions.

Are there any statistics on the percentage of U.S. Jews who are unaware of Jewish funerals and mourning practices?

We are not aware of any formal statistics on this. But informally we hear from many funeral directors that a large percentage of Jewish customers are not familiar with traditional Jewish practices.

Who is Hineni designed for?

Hineni is intended to be used by four audiences:

• Death professionals: those who work with members of the Jewish community when facing a death, such as funeral directors, cemetery workers, hospice personnel, Jewish clergy, chaplains, death doulas, and hospital personnel;
• Families facing a death: those who need immediate information to make decisions about the care of a loved one after death;
• Those doing advance planning: families who are making arrangements for a future death and who want to understand traditional Jewish practices;
• Educators: those who teach Jewish practices in the community and who can use this tool as a teaching aid and as a resource for drashot for services, lectures, or classes, along with Chevrah Kadisha workers who want to expand their abilities to share these practices with their community.

What topics does Hineni address?

The Hineni tool presents topics along the continuum of events around the end of life.  Each topic area includes the following information:

• A succinct definition of the topic area
• Four perspectives through which to understand the topic (practical, textual, emotional, and spiritual) – each of which displays a small paragraph of information
• A longer article for deeper understanding that includes significant detail about each topic
• All transliterated Hebrew words are italicized and highlighted – when hovered over the definition of the word or phrase is displayed in a small popup window – when the mouse is moved off the text, the popup disappears

Jewish star on casket

The following topics are included:

• Jewish Death Practices – an overview, the big picture
• Preplanning for Death – an overview of what’s involved in thinking ahead about death
• Bikur Cholim – visiting those who are ill: comforting the sick and dying
• Vidui – deathbed confession: who it’s for, what’s it about
• Shmirah – comforting the soul between death and burial; how it’s done, who it’s for
• Taharah – respectful preparation of the body for burial; what’s involved in this
• Caskets and Garments – what is traditionally used for Jewish burial and why
• Kriah – the tearing of garments as a sign of grief; how this is done today
• Jewish Funeral – what is involved today
• Jewish Mourning – big picture overview of Jewish mourning practices
• Burial and Disposition – choices in today’s world and traditional Jewish practices
• Jewish Cemetery – what makes a cemetery Jewish, why it matters
• Afterlife in Judaism – traditional views of the afterlife and how this is reflected in our rituals
• Chevrah Kadisha – what this organization is and how it is involved in Jewish death practices

What are some elements of Jewish funerals and death topics that would surprise people?

It is surprising that Jewish practices around death teach us how to live.

Jewish death rituals are based on two profound values – kindness and respect – and are imbued with beauty, dignity, humility, and loving kindness.  All of these teach us to treat the living with dignity, honor, and respect.

Is Jewish burial essentially green burial?

In today’s world, there are many approaches to disposition after death, including traditional Jewish burial.  The customary Jewish practices include many aspects of green burial, including no embalming, natural clothing, wooden caskets, and in-ground burial. However, many cemeteries require non-green aspects including concrete grave liners, that are not in accordance with natural practices.

What other things would you like people to know about Hineni?

It is intended to educate the large Jewish and non-Jewish population who do not understand the basics of Jewish end-of-life practices. It is free and available to everyone. It runs as a website, so it works on any device with a web browser.

This tool is accessible, easy to use, succinct in its presentation with access to deeper understandings, and includes audio reading of text, three sizes of text display, and light/dark display modes to present the information in the ways that users need it. It includes a simple help package and two ways to access the topic areas quickly.

The tool URL is: https://hineni.jadeinfo.org/

David Zinner holds or has held the following roles in Jewish death education and cemetery organizations:

• Jewish Association for Death Education (JADE), Chair
• Ben Zakkai Institute, Staff
• Preservation and Rehabilitation Initiative for Neglected Cemetery Entities (PRINCE), Coordinator
• Maryland State Advisory Council on Cemetery Operations, Consumer Representative
• Jewish Funeral Practices Committee of Greater Washington, Vice President
• Columbia Jewish Congregation (CJC), Chevrah Kadisha Chair
• Kavod v’Nichum & the Gamliel Institute, Founding and Past Executive Director

Additional posts about Jewish funerals and related traditions are available on The Family Plot Blog.

The post Hineni Online Information about Jewish Funerals and Mourning Traditions first appeared on A Good Goodbye.

MAID, which stands for Medical Aid in Dying, is a legal option in New Mexico. The University of New Mexico medical school recently held the first state level conference to help educate clinicians on this option. No other state that has MAID laws has had its own conference on medical aid in dying. In many ways, New Mexico is exceptional in its implementation of MAID. Here are some notes from that conference.

An Overview of MAID

Lonny Shavelson, MD, founder of the American Clinicians Academy on Medical Aid in Dying, provided an overview of the history of MAID.

Medical aid in dying started in Oregon in 1997, and it was the only U.S. state that allowed it until 2009, when Washington and Montana approved it. Vermont approved MAID in 2013. California and Colorado approved it in 2016, followed by Washington DC in 2017, Hawaii in 2018, and Maine and New Jersey in 2019. As the use of MAID spread, each state was doing their own thing in isolation.

On February 15, 2020, Dr. Shavelson and others started the American Clinicians Academy on Medical Aid in Dying to help coordinate the implementation of this growing medical movement. New Mexico approved their MAID law on June 17, 2021. The legislation was created with a foundation of knowledge from the progress made with previous states laws and practices.

Definition of medical aid in dying: Medical aid in dying refers to the legal practice where a clinician cares for a terminally ill patient who considers and potentially follows through with hastening their imminent death through the use of medications prescribed for that purpose. Earlier descriptions of medical aid in dying have characterized it as writing a prescription, at the patient’s request, for a lethal medication. Clinical best practices have since discouraged this limited focus and now emphasize the evaluation and care of terminally ill patients considering the option of a physician-assisted death

This care includes discussion of all options, the patient’s likely dying process (which differs widely depending on the illness), coordination of care in hospice care with aid in dying as the patient’s condition changes. It’s especially important for the clinician to follow the conditions of the patient’s GI (gastrointestinal) tract, because that is usually how the patient ingests the medication. Opiate tolerance can slow down the amount of time for the patient to die after ingesting the medication.

Dr. Shavelson shared a story of a patient who watched her father die a horrible death from cancer 50 years ago. She had skin cancer that had spread to her liver, and she was afraid of meeting the same fate. She asked for medical aid in dying, but now there are palliative and hospice care that didn’t exist when her father died. She used palliative care and hospice and lived for months. When she was about a week from dying, she requested MAID to avoid a painful death.

Dr. Shavelson said that New Mexico Exceptionalism starts with the state’s law. The legislation was built upon good practice and correcting errors, improving upon the other states’ experiences. There was a big problem with a 15 day waiting period and multiple requests. People were painfully dying before they could get the medication. In New Mexico, it takes one verbal request and a 48 hour waiting period, which can be waived as circumstances dictate. Enrollment in hospice confirms a second opinion of a medical professional. Nurse Practitioners and Physician Assistants can prescribe. Self administration does not prohibit assistance (as with physical disabilities of ALS and Parkinson’s disease patients).

End of Life Options New Mexico is a nonprofit organization that has been incredibly helpful in educating the public. In a data review of states doing MAID care, including seven major states, New Mexico has the lowest mean time to death of 75 minutes. Other states are longer – 115 minutes in Oregon and Washington. It could be the attention paid to gut function. There’s a high rate of attendance by a clinician at the death, more than 90% of teams physician, PA, hospice nurse, death doula, family, and pets.

The Basics of MAID in New Mexico

Presented by Jacqueline O’Neill, MD, University of New Mexico Hospital (UNMH), Lead MAID Program Lead Physician

There are currently 16 hospices in New Mexico that provide MAID and four independent providers, including UNMH. There are a total of 38 hospices in New Mexico. MAID qualification criteria in New Mexico are:

• Patient has a terminal illness with a 6 month prognosis.
• Patient is a New Mexico resident.
• Patient is over the age of 18.
• Has decision making capacity.
• Able to self administer the medication.

Evaluators can be a physician and hospice, two doctors, or a doctor and a Nurse Practitioner or Physician Assistant. Not all patients on hospice have a MAID qualifying prognosis. Presence at bedside during the ingestion of MAID provides legal immunity to providers. The diagnoses of Coronary Artery Disease and Protein Calorie Malnutrition needs further clarification. Residency is defined as residing in a particular place for the indefinite future.

Self administration problem: A patient with ALS may likely lose the ability to swallow or push a syringe plunger. In New Mexico, the law does not specifically require independence or prohibit assistance, as long as patient makes an “affirmative, conscious voluntary action to take the medication.”

Providers need to work with family members to communicate about the patient’s needs and concerns. The patient needs to fill out a verified consent form that is signed by two witnesses. Only one witness can be a family member, and the medical provider cannot be a witness. The prescription can be obtained in 48 hours or sooner. The cost of the medication ranges from $250 to $550. It is covered by Medicaid, but not Medicare.

Provider etiquette on day of aid in dying:

• Provide reassurance about process, expectations for ingestion and dying process.
• Prepare for possible burning sensations.
• Educate the family/loved ones about coma and death.

For patients who are not on hospice when they use MAID, the Office of the Medical Investigator (OMI) needs to be informed about the death and the primary care doctor should make the death pronouncement.

Medication Information

Lonny Shavelson, MD, traced the development of the current combination of medications used in MAID. Prepared by a compounding pharmacy, the different elements have evolved over the course of time as more states started to allow medical aid in dying.

In the current iteration of the medication, there are several elements. The morphine in the life-ending medication is 15,000 mg and the usual dose of morphine for hospice patients is 200 mg. Very bitter! And it burns going down. It is a good practice to offer the patient sorbet or popsicles pre-ingestion. The cold of the icy treat reduces the bitterness. He cautioned against using ice cream, as the fat is problematic for ingestion. He also recommends giving more sorbet post-ingestion of the medication to minimize the burning sensation. Imagine seeing a loving person taking care of the patient as they drift off to sleep.

Two ounces of the liquid medication versus four ounces was found to be absorbed faster and safely. While it’s twice the density, it goes down quicker with less bitterness and burning, and provided improvements for shortening the time to death.

The most common reason for a prolonged death is that the gut isn’t working properly and the medication doesn’t get absorbed well. The patient may develop gastroparesis, when the stomach delays emptying, and there may be nausea and vomiting. Constipation can also negatively impact prolonged dying. High levels of opioid tolerance can also impact the length of time to death, but the dose can be increased.

Other topics presented at this New Mexico Clinicians Conference on Medical Aid In Dying included “Responding to a Request for MAID,” “Capacity and Judgment in Aid in Dying,” “Understanding Suicidality and Depression in MAID” and a panel discussion with survivors, people whose loved ones used MAID. For more information about MAID, visit this online resource: www.acamaid.org.

Author: Gail Rubin, Certified Thanatologist and The Doyenne of Death®, attended the conference. She is also the coordinator of the Before I Die New Mexico Festival.

The post What is MAID – Medical Aid in Dying? A Report from UNM’s Conference first appeared on A Good Goodbye.

Death and Humor: Laughing in the Face of Death

In this episode of The Doyenne of Death® Podcast, host Gail Rubin continues her conversation with speaker and author Greg Bennick about the pioneering work of Ernest Becker, author of the Pulitzer Prize winning book, The Denial of Death. In part three of this conversation, Gail and Greg discuss death and humor, helping us to address the double bind of our existence. Listen to Part Three of the conversation here.

They discuss distractions in life that pull our attention away from thoughts of death. They talk about how humor and laughter can help us deal with negative things that happen in our lives. They also discuss an academic paper by Dr. Neil Elgee, titled Laughing at Death. He was a medical doctor fascinated with Ernest Becker’s work. Greg Bennick would meet with him for lunch and discuss Becker’s work. The paper dives into examining jokes, Freud and Woody Allen, Otto Rank, irony, laughter, and finding our way through the tough spots of life.

Download a PDF of Dr. Neil Elgee’s paper here.

Catch Part One of their conversation here. Listen to Part Two here.

Watch on YouTube

About Greg Bennick

Greg Bennick has been a thought provoker, public presenter, comedic juggler and punk rock vocalist (yes you read that correctly), a TEDx Speaker, a humanitarian and philanthropist, and an influencer devoted to transforming the world by inspiring personal and social change.

He is writing the first ever biography of philosopher, cultural anthropologist, and Pulitzer Prize winner Ernest Becker, who dedicated his life to understanding the complexities of self esteem and how it relates to our psychological well-being. Greg has been studying Becker’s work for twenty-five years and is a recognized expert on his writing. The insights Greg has drawn from Becker’s work offer hope for our increasingly turbulent world.

He is the author of the forthcoming book, Reclaim the Moment: 7 Strategies to Build a Better Now. It provides strategies for juggling a world of distractions to prioritize focus, improve self-esteem, and increase performance. To be released August 2024 by Wiley, it’s available for pre-order NOW: tinyurl.com/buildabetternow. Learn more at www.GregBennick.com.

About Gail Rubin

Gail Rubin, CT, pioneering death educator and podcast host.

Gail Rubin, Certified Thanatologist and The Doyenne of Death, was recognized by the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC) with their prestigious Community Educator Award at the organization’s annual conference in Houston on April 11, 2024. ADEC’s Community Educator Award honors an individual in a non-academic setting with expertise in the field of thanatology, the study of death, dying and bereavement. The award recognizes excellence in developing community focused teaching materials and events that are innovative and cutting edge.

She has created and facilitated numerous community death education events and materials. Learn more about Gail Rubin and her work at www.AGoodGoodbye.com and www.BeforeIDieFestivals.com.

The post Death and Humor on The Doyenne of Death Podcast, Part Three first appeared on A Good Goodbye.

On Self Esteem and Immortality

In this episode of The Doyenne of Death® Podcast, host Gail Rubin continues her conversation with speaker and author Greg Bennick about the pioneering work of Ernest Becker, author of the Pulitzer Prize winning book, The Denial of Death. In part two of this conversation, Gail and Greg discuss self esteem, Becker’s work related to the Terror Management Theory, the “Pearls Before Swine” cartoons of Stephan Pastis, and how we all strive for meaning in our lives. (You can catch what you missed in Part One here.)

The “Pearls Before Swine” cartoon strip by Stephan Pastis often pokes fun at death, self esteem, and funeral planning. During this podcast, Gail and Greg discuss a March 17, 2024 strip that talks about the goal of every being on earth: “… To leave their mark… to be significant… and in doing so, gain some measure of immortality.” Greg noted that we as humans are striving for a permanent presence even though we are temporary creatures.

Greg Bennick has been a thought provoker, public presenter, comedic juggler and punk rock vocalist (yes you read that correctly), a TEDx Speaker, a humanitarian and philanthropist, and an influencer devoted to transforming the world by inspiring personal and social change.

He is writing the first ever biography of philosopher, cultural anthropologist, and Pulitzer Prize winner Ernest Becker, who dedicated his life to understanding the complexities of self esteem and how it relates to our psychological well-being. Greg has been studying Becker’s work for twenty-five years and is a recognized expert on his writing. The insights Greg has drawn from Becker’s work offer hope for our increasingly turbulent world.

He is the author of the forthcoming book, Reclaim the Moment: 7 Strategies to Build a Better Now. It provides strategies for juggling a world of distractions to prioritize focus, improve self-esteem, and increase performance. To be released August 2024 by Wiley, it’s available for pre-order NOW: tinyurl.com/buildabetternow. Learn more at www.GregBennick.com.

You can listen and download the podcast at RedCircle.com. Or watch and listen to the conversation on YouTube.

About Gail Rubin

Gail Rubin, CT, pioneering death educator and podcast host.

Gail Rubin, Certified Thanatologist and The Doyenne of Death, was recognized by the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC) with their prestigious Community Educator Award at the organization’s annual conference in Houston on April 11, 2024. ADEC’s Community Educator Award honors an individual in a non-academic setting with expertise in the field of thanatology, the study of death, dying and bereavement. The award recognizes excellence in developing community focused teaching materials and events that are innovative and cutting edge.

She has created and facilitated numerous community death education events and materials. Learn more about Gail Rubin and her work at www.AGoodGoodbye.com and www.BeforeIDieFestivals.com.

The post Discussing Self Esteem and Death with Greg Bennick, Part Two first appeared on A Good Goodbye.

Not Just a Widow!

In this episode of the Doyenne of Death Podcast, host Gail Rubin talks with Patty Desiderio and Doug Robinson, co-authors of The Not Just a Widow Guidebook – a widow’s guide to surviving her new reality and transforming into her new self.

Patty and her husband Basil were married for decades before he died from cancer and heart issues. When he died in the middle of the night on February 21, 2011, she knew, as so many widows learn, her world changed forever. Doug was Patty and Basil’s financial planner for many years. Since women tend to outlive their husbands, he has quite a bit of experience helping widows deal with the aftermath of these devastating deaths.

When they decided to write The Not Just a Widow Guidebook, they had several goals in mind:

• To assure widows that they are not alone. Your “widow sisters” are here for you.
• To inform about the important things that need to be done, what questions need to be asked, and where to go for answers.
• To introduce the aspects of widowhood that women (and men) experience.
• To prepare for the transformation that widows will go through in the coming years after a spouse’s death.

In the interview, Patty shares several points from her “10 Secrets to Widowhood.” She provides upbeat tips for those who have become members of the club no one wants to join. You can download a PDF of her ten tips here.

Listen to and download the podcast here. Or watch the podcast video on YouTube.

About Gail Rubin

Gail Rubin, CT, pioneering death educator and podcast host.

Gail Rubin, Certified Thanatologist and The Doyenne of Death, was recognized by the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC) with their prestigious Community Educator Award at the organization’s annual conference in Houston on April 11, 2024. ADEC’s Community Educator Award honors an individual in a non-academic setting with expertise in the field of thanatology, the study of death, dying and bereavement. The award recognizes excellence in developing community focused teaching materials and events that are innovative and cutting edge.

She has created and facilitated numerous community death education events and materials. She coordinates Before I Die Festivals, offers books and games for end-of-life planning, produces and hosts The Doyenne of Death Podcast, and makes presentations illustrated with film clips. Learn more about Gail Rubin and her work at www.AGoodGoodbye.com and www.BeforeIDieFestivals.com.

The post The Not Just a Widow Guidebook on The Doyenne of Death Podcast first appeared on A Good Goodbye.

The Doyenne of Death Podcast Returns!

After a hiatus of a year, The Doyenne of Death Podcast is back in production. In this episode, host Gail Rubin talks with speaker and author Greg Bennick about the pioneering work of Ernest Becker, author of the Pulitzer Prize winning book, The Denial of Death. In part one of this conversation, Gail and Greg discuss how he learned about Becker’s mind-blowing theories about human cognition of our own mortality. They discuss our death denying tendencies, making meaning, and humans’ attempts to achieve immortality through various means.

Greg Bennick has been a thought provoker, public presenter, comedic juggler and punk rock vocalist (yes you read that correctly), a TEDx Speaker, a humanitarian and philanthropist, and an influencer devoted to transforming the world by inspiring personal and social change.

He is writing the first ever biography of philosopher, cultural anthropologist, and Pulitzer Prize winner Ernest Becker, who dedicated his life to understanding the complexities of self esteem and how it relates to our psychological well-being. Greg has been studying Becker’s work for twenty-five years and is a recognized expert on his writing. The insights Greg has drawn from Becker’s work offer hope for our increasingly turbulent world.

He is the author of the forthcoming book, Reclaim the Moment: 7 Strategies to Build a Better Now. It provides strategies for juggling a world of distractions to prioritize focus, improve self-esteem, and increase performance. To be released August 2024 by Wiley, it’s available for pre-order NOW: tinyurl.com/buildabetternow. Learn more at www.GregBennick.com.

You can listen and download the podcast at RedCircle.com. Or watch and listen to the conversation on YouTube.

About Gail Rubin

Gail Rubin, Certified Thanatologist and The Doyenne of Death, was recognized by the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC) with their prestigious Community Educator Award at the organization’s annual conference in Houston on April 11, 2024. ADEC’s Community Educator Award honors an individual in a non-academic setting with expertise in the field of thanatology, the study of death, dying and bereavement. The award recognizes excellence in developing community focused teaching materials and events that are innovative and cutting edge.

She has created and facilitated numerous community death education events and materials. Learn more about Gail Rubin and her work at www.AGoodGoodbye.com and www.BeforeIDieFestivals.com.

The post Doyenne of Death Podcast: Greg Bennick on Ernest Becker, Part One first appeared on A Good Goodbye.